SOME ACCOUNT

OF

THE LIFE AND WRITINGS

OF

MRS. TRIMMER, &c.

JOURNAL

FOR THE

YEAR 1793.

Jan. 1. Ir has pleased the God of all power, goodness, and mercy to prolong my life, and bring me to the beginning of another year. That which is passed has been a year of sorrow, may this be one of comfort to me and mine!

O Lord, with a grateful heart, I desire to praise and bless thy holy name, for all the mercies bestowed upon me, and my dear family in the course of the last year; in the course of our earthly existence. O how numberless, how great, have been thy mercies towards us! thou hast seen fit to send a heavy affliction upon us; but how didst

thou support us under it! the loss of such a husband, and such a father could not have been borne, as we have borne it, without the aid of thy Holy Spirit, but that was graciously and mercifully bestowed. To the end of life, I think, I must feel the loss; to the end of life, I think, I must continue to love the late dear partner of all my earthly joys and sorrows. I cannot cease wishing again to meet him, and to pass an eternity together with him in thy heavenly kingdom; but, O gracious Father, I love him with no earthly affection; I conceive him to be a happy spirit purified from the defilement of sin by the blood of the Redeemer. I reflect upon the many virtues he practised while on earth; I wish to imitate those virtues, and to obtain the same reward as I trust he through the merits of a Saviour (giving efficacy to those virtues which no human being can practice to perfection) has obtained; I trust this love is subordinate, greatly subordinate to the love of thee, my God. Did I suppose it not so, I would strive to root it out. Kind as this dear husband was to me, much as I am indebted to him for an uncommon degree of love and tenderness, he should not rival thee in my affections; but he was a great benefactor, a faithful friend, he loved me, I truly believe, better than he did himself, I cannot forget his love.

Blessed Jesus, when Lazarus died, and thou didst behold the grief of his sorrowing sisters, the tear of sympathy fell from thine eyes; surely then

thou wilt not take offence at the tears and sorrows of an afflicted widow; surely thou wilt have compassion on me; thou wilt intercede for me if my grief is excessive. O adorable Saviour, to thee I flee; have compassion upon me; O strengthen my mind, reform what is amiss in me. To thy service I devote the remainder of my days; my first and most earnest desire is to do the will of my heavenly Father; to follow thy blessed example; to propagate thy holy religion; to assert thy divinity; to teach the young and ignorant to know thee as the Son of God, the Saviour of the world. My next desire is to see all my own dear children walking in thy faith and fear, fulfilling their duty as becomes thy disciples.

My next desire is to see the children of the poor improve in godly knowledge and practice.

And I have still another ardent desire; that the adult poor of this neighbourhood, may under thy grace and benediction become Christians upon principle. To accomplish these purposes I would willingly devote my time, if I had ability to write, but I do not as yet find either my mind or body equal to the exertion.

Let me call to mind the blessings I am now in in possession of. At the head of these, let me place a sense of the divine favour, a well grounded hope, that God regards me as his child, for Jesus Christ's sake; an humble persuasion that the Saviour of the world reckons me among his faithful servants. O what inestimable blessings

are these! praised be the God of all goodness, the fountain of these unspeakable, these inestimable blessings! may I never forfeit them by disobedience! may I retain them to the end of life; may carry them out of the world with me! these are not of a perishable nature; these are the seeds of everlasting blessings!

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I have reason to hope I possess the esteem and favourable opinion of many good people; this is by no means a blessing to be disregarded. May I not grow vain upon it, but consider it as an incentive to virtuous actions; may I preserve to the end of life a good character, such as my children may take comfort from when I am gone down to the silent dust; may they feel an honest pride in the fair reputation of their mother, as they and I now do, in that of their father.

I have a happy influence over the minds of many poor people, both children and adults. This I consider not only as a blessing, but as an honour conferred upon me. It is a blessing most undoubtedly, for it is delightful in the exercise of it, and there is a great reward annexed to it. It is an honour, for it places me in the rank of a chosen servant; I am the handmaid of the Lord! O what are all the titles of earthly grandeur to this! O blessed Saviour, I had rather be a door keeper in the house of my God, than to dwell in the tents of the ungodly; but divine Providence has allotted me a more respectable office; I am often employed to administer to the temporal wants of my

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