By places and commissions sold, None e'er did modern Midas choose, But found him thus their merit scan, But gold defiles with frequent touch, Which, while the senate strove to scour, *The result of the investigations of the House of Commons, was the removal of the Duke of Marlborough from his command, and all his employments. By their own weight sunk to the bottom; Much good may do them that have caught 'em! And Midas now neglected stands, With asses' ears, and dirty hands. TOLAND'S INVITATION TO DISMAL, TO DINE WITH THE CALF'S HEAD CLUB. Imitated from HORACE, Lib. I. Epist. 5. [Toland, the Deist, distinguished himself as a party writer in behalf of the whigs. He wrote a pamphlet on the demolition of Dunkirk, and another called "The Art of Restoring," in which he directly charged Oxford with the purpose of bringing in the Pretender. The Earl of Nottingham, here, as elsewhere, called Dismal, from his swarthy complexion, was bred a rigid HighChurch-man, and was only induced to support the whigs, in their resolutions against a peace, by their consenting to the bill against occasional conformity. He was so distinguished for regularity, as to be termed by Rowe The sober Earl of Nottingham, Of sober sire descended. From these points of his character, we may estimate the severity of the following satire, which represents this pillar of highchurch principles as invited by the infidel and republican Toland, to solemnize the 30th January, by attending the Calves' Head Club. Swift mentions the satire in his Journal, 1st July, 1712. "Have you seen Toland's Invitation to Dismal? How do you like it? But it is an imitation of Horace, and perhaps you don't understand Horace." Vol. III., p. 93. It is again mentioned in the 17th of the same month. Ibid. p. 95. IF, dearest Dismal, you for once can dine To eat the calf's head with your trusty friends. Feels not his soul enliven'd when he's drunk? Si potes Archaicis conviva recumbere lectis, Mitte leves spes, et certamina divitiarum, Quid non ebrietas designat? operta recludit ; And fill Jack Smith with hopes to keep his place : Cholmondeley, when drunk, can never lose his wand; And Lincoln then imagines he has land. My province is, to see that all be right, Glasses and linen clean, and pewter bright; From our mysterious club to keep out spies, And tories (dress'd like waiters) in disguise. You shall be coupled as you best approve, Seated at table next the man you love. Sunderland, Orford, Boyle, and Richmond's grace, Will come; and Hampden shall have Walpole's place; Wharton, unless prevented by a whore, Will hardly fail; and there is room for more. Spes jubet esse ratas; in prælia trudit inermem; * Right Honourable Henry Boyle. + Swift elsewhere objects to the formality of Somers' manVol. III. p. 240. ners. But I love elbow-room whene'er I drink ; Let no pretence of business make you stay, If Guernsey calls, send word you're gone abroad; Or make you fast, and carry you to prayers; PEACE AND DUNKIRK. BEING AN EXCELLENT NEW SONG UPON THE SURREN DER OF DUNKIRK TO GENERAL HILL. 1712. To the tune of, "The King shall enjoy his own again." I. SPITE of Dutch friends and English foes, And the whigs may all go swing, Will, or ought to end in ropes; "But the queen shall enjoy her own again." |