Or gravely try to read the lines
Writ underneath the country signs; *
Or, "Have you nothing new to-day
"From Pope, from Parnell, or from Gay?"
Such tattle often entertains
My lord and me as far as Staines,
As once a week we travel down,
To Windsor, and again to town,
Where all that passes inter nos
Might be proclaimed at Charing-cross.
Yet some I know with envy swell,
Because they see me used so well:
"How think you of our friend the Dean?
I wonder what some people mean!
My lord and he are grown so great,
Always together, tête-à-tête;
What! they admire him for his jokes?--
See but the fortune of some folks!"
There flies about a strange report
Of some express arrived at court:
Jurantem me scire nihil, miratur, ut unum
Scilicet egregii mortalem altique silenti.
Perditur hæc inter misero lux, non sine votis.
O rus, quando ego te aspiciam? quandoque licebit
* Another of their amusements in these excursions consisted in lord Oxford and Swift's counting the poultry on the road, and which ever reckoned thirty-one first, or saw a cat, or an old woman, won the game. Bolingbroke, overtaking them one day in their road to Windsor, got into lord Oxford's coach, and began some political conversation; lord Oxford said, "Switt, I am up; there is a cat." Bolingbroke was disgusted with this levity, and went again into his own carriage. This was
"Nugari et discincti ludere"
I'm stopp'd by all the fools I meet,
And catechised in every street.
"You, Mr Dean, frequent the great:
Inform us, will the emperor treat?
Or do the prints and papers lie?"
Faith, sir, you know as much as I.
"Ah, Doctor, how you love to jest!
"Tis now no secret"-I protest
Tis one to me-" Then tell us, pray,
When are the troops to have their pay
And, though I solemnly declare
I know no more than my lord mayor,
They stand amazed, and think me grown
The closest mortal ever known.
Thus in a sea of folly tost,
My choicest hours of life are lost;
Yet always wishing to retreat,
O, could I see my country-seat!
There leaning near a gentle brook,
Sleep, or peruse some ancient book;
And there in sweet oblivion drown
Those cares that haunt the court and town.*
Nunc veterum libris, nunc somno, et inertibus horis,
Ducere solicitæ jucunda oblivia vitæ ?
O quando faba Pythagoræ cognata, simulque
Uncta satis pingui ponentur oluscula lardo?
* Thus far was translated by Dr Swift in 1714. The remaining part of the ode was afterward added by Mr Pope; in whose works the whole is printed. See Dr Warton's edition, vol. vi. p. 13.
HORACE, BOOK II. ODE I. PARA-
PHRASED.*
ADDRESSED TO RICHARD STEELE, ESQ.
"En qui promittit, cives, urbem sibi curæ,
Imperium fore, et Italiam, et delubra deorum."
DICK, thou'rt resolved, as I am told,
Some strange arcana to unfold,
And with the help of Buckley's † pen,
Το vamp the good old cause again:
Which thou (such Burnet's shrewd advice is)
Must furbish up, and nickname Crisis.
Thou pompously wilt let us know
What all the world knew long ago,
(E'er since sir William Gore was mayor,
And Harley filled the commons' chair)
That we a German prince must own,
When Anne for Heaven resigns her throne.
But, more than that, thou'lt keep a rout
With-who is in-and who is out;
Thou'lt rail devoutly at the peace,
And all its secret causes trace,
* This and the next poem were first added to the Dean's Works, by Mr Nichols, from copies in the Lambeth Library, K. 1, 2, 29, 30. 4to. For the immediate subject of the satire the reader may take the trouble to turn to vol. v. p. 359. 393.
+ Samuel Buckley, publisher of the Crisis.
The bucket-play 'twixt whigs and tories,
Their ups and downs, with fifty stories
Of tricks the lord of Oxford knows,
And errors of our plenipoes.
Thou'lt tell of leagues among the great,
Portending ruin to our state:
And of that dreadful coup d' eclat,
Which has afforded thee much chat.
The queen, forsooth (despotic,) gave
Twelve coronets without thy leave!
A breach of liberty, 'tis own'd,
For which no heads have yet atoned!
Believe me, what thou'st undertaken
May bring in jeopardy thy bacon;
For madmen, children, wits, and fools,
Should never meddle with edged tools.
But, since thou'rt got into the fire,
And canst not easily retire,
Thou must no longer deal in farce,
Nor pump to cobble wicked verse;
Until thou shalt have eased thy conscience,
Of spleen, of politics, and nonsense;
And, when thou'st bid adieu to cares,
And settled Europe's grand affairs,
"Twill then, perhaps, be worth thy while
For Drury Lane to shape thy style:
"To make a pair of jolly fellows,
The son and father, join to tell us,
How sons may safely disobey,
And fathers never should say nay;
By which wise conduct they grow friends
At last-and so the story ends." *
This is said to be a plot of a comedy with which Mr Steele has long threatened the town.-SWIFT.
When first I knew thee, Dick, thou wert
Renown'd for skill in Faustus' art;
Which made thy closet much frequented
By buxom lasses-some repented
Their luckless choice of husbands-others,
Impatient to be like their mothers,
Received from thee profound directions
How best to settle their affections.
Thus thou, a friend to the distress'd,
Didst in thy calling do thy best.
But now the senate (if things hit,
And thou at Stockbridge † wert not bit)
Must feel thy eloquence and fire,
Approve thy schemes, thy wit admire,
Thee with immortal honours crown,
While, patriot like, thou'lt strut and frown.
What though by enemies 'tis said,
The laurel, which adorns thy head,
Must one day come in competition,
By virtue of some sly petition:
Yet mum for that; hope still the best,
Nor let such cares disturb thy rest.
Methinks I hear thee loud as trumpet,
As bagpipe shrill, or oyster-strumpet;
Methinks I see thee, spruce and fine,
With coat embroider'd richly shine,
And dazzle all the idol faces,
As through the hall thy worship paces;
(Though this I speak but at a venture,
Supposing thou hast tick with Hunter)
*Not alluding, as I conceive, to Steele's researches in alchemy, but to his assumed character of Squire Bickerstaff, a conjuror, whose advice to various distressed females may be seen in the Tatler, and is ridiculed in the lines which follow.
The borough which, for a very short time, Steele represented in parliament.
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