SIR,

DEAN SWIFT'S ANSWER

TO VERSES BY DR. SHERIDAN.

IN reading your letter alone in my hackney, Your damnable riddle my poor brains did rack nigh; And when with much labour the matter I crack'd, I found you mistaken in matter of fact.

A woman's no sieve, (for with that you begin) Because she lets out more than e'er she takes in ; And that she's a riddle can never be right, For a riddle is dark, but a woman is light; But grant her a sieve, I can say something archer, Pray what is a man? he's a fine linen searcher.

tion?

Now tell me a thing that wants interpretation, What name for a maid was the first man's damna[rebus, your worship will please to explain me this I swear from henceforward you shall be my Phoebus. From my hackney-coach, Sept. 11,

If

1712, past 12 at noon,

CADENUS AND VANESSA.

1713.

THE shepherds and the nymphs were seen
Pleading before the Cyprian queen.
The counsel for the fair began,

Accusing the false creature man:

The brief with weighty crimes was charged,
On which the pleader much enlarged;

"That Cupid now has lost his art,
Or blunts the point of every dart ;-
His altar now no longer smokes,
His mother's aid no youth invokes ;
This tempts Freethinkers to refine,
And bring in doubt their powers divine :
Now love has dwindled to intrigue,
And marriage grown a money-league.
Which crimes aforesaid (with her leave)
Were (as he humbly did conceive)
Against our sovereign lady's peace,
Against the statute in that case,
Against her dignity and crown :'
Then pray'd an answer; and sat down.
The nymphs with scorn beheld their foes,
When the defendant's counsel rose,
And, what no lawyer ever lack'd,
With impudence own'd all the fact;
But, what the gentlest heart would vex,
Laid all the fault on the' other sex.
That modern love is no such thing,
As what those ancient poets sing,
A fire celestial, chaste, refined,
Conceived and kindled in the mind;
Which having found an equal flame,
Unites, and both become the same,
In different breasts together burn,
Together both to ashes turn:

But women now feel no such fire,
And only know the gross desire :
Their passions move in lower spheres,
Where'er caprice or folly steers.
A dog, a parrot, or an ape,

Or some worse brute in human shape,

Engross the fancies of the fair;

The few soft moments they can spare
From visits to receive and pay,
From scandal, politics, and play,
From fans, and flounces, and brocades,
From equipage and Park parades,
From all the thousand female toys,
From every trifle that employs
The out or inside of their heads,
Between their toilettes and their beds.
'In a dull stream, which moving slow,
You hardly see the current flow,
If a small breeze obstructs the course,
It whirls about for want of force,

And in its narrow circle gathers

Nothing but chaff, and straws, and feathers :
The current of a female mind

Stops thus, and turns with every wind;
Thus whirling round, together draws
Fools, fops, and rakes, for chaff and straws+
Hence we conclude, no women's hearts
Are won by virtue, wit, and parts;
Nor are the men of sense to blame
For breasts incapable of flame;

The fault must on the nymphs be placed,
Grown so corrupted in their taste.'

The pleader, having spoke his best,

Had witness ready to attest,

Who fairly could on oath depose,
When questions on the fact arose,
That
every article was true;

Nor further these deponents knew ;-
Therefore he humbly would insist
The bill might be with costs dismiss'd.

The cause appear'd of so much weight, That Venus, from her judgment-seat, Desired them not to talk so loud, Else she must interpose a cloud; For if the heavenly folk should know These pleadings in the courts below, That mortals here disdain to love, She ne'er could show her face above; For gods, their betters, are too wise To value that which men despise.

And then, (said she,) my son and I Must stroll in air, 'twixt earth and sky; Or else, shut out from heaven and earth, Fly to the sea, my place of birth, There live, with daggled mermaids pent, And keep on fish perpetual Lent.'

But since the case appear'd so nice, She thought it best to take advice. The Muses, by their king's permission, Though foes to love, attend the session, And on the right hand took their places In order; on the left, the Graces; To whom she might her doubts propose On all emergencies that rose. The Muses oft were seen to frown, The Graces half-ashamed look down; And 'twas observed there were but few Of either sex among the crew, Whom she or her assessors knew. The goddess soon began to see Things were not ripe for a decree, And said she must consult her books, The lovers' Fletas, Bractons, Cokes.

First to a dapper clerk she beckon'd
To turn to Ovid, book the second;
She then referr'd them to a place
In Virgil (vide Dido's case)

As for Tibullus's reports,

They never pass'd for law in courts;

For Cowley's briefs, and pleas of Waller, Still their authority was smaller.

There was on both sides much to say;
She'd hear the cause another day;
And so she did, and then a third;
She heard it—there she kept her word:
But with rejoinders and replies,

Long bills, and answers stuff'd with lies,
Demur, imparlance, and essoign,
The parties ne'er could issue join:
For sixteen years the cause was spun,
And then stood where it first begun.
Now, gentle Clio! sing or say
What Venus meant by this delay.
The goddess, much perplex'd in mind
To see her empire thus declined,
When first this grand debate arose,
Above her wisdom to compose,
Conceived a project in her head
To work her ends, which, if it sped,
Would show the merits of the cause
Far better than consulting laws.
In a glad hour Lucina's aid
Produced on earth a wondrous maid,
On whom the queen of love was bent
To try a new experiment:

She threw her law-books on the shelf,
And thus debated with herself.