In short, such dire confusion follow'd,
Earth must have been in chaos swallow'd.
Jove stood amazed, and, looking round,
With much ado the cheat he found:
'Twas plain he could no longer hold
The world in any chain but gold,
And to the god of wealth, his brother,
Sent Mercury to get another.
Prometheus on the rock is laid,
Tied with the chain himself had made,
On icy Caucasus to shiver,
Where vultures eat his growing liver.
Ye powers of Grub-street! make me able
Discreetly to apply this fable;
Say who is to be understood
By that old thief Prometheus? Wood?
For Jove it is not hard to guess him :
I mean his Majesty, God bless him.
This thief and blacksmith was so bold,
He strove to steal that chain of gold
Which links the subject to the king,
And change it for a brazen string;
But sure if nothing else must pass
Between the king and us but brass,
Although the chain will never crack,
Yet our devotion may grow slack.
But Jove will soon convert, I hope,
This brazen chain into a rope,
With which Prometheus shall be tied,
And high in air for ever ride,
Where if we find his liver grows
For want of vultures, we have crows.
IN ORDER TO BE ADMITTED TO SPEAK TO HIM WHEN HE WAS DEAF.
DEAR sir! I think 'tis doubly hard
Your ears and doors should both be barr'd.
Can any thing be more unkind?
Must I not see 'cause you are blind?
Methinks a friend at night should cheer you,
A friend that loves to see and hear you.
Why am I robb'd of that delight,
When you can be no loser by 't?
Nay, when 'tis plain (for what is plainer?)
That if you heard, you'd be no gainer:
For sure you are not yet to learn
That hearing is not your concern:
Then be your doors no longer barr'd:
Your business, sir, is to be heard.
THE DEAN'S ANSWER.
THE wise pretend to make it clear
'Tis no great loss to lose an ear:
Why are we then so fond of two,
When, by experience, one would do?
'Tis true, say they, cut off the head,
And there's an end; the man is dead;
Because among all human race
None e'er was known to have a brace;
But confidently they maintain,
That where we find the members twain,
The loss of one is no such trouble,
Since the' other will in strength be double.
The limb surviving, you may swear
Becomes his brother's lawful heir.
Thus, for a trial, let me beg of
Your reverence but to cut one leg off,
And you shall find by this device
The other will be stronger twice,
For every day you shall be gaining
New vigour to the leg remaining:
So when an eye hath lost its brother,
You see the better with the other.
Cut off your hand, and you may do
With the' other hand the work of two;
Because the soul her power contracts,
And on the brother limb reacts.
But yet the point is not so clear in
Another case, the sense of hearing;
For though the place of either ear
Be distant as one head can bear,
Yet Galen most acutely shows you,
(Consult his book De partium usu)
That from each ear, as he observes,
There creep two auditory nerves,
Not to be seen without a glass,
Which near the os petrosum pass,
Thence to the neck, and moving thorough there,
One goes to this, and one to the' other ear,
Which made my grand-dame always stuff her ears
Both right and left, as fellow-sufferers.
You see my learning; but to shorten it,
When my left ear was deaf a fortnight,
To the' other ear I felt it coming on,
And thus I solve this hard phenomenon.
'Tis true, a glass will bring supplies
To weak, or old, or clouded eyes:
Your arms, though both your eyes were lost,
Would guard your nose against a post :
Without your legs, two legs of wood
Are stronger and almost as good:
And as for hands, there have been those
Who, wanting both, have used their toes;
But no contrivance yet appears
To furnish artificial ears.
A QUIET LIFE AND A GOOD NAME.
TO A FRIEND WHO MARRIED A SHREW.
NELL scolded in so loud a din,
That Will durst hardly venture in :
He mark'd the conjugal dispute;
Nell roar'd incessant, Dick sat mute;
But when he saw his friend appear,
Cried bravely, Patience, good my dear!'
At sight of Will she bawl'd no more,
But hurried out, and clapp'd the door.
Why, Dick! the devil's in thy Nell,
(Quoth Will) thy house is worse than hell:
Why, what a peal the jade has rung!
Damn her, why don't you slit her tongue?
For nothing else will make it cease.'-
'Dear Will! I suffer this for peace;
I never quarrel with my wife;
I bear it for a quiet life:
Scripture, you know, exhorts us to it,
Bids us to seek peace and ensue it.'
Will went again to visit Dick,
And entering in the very nick,
He saw virago Nell belabour
With Dick's own staff his peaceful neighbour; Poor Will, who needs must interpose,
Received a brace or two of blows.
But now, to make my story short,
Will drew out Dick to take a quart.
Why, Dick, thy wife has devilish whims
Odsbuds, why don't you break her limbs ?
If she were mine, and had such tricks,
I'd teach her how to handle sticks:
Zounds! I would ship her to Jamaica,
Or truck the carrion for tobacco:
I'd send her far enough away-
'Dear Will! but what would people say?
Lord! I should get so ill a name,
The neighbours round would cry out, Shame!'
Dick suffer'd for his peace and credit,
But who believed him when he said it?
Can he who makes himself a slave
Consult his peace or credit save?
Dick found it by his ill success,
His quiet small, his credit less.
She served him at the usual rate;
She stunn'd, and then she broke his pate.
And, what he thought the hardest case,
The parish jeer'd him to his face;
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