CHAPTER X.

The Pilgrims turn Pic-nic-ians!-Why should not a Pic-nic be a medium for a Pilgrimage? Who's to be there? Characters of all sorts; great and small; learned and unlearned-" extremes meet." The preliminaries for starting adjusted-a slight mistake! DIAMOND for DIANA, and prospect of no dinner; possible probability of the provisions presence, and passionate propensity, "pro" pungency, in a pretty petticoat. A Steamer in hot weather —a broiler, and no sinecure! Makemoney overcome; Sprightly not flourishing; nor Flourish sprightly! The females in a stew for fear of being fried. The punster punless; and the pedant pensive! The children in mischief, and Mrs. Brindle in agony! The landinghurra! here's the provender. THE DINNER-accidents and offences" Keep your hands from picking and stealing " THE STROLL-Fortune telling in Richmond Park

-Makemoney cajoled by a flattering black-eyed gipsey girl. Ah! old gentleman, we've caught you, have we? Ha! ha! ha! What did she say-eh ?—" Such stuff as dreams are made of." Let's have tea-agreed. Oh! dear -dear-I thought so, my dress is spoiled! Never mind, "children will be children." Now for home, "domus amica, domus aptima!"- "Rise gentle moon." A Hero

and Leander in humble life. Boat song-the lover to his mistress: fatal termination! "The course of true love never did run smooth!" Well, here we are—our“ journey's happy ended,"-Good Night. "Bonus Nocte!"

"A FEW days since," said Flourish to Makemoney and Sprightly, "I accepted an invitation to accompany a Pic Nic to Richmond; and as we have not yet made a Pilgrimage to that renowned spot, I anticipated your assent to attend us, and begged your admittance into the circle; a request which was readily granted."

"You are very good," answered Makemoney; "I shall feel much pleasure in accompanying you; there are many associations connected with Richmond, which must interest us; and I do not see why a Pic Nic should not be an agreeable vehicle for our Pilgrimage."

"Who's to be there?" asked Sprightly,

"The invitation was tendered me by the daughters of Old

Brindle, the stationer," replied Flourish; " and of several persons mentioned to me by them, there were but two or three with whom I am acquainted."

"Name! name!" said Sprightly.

Oh, certainly!" laughed Flourish; "the two Miss Brindles, with their ma, of course; Miss Azure, Miss Young, who by the bye is rather ancient, and two or more ladies whose names I know not, terminate the female list; the gentlemen consist of Old Brindle; Pundit, the pedant; Tom Buoyant, the inveterate punster; our worthy selves, and a few others: you will find the party composed of opposites, but as 'extremes meet,' I have little doubt but the whole affair will turn out extremely pleasant."

"When is this trip to take place?" enquired Makemoney; " and by what means are we to reach the place of destination?" "To-morrow, and by the Diana steamer;" was the reply. "Are we each to carry our quantum of provision in the true style of Pic Nic?" questioned Sprightly, "or is there to be a caterer who will provide for all?”

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Why," returned Flourish, " to prevent the recurrence of a circumstance which occurred to a recent Pic Nic party, where every one brought lamb, and no one brought bread, Mrs. Brindle has taken upon herself the task of furnishing provender; and I magine from the manner in which the old lady communicated her intention to me, we have nothing to fear on that point."

Although Flourish knew not the names of all the persons composing the party, we feel it our duty to make the reader acquainted with them; leaving it to the occurrences of the day for an improvement of the acquaintance. First came Mrs. Brin

dle, a good-natured fat old soul, who, in endeavouring to oblige every body, almost failed to please any body; and who had, among many other little peculiarities of character, a considerable degree of nervousness; which was ever worrying and flurrying her. Her extreme good-nature had induced her to have two mischievous little scoundrels, who were the schoolfellows of her dull-headed glutton of a son, to spend a month's vacation with him; and thinking the poor dear boys would be so delighted, and receive so much benefit from this little excursion, she brought them with her, to the annoyance of every one else, and to the misery of herself; her horrid nervousness keeping her in a state of perpetual anxiety, for fear of some accident occurring to

them.

The Miss Brindles were thoughtless, giddy girls; fond of giggling, possessing very little sense, and much frivolity; differing extremely from Miss Azure, who aimed at being admired for her intellect, as much as for her beauty; who wrote poetry in the album of every person she knew possessing one; was never without a book of some awfully learned character upon her person; professed herself a great reader, and prided herself upon

the knowledge of languages, of which she talked, but in which she never conversed; but occasionally interlarded her speeches with a few common-place idiomatical expressions culled from ' exercise books.' She was accompanied by her mamma, who served as an excellent foil to her; for Mrs. Azure's younger days had been humbler days; left an orphan in infancy, and in the workhouse, she had not to boast of either tender nurture, or mental culture; her budding youth having reached riper years, the overseers, with parental solicitude for her future welfare, placed her in the eligible situation of scullion in a public house, where her young ideas were taught

"the scouring of pots,"

of culinary utensils, and how to tend the wants and wishes of the unwashed artificers' who honoured the tap-room with their presence; it was here she imbibed their manners and language; and as 6 the cask retains the flavour of the first liquor which impregnated it,' so Mrs. Azure still retained the speech of her juvenile days; although the constant rub in later times against a higher grade of society, had removed a portion of the rust which had incrusted her manners. Her buxom beauty and sprightliness attracted the attention of Mr. Azure, who was then light porter in a druggist's warehouse; and as he found favour in her sight,' she acceded to an offer of marriage which he made her, became bone of his bone, and flesh of his flesh,' and bid adieu to heavy wet' and' glistering the pewter' (as she termed polishing the pots,) for ever; for, by a series of circumstances which were not uncommon in the city, he became master of the concern in which he had entered as light porter.

Mr. and Mrs. Azure, aware of the deficiencies in their own education, had been extravagant in that which they had bestowed upon their daughter; an exemplification of which, as Theodore Hook says, the reader may yet live to see.'

Miss Young, who had' gazed upon the world' a trifle more than fifty years, was a lady who laboured with infinite industry to be mistaken for a Miss who had outlived but twenty summers, but unfortunately for her talents thus misplaced, people were rarely so mistaken. She stated herself to be a lineal de scendant of the renowned Dr. Young; all her day talk was of his' Night Thoughts;' and she was for ever quoting from the theological works of various divines, from Jeremy Taylor to Hartwell Horne.

Mrs. Bodger and her daughter concluded the ladies; Mrs. Bodger was an early friend and associate of Mrs. Azure, and had passed through life under similar circumstances; she had been a servant of all work, and was now the widow of a retired tallow merchant. Like Mrs. Azure, she still spoke the language of her youth;' and the ' ope hof henjoying a leetle fresh hair' had induced her to go a gipseyin;' her daughter was tinctured

with a little of the blue of her bosom friend, Miss Azure; but her chief study was satire; she levelled her shafts at every one, and every thing; whether well, or ill-timed was a matter of no moment to her; she forgot that

Satire should like a polish'd razor keen,

Wound with a touch that's scarcely felt or seen ;

and as there was little, or no real wit, in her pungent remarks, she but too often made herself appear very rude, and very ridiculous.

The gentlemen need but little description; Mr. Brindle was an enthusiast in the viewing of nature; he never went a long, or short journey; a sea, or land voyage; took a trip out of town, or ascended the top of his house without his telescope: numberless were the accidents this propensity had entailed upon him; but vain were their' effects in curing him; he still, upon every occasion, walked with his telescope to his eye, shifting the focus as he neared, or retired from any object, and as he usually carried a pocket one when he perambulated the streets, as he said, 'To see the time by the farthest church clock,' he frequently descended open cellars, areas, coal gratings, &c. &c., without any previous intention, more speedily than was ever agreeable; and measured his length upon the ground, against his desire, most constantly, and in a manner he thought remarkable.

Mr. Azure was fond of monosyllables and gin; the former he always indulged in, the latter, at nights, and in both the latter cases he thought it indispensable.

I

Mr. Pundit was a pedant, who deemed the ancients the only authors a man should read; his language was precise, and his manners bore a resemblance to his language; yet, on all occasions like the present, he wished to be present; he felt it 'a relief,' he observed, to unbend when his mind had been prolapsed in the profluent study of abstruse, and obscure authors.'

Tom Buoyant was a confirmed punster, which is saying everything for him; he was attended by his two friends, Raleigh Walter,, a desperate smoker, and Sam Smerke, or, as he was nick-named, Smiling Smerke, because he was always on the broad grin.

Last, and least, were the two schoolfellows of Master Brindle, who bore the family name of Budd-Bob and Joe Budd, and precious buds' they were, only happy when in mischief, and decidedly opposite in every point of character to Master Swallow Brindle, who loved nothing so well as eating; and must have been the very boy who wrote from school to his mother, the most expressive letter ever penned—

These sweet youths completed the party.

July is known to be rather a warm month, from a slight hint

conveyed in the Almanack-ecce signum-' dog days;' and if ever England experienced a day unusually hot,' it was that on which our Pilgrims accompanied the Pic-nic-ians to Richmond; not a breath of air was stirring, the sky over head was a faint blue, which gradually faded into a pale fewn colour, as it approached the horizon, not a cloud broke

"Light shade for the leaves when laid

In their noon day dreams,'

Terrible were its effects on Mrs. Brindle-poor old soul, it had been almost an Herculean task to her to get the eatables ready in time, but she succeeded-got them packed and sent on board the steamer the night previous to starting, taking upon herself the task of making and cooking all the tarts, pastry, and everything in that way; she had given herself a good hard day's work over a large kitchen fire, which, in July, is no joke, and is in itself enough to knock up even a person accustomed to it; but Mrs. Brindle had not only to attend to the puffs and tarts, but also to the young gentlemen, who had forced their way in, and nothing could induce the dears to quit the kitchen while the sweets were about; ever and anon they were seeking what they might devour,' and having outraged every indulgence granted them, had been, ultimately, forcibly expelled; as might be expected, the contention with the youthful hopefuls,' the heat of the weather, the fire, and the anxiety of the well-turning out of her cookery, had completely knocked her up, and instead of keeping her promise to be at the party, she ought to have kept her bed; but, good natured creature, she imagined that the party would receive a great damper by her absence, and therefore, roused herself in the best manner she was able. The party assembled at her house by nine o'clock, and after two or three little stoppages, caused by 'forgetfulness,' got on board the Diana, at ten minutes to ten, which was the appointed hour for starting. As Mrs. Brindle had prided herself upon the correctness with which all the joints and their concomitants-all the pastry, the dessert, the wines, and liquors-had been packed; and, as her man servant had saib, safely delivered on board the steamer, she thought to make assurance doubly sure by seeing that they were on board she, therefore, enquired respecting them of the captain, who referred her to the steward, who knew nothing about them; consequently, they could not be on board; for if they had been they would have been consigned to his care. Brindle grew alarmed;-luckily, she had brought the manservant who had taken them the night previous to wait upon them: she immediately sought him out: she found him.

Mrs.

"You took those hampers I sent you with last night safe to the steam-office?"

"Yes."