unripe plums or a cucumber, just before midnight others must take a certain portion of that part of a calf, which is used for what are vulgarly called veal-cutlets: others, again, find the necessary charm in an omelet or an olio. For our part, we are so well acquainted with the different ceremonies, that, without any preparation, we have only to lie in a particular posture, and the spirit is sure to make its appearance. The figures under which it presents itself are various, but it generally takes its position upon the breast in a shape altogether indescribable, and is accompanied with circumstances of alarm and obscurity, not a little resembling those which the philosophers underwent on their initiation into the Eleusinian and other mysteries. The first sensations you experience are those of a great oppression and inability to move; these you endeavour to resist, but after an instant resign yourself to their control, or rather flatter yourself you will do so, for the sensation becomes so painful, that in a moment you struggle into another effort, and if in this effort you happen to move yourself and cry out, the spirit is sure to be gone, for it detests a noise as heartily as a monk of La Trappe, a traveller in the Alps, or a thief. Could an intemperate person in this situation be but philosopher enough to give himself up to the spirit's influence for a few minutes, he would see his visitant to great advantage, and gather as much knowledge at once as would serve him instead of a thousand short visits, and make him a good liver for months to come.

It was by this method some time ago, that we not only obtained a full view of the spirit, but gradually gathering strength from sufferance, as those who are initiated into any great wisdom must, contrived to enter into conversation with it. The substance of our dialogue we hereby present to the reader; for it is a mistaken notion of the pretenders to the Cabala, that to reveal the secrets on these occasions is to do harm, and incur the displeasure of our spiritual acquaintances. All the harm is in not understanding the secrets properly, and explaining them for the benefit of mankind; and on this head we have an objection to make to that ancient and industrious order of Illuminati the Freemasons, who, though they hold with our familiar that eating suppers is one of the high roads to wisdom, differ with him in confining their knowledge to such persons as can purchase it.

We had returned at a late hour from the representation of a new comedy, and after eating a sleepy and not very great supper, reclined ourself on the sofa in a half-sitting posture, and taken up a little Horace to see if we could keep our eyes open with a writer so full of contrast to what we had been hearing. We happened to pitch upon that Ode, At 0 Deorum quisquis, &c., describing an ancient witches'

meeting, and fell into an obscure kind of reverie upon the identity of popular superstitions in different ages and nations. The comic dramatist, however, had been too much for us; the weather, which had been warm, but was inclining to grow cloudy, conspired with our heaviness, and the only sounds to be heard, were the ticking of a small clock in the room, and the fitful sighs of the wind as it rose without,

The moaning herald of a weeping sky.

By degrees our eyes closed, the hand with the book dropped one way, and the head dropped back the other upon a corner of the sofa.

When you are in a state the least adapted to bodily perception, it is well known that you are in the precise state for spiritual. We had not been settled, we suppose, for more than a quarter of an hour, when the lid of a vealpie, which we had lately attacked, began swelling up and down with an extraordinary convulsion, and we plainly perceived a little figure rising from beneath it, which grew larger and larger as it ascended, and then advanced with great solemnity towards us over the dishes. This phenomenon,which we thought we had seen often before, but could not distinctly remember how or where, was about two feet high, six inches of which, at least, went to the composition of its head. Between its jaws and shoulders there was no separation whatever, so that its face, which was very broad and pale, came immediately on its bosom, where it quivered without ceasing in a very alarming manner, being, it seems, of a paralytic sensibility like blanc-manger. The fearfulness of this aspect was increased by two staring and intent eyes, a nose turned up, but large, and a pair of thick lips turned despondingly down at the corners. Its hair, which stuck about its ears like the quills of a porcupine, was partly concealed by a bolster rolled into a turban, and decorated with duck's feathers. The body was dressed in a kind of armour, of a substance resembling what is called crackling, and girded with a belt curiously studded with Spanish olives, in the middle of which, instead of pistols, were stuck two small bottles containing a fiery liquor. On its shoulders were wings shaped like the bat's, but much larger; its legs terminated in large feet of lead; and in its hands, which were of the same metal, and enormously disproportioned, it bore a Turkish bowstring.

At sight of this formidable apparition, we felt an indescribable and oppressive sensation, which by no means decreased, as it came nearer and nearer, staring and shaking its face at us, and making as many ineffable grimaces as Munden in a farce. It was in vain, however, we attempted to move; we felt, all the time, like a leaden statue, or like Gulliver pinned to the ground by the Lilliputians; and was

wondering how our sufferings would terminate, when the phantom, by a spring off the table, pitched himself with all his weight upon our breast, and we thought began fixing his terrible bowstring. At this, as I could make no opposition, we determined at least to cry out as lustily as possible, and were beginning to make the effort, when the spirit motioned us to be quiet, and, retreating a little from our throat, said, in a low suffocating tone of voice, "Wilt thou never be philosopher enough to leave off sacrificing unto calf's flesh?"

"In the name of the Great Solomon's ring," we ejaculated," what art thou ?"

"My name," replied the being, a little angrily, "which thou wast unwittingly going to call out, is Mnpvtglnau-auw-auww, and I am Prince of the Night-mares."

Ah, my Lord," returned we, "you will pardon our want of recollection, but we had never seen you in your full dress before, and your presence is not very composing to the spirits. Doubtless this is the habit in which you appeared with the other genii at the levee of the mighty Solomon."

"A fig for the mighty Solomon !" said the spirit, good-humouredly; "this is the cant of the Cabalists, who pretend to know so much about us. I assure you, Solomon trembled

much more at me than I did at him. I found it necessary, notwithstanding all his wisdom, to be continually giving him advice; and many were the quarrels I had on his account with Peor, the Dæmon of Sensuality, and a female devil named Ashtoreth."

"The world, my Prince," returned we, "do not give you credit for so much benevolence." "No," quoth the vision, "the world are never just to their best advisers. My figure, it is true, is not the most prepossessing, and my manner of teaching is less so; but I am nevertheless a benevolent spirit, and would do good to the most ungrateful of your fellow-creatures. This very night, between the hours of ten and one, I have been giving lessons to no less than twelve priests and twenty-one citizens. The studious I attend somewhat later, and the people of fashion towards morning.-But as you seem inclined at last to make a proper use of my instructions, I will recount you some of my adventures, if you please, that you may relate them to your countrymen, and teach them to appreciate the trouble I have with them."

"You are really obliging," said we, " and we should be all attention, would you do us the favour to sit a little more lightly, for each of your fingers appears heavier than a porter's load; and, to say the truth, the very sight of that bowstring almost throttles us."

LVI. THE SUBJECT CONTINUED. AT these words the spectre gave a smile, which we can compare to nothing but the effect of vinegar on a death's-head. However, he rose up, though very slowly, and we once more breathed with transport, like a person dropping into his chair after a long journey. He then seated himself with much dignity on the pillow at the other end of the sofa, and thus resumed the discourse :-"I have been among mankind, ever since the existence of cooks and bad consciences, and my office is two-fold, to give advice to the well-disposed, and to inflict punishment on the ill. The spirits over which I preside are of that class called by the ancients Incubi; but it was falsely supposed that we were fond of your handsome girls, as the Rosicrucians maintain, for it is our business to suppress, not encourage the passions, as you may guess by my appearance."

"Pardon us," interrupted we, "but the poets and painters represent your Highness as riding about on horseback; some of them even make you the horse itself, and it is thus that we have been taught to account for the term Night-mare."

66

Here the phantom gave another smile, which made us feel sympathetically about the mouth as though one of our teeth was being drawn. A pretty jest," said he: "as if a spiritual being had need of a horse to carry him! The general name of my species in this country is of Saxon origin; the Saxons, uniting as they did the two natures of Britons and Germans, ate and drank with a vengeance; of course they knew me very well, and being continually visited by me in all my magnificence, called me, by way of eminence, the Night Mara, or Spirit of Night. As to the poets and painters, I do not know enough of them to be well acquainted with their misrepresentations of me; though all of those gentlemen who could afford it have been pretty intimate with me. The moralizing Epicurean, whom you have in your hand there, I knew very well. Very good things he wrote, to be sure, about temperance and lettuces; but he ate quite as good at Mecænas' table. You may see the delicate state of his faculties by the noise he makes about a little garlick. There was Congreve, too, who dined every day with a duchess, and had the gout: I visited him often enough, and once wreaked on him a pretty set of tortures under the figure of one Jeremy Collier. My Lord Rochester, who might have displayed so true a fancy of his own without my assistance, had scarcely a single idea with which I did not supply him, for five years together, during which time, you know, he confessed himself to have been in a state of intoxication. But I am sorry to say, that I have had no small trouble with some of your poetical moralists,

as well as men of pleasure. Something, I confess, must be allowed to Pope, whose constitution disputed with him every hour's enjoyment; but an invalid so fond of good things might have spared the citizens and clergy a little. It must be owned, also, that the good temper he really possessed did much honour to his philosophy; but it would have been greater, could he have denied himself that silver saucepan. It seduced him into a hundred miseries. One night, in particular, I remember, after he had made a very sharp attack on Addison and a dish of lampreys, he was terribly used by my spirits, who appeared to him in the shapes of so many flying pamphlets: he awoke in great horror, crying out with a ghastly smile, like a man who pretends to go easily through a laborious wager, 'These things are my diversion.' As to your painters, I have known still less of them, though I am acquainted with one now living, to whom I once sat at midnight for my portrait, and the likeness is allowed by all of us to be excellent." "Well," interrupted we, "but it is not at all like you in your present aspect."

"No," replied the phantom, "it is my poetical look. I have all sorts of looks and shapes, civic, political, and poetical. It is by particular favour that I appear to you as I really am; but as you have not seen many of my shapes, I will, if you please, give you a sample of some of my best."

"Oh, by no means," said we, somewhat hastily; "we can imagine quite enough from your descriptions. The philosophers certainly illused you when they represented you as a seducer."

"The false philosophers did," replied the spectre ; "the real philosophers knew me better. It was at my instance that Pythagoras forbade the eating of beans; Plato owed some of his schemes to my hints, though I confess not his best; and I also knew Socrates very well from my intimacy with Alcibiades, but the familiar that attended him was of a much higher order than myself, and rendered my services unnecessary. However, my veneration for that illustrious man was so great, that on the night when he died, I revenged him finely on his two principal enemies. People talk of the flourishing state of vice, and the happiness which guilty people sometimes enjoy in contrast with the virtuous; but they know nothing of what they talk. You should have seen Alexander in bed after one of his triumphant feasts, or Domitian or Heliogabalus after a common supper, and you would have seen who was the true monarch, the master of millions, or the master of himself. The Prince retired perhaps amidst lights, garlands, and perfumes, with the pomp of music, and through a host of bowing heads: everything he saw and touched reminded him of empire; his bed was of the costliest furniture, and he reposed by the side

of beauty. Reposed, did I say? As well might you stretch a man on a gilded rack, and fan him into forgetfulness. No sooner had he obtained a little slumber, but myself and other spirits revenged the crimes of the day; in a few minutes the convulsive snatches of his hands and features announce the rising agitation; his face blackens and swells; his clenched hands grasp the drapery about him; he tries to turn, but cannot, for a hundred horrors, the least of which is of death, crowd on him and wither his faculties; till at last, by an effort of despair, he wakes with a fearful outcry, and springs from the bed, pale, trembling, and aghast, afraid of the very assistance he would call, and terrified at the consciousness of himself. Such are the men before whom millions of you rational creatures consent to tremble." "You talk like an orator," said we; "but surely every ambitious prince has not horrors like these, for every one is neither so luxurious as Alexander, nor so timid and profligate as a Domitian or Heliogabalus. Conquerors, one would think, are generally too full of business to have leisure for consciences and night-mares."

They

"Why, a great deal may be done," answered the spirit, "against horrors of any kind by mere dint of industry. But too much business, especially of a nature that keeps passion on the stretch, will sometimes perform the office of indolence and luxury, and turn revengefully upon the mind. To this were owing, in great measure, the epilepsies of Cæsar and Mohammed. With the faces of most of the Roman Emperors I am as familiar as an antiquary, particularly from Tiberius down to Caligula ; and again from Constantine downwards. But if I punished the degenerate Romans, I nevertheless punished their enemies too. were not aware, when scourged by Attila, what nights their tormentor passed. Luckily for justice, he brought from Germany not only fire and sword, but a true German appetite. I know not a single conqueror of modern times who equalled him in horror of dreaming, unless it was a little, spare, aguey, peevish, supper-eating fellow, whom you call Frederick the Great. Those exquisite ragouts, the enjoyment of which added new relish to the sarcasms the latter dealt about him with a royalty so unanswerable, sufficiently revenged the sufferers for their submission. Nevertheless, he dealt by his dishes as some men do by their mistresses: he loved them the more they tormented him. Poor Trenck, with his bread and water in the dungeon of Magdeburg, enjoyed a repose fifty times more serene than the royal philosopher in his palace of Sans Souci, or Without Care. Even on the approach of death, this great conqueror this warrior full of courage and sage speculation-could not resist the customary pepper and saucepiquante, though he knew he should inevitably

see me at night, armed with all his sins, and turning his bed into a nest of monsters."

"Heaven be praised," cried we, "that he had a taste so retributive! The people under arbitrary governments must needs have a respect for the dishes at court. We now perceive, more than ever, the little insight we have into the uses of things. Formerly one might have imagined that eating and drinking had no use but the vulgar one of sustaining life; but it is manifest that they save the law a great deal of trouble, and the writers of cookery-books can be considered in no other light than as expounders of a criminal code. Really, we shall hereafter approach a dish of turtle with becoming awe, and already begin to look upon a ragout as something very equitable and inflexible."

"You do justice," observed the spirit, "to those eminent dishes, and in the only proper way. People who sit down to a feast with their joyous darting of eyes and rubbing of hands, would have very different sensations, did they know what they were about to attack. You must know, that the souls of tormented animals survive after death, and become instruments of punishment for mankind. Most of these are under my jurisdiction, and form great part of the monstrous shapes that haunt the slumbers of the intemperate. Fish crimped alive, lobsters boiled alive, and pigs whipped to death, become the most active and formidable spirits; and if the object of their vengeance take too many precautions to drown his senses when asleep, there is the subtle and fell Gout waiting to torment his advanced years,- -a spirit partaking of the double nature of the Night-mare and Salamander, and more terrible than any one of us, inasmuch as he makes his attacks by day as well as by night."

"We shudder to think," interrupted we, 66 even of the monstrous combinations which have disturbed our own rest, and formed so horrible a contrast to the gaiety of a social supper." "Oh, as for that matter," said the phantom, in a careless tone, "you know nothing of the horrors of a glutton, or a nefarious debauchee. Suffocation with bolsters, heaping of rocks upon the chest, buryings alive, and strugglings to breathe without a mouth, are among their common-place sufferings. The dying glutton in La Fontaine never was so reasonable, as when he desired to have the remainder of his fish. He was afraid that if he did not immediately go off, he might have a nap before he died, which would have been a thousand times worse than death. Had Apicius, Ciacco the Florentine, Dartineuf, or Vitellius, been able and inclined to paint what they had seen, Callot would have been a mere Cipriani to them. I could produce you a jolly fellow, a corpulent nobleman, from the next hotel, the very counterpart of the glutton in Rubens's Fall of the Damned, who could bring

together a more hideous combination of fancies than are to be found in Milton's Hell. He is not without information, and a disposition naturally good; but a long series of bad habits have made him what they call a man of pleasure, that is to say, he takes all sorts of pains to get a little enjoyment which shall produce him a world of misery. One of his passions, which he will not resist, is for a particular dish, pungent, savoury, and multifarious, which sends him almost every night into Tartarus. At this minute, the spectres of the suppertable are busy with him, and Dante himself could not have worked up a greater horror for the punishment of vice than the one he is undergoing. He fancies that though he is himself, he is nevertheless four different beings at once, of the most odious and contradictory natures,

that his own indescribable feelings are fighting bodily and maliciously with each other,and that there is no chance left him, either for escape, forgetfulness, or cessation." "Gracious powers!" cried we; this punishment for a dish?"

"what, all

"You do not recollect," answered the spirit, "what an abuse such excesses are of the divine gift of reason, and how they distort the best tendencies of human nature. The whole end of existence is perverted by not taking proper care of the body. This man will rise to-morrow morning, pallid, nervous, and sullen; his feelings must be reinforced with a dram to bear the ensuing afternoon; and I foresee, that the ill-temper arising from his debauch will lead him into a very serious piece of injustice against his neighbour. To the same cause may be traced fifty of the common disquietudes of life, its caprices and irritabilities. To-night a poor fellow is fretful because his supper was not rich enough, but tomorrow night he will be in torture because it was too rich. A hysterical lady shall flatter herself she is sentimentally miserable, when most likely her fine feelings are to be deduced, not from sentiment, but a surfeit. Your Edinburgh wits thought they had laid down a very droll impossibility, when they talked of cutting a man's throat with a pound of pickled salmon; whereas much less dishes have performed as wonderful exploits. I have known a hard egg to fill a household with dismay for days together; a cucumber has disinherited an only son; and a whole province has incurred the royal anger of its master at the instigation of a set of woodcocks."

"It is a thousand pities," said we, "that history, instead of habituating us to love 'the pomp and circumstance' of bad passions, cannot trace the actions of men to their real

sources."

"Well, well," said the spirit, "now that you are getting grave on the subject, I think I may bid you adieu. Your nation has produced excellent philosophers, who were not the less