Imatges de pàgina
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IX.

Ah! dost thou not envy the brave col'nel Chartres,

Condemn'd for thy crime at threescore and ten?

To hang him all England would lend hm their garters;

Yet he lives, and is ready to ravish again. Then throttle thyself with an ell of ftrong

tape,

For thou haft not a groat to atone for a

rape.

X.

The dean he was vex'd that his whores were fo willing:

He long'd for a girl that would struggle and fquall;

He ravish'd her fairly, and fav'd a good fhilling;

But here was to pay the devil and all. His trouble and forrows now come in a

heap,

And hang'd he must be for committing a

ларе.

XI.

If maidens are ravish'd, it is their own choice:

Why are they fo wilful to struggle with

men!

If they would but lie quiet, and stifle their voice,

No devil nor dean could ravish'em then. Nor would there be need of a strong hemp

en cape

Ty'd round the dean's neck for commiting a rape.

XII.

Our church and our ftate dear England maintains,

For which all true proteftant hearts fhould be glad:

She fends us our bifhops and judges and deans;

And better would give us, if better she

had.

But, lord, how the rabble will stare and

will gape,

When the good English dean is hang'd up for a rape!

The

The LADY's Dreffing-Room.

Written in the Year 1730.

FIVE hours, (and who can do it less in?)

By haughty Celia spent in dreffing;
The goddess from her chamber iffues,
Array'd in lace, brocades and tiffues.
Strephon, who found the room was void;
And Betty otherwise employ'd,
Stole in, and took a strict survey
Of all the litter as it lay:

Whereof, to make the matter clear,
An inventory follows here.

And first, a dirty fmock appear'd,
Beneath the arm-pits well befmear'd;
Strephon, the rogue, difplay'd it wide,
And turn it round on ev'ry fide:

*No charge has been more frequently brought against the dean, or indeed more generally admitted, than that of coarfe indelicacy, of which this poem is always produced as an inftance: here then it is but justice to remark, that when ever he offends against delicacy he teaches it; he ftimulates the mind to fenfibility, to correct the faults of habitual negligence; as phyficiVOL. VII.

ans to cure a lethargy have recourfe to a blifter; and though it may reasonably be fuppofed, that few English ladies leave fuch a dreffingroom as Calia's, yet many may have given fufficient caufe for reminding them that, very foon after defire has been gratified, the utmost delicacy becomes neceflary to prevent difguft. See a defence of this poem in Vol. XII. M

In

In fuch a cafe few words are beft,
And Strephon bids us guess the reft;
But fwears, how damnably the men lie
In calling Celia fweet and cleanly.

Now liften, while he next produces The various combs for various ufes; with dirt fo closely fixt,

Fill'd up

No brush cou'd force a way betwixt;
A paste of composition rare,

Sweat, dandriff, powder, lead, and hair.
A forehead-cloth with oil upon't

To smooth the wrinkles on her front:
Here allum-flower, to ftop the fteams
Exhal'd from four unfav'ry ftreams;
There night-gloves made of Tripley's hide,
Bequeath'd by Tripfey when fhe died;
With puppy water, beauty's help,
Diftill'd from Tripley's darling whelp.
Here galley-pots and vials plac'd,
Some fill'd with washes, fome with paste;
Some with pomatums, paints, and flops,
And ointments good for fcabby chops.
Hard by a filthy bafon ftands,

Foul'd with the fcowring of her hands;
The bafon takes whatever comes,
The fcrapings from her teeth and gums,

A nafty

A nafty compound of all hues,
For here the fpits, and here fhe fpues.

But oh! it turn'd poor Strephon's bowels,
When he beheld and fmelt the towels,
Begumm'd, bematter'd, and beflim'd,
With dirt, and fweat, and ear-wax grim'd,
No object Strephon's eye escapes;
Here petticoats in frowzy heaps;
Nor be the handkerchiefs forgot,
All varnish'd o'er with fnuff and fnot.
The ftockings why fhould I expofe,
Stain'd with the moisture of her toes;
Or greafy coifs, or pinners reeking,
Which Calia flept at least a week in?
A pair of tweezers next he found,
To pluck her brows in arches round;
Or hairs that fink the forehead low,
Or on her chin like briftles grow.

The virtues we must not let país
Of Calia's magnifying glass;
When frighted Strephon caft his eye on't,
It fhew'd the visage of a giant:

A glass that can to fight disclose
The fmalleft worm in Calia's nofe,
And faithfully direct her nail
To squeeze it out from head to tail;

M. 2

For,

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