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Could we place him in a station
To destroy the old foundation.
True indeed, I should be gladder,
Could he learn to mount a ladder:
May he at his latter end
Mount alive, and dead descend
In him tell me which prevail,
Female vices most, or male?
What produc'd him, can you tell ?
Human race, or imps of bell ?
Written in the Year 1730. .
UEEN of wit and beauty, Betty !
Never may the Muse forget ye:
How thy face charms ev'ry shepherd,
Spotted over like a leopard;
And, thy freckled neck display'd,
Envy breeds in ev'ry maid,
Like a fly-blown cake of tallow,
Or on parchment ink turn'd yellow,
Or a tawny speckled pippin
Shriveld with a winter's keeping.
And, thy beauty thus dispatch’d,
Let me praise thy wit unmatch'd.
Sets of phrases, cut and dry,
Evermore thy tongue supply.
And thy memory is loaded
With old scraps from plays exploded:
Stockt with repartees and jokes,
Suited to all Christian folks :
Shreds of wit, and senseless rhymes,
Blunder'd out a thousand times.
Nor wilt thou of gifts be sparing,
Which can ne'er be worse for wearing,
Picking wit among collegians,
In the play-house upper regions ;
Where, in eighteen-penny gallery,
Irish nymphs learn Irish raillery:
But thy merit is thy failing,
And thy raillery is railing.
Thus with talents well endu'd
To be fcurrilous and rude;
When you pertly raise your snout,
Fleer, and gibe, and laugh, and flout:
This among Hibernian affes
For sheer wit and humour passes.
Thus indulgent Chloe bit
Swears you have a world of wit.
To an agreeable young Lady, but extremely
Written in the Year 1730.
EATH went upon a folemn day
At Pluto's hall his court to pay:
The phantom, having humbly kist
His grisly monarch's sooty fift,
Presented him the weekly bills
Of doctors, fevers, plagues, and pills.
Pluto, observing since the peace
The burial article decrease,
And' vext to see affairs miscarry,
Declar'd in council, death must marry:
Vow'd he no longer could support
Old batchelors about his court :
The interest of his realm bad need
That death should get a numerous breed;
Young deathlings, who, by practice made
Proficient in their father's trade,
With colonies might stock around
His large dominions under ground.
A consult of coquets below
Was called to rig him out a beau:
From her own head Megæra takes
A periwig of twisted snakes;
Which in the nicest fashion curl'd
(Like * toupets of this upper world),
With flour of sulphur powder'd well,
That graceful on his shoulders fell,
An adder of the sable kind
In line direct hung down behind.
The owl, the raven, and the bat,
Club'd for a feather to his hat ;
His coat, an us’rer's velvet pall,
Bequeath'd to Pluto, corpse and all.
But, lothi his person to expose
Bare, like a carcase pickt by crows,
A lawyer o'er his hands and face
Stuck artfully a parchment case.
No new-fluxt rake shew'd fairer skin;
Nor Phyllis after lying in.
With snuff was filld his ebon box
Of shin-bones rotted by the pox.
Nine spirits of blaspheming fops
With aconite anoint his chops;
And give him words of dreadful sounds,
G-dd--n his blood, and b--d and w--ds.
Thus furnish'd out, he sent his train To take a house in Warwick-lane : The faculty, his humble friends, A complimental message sends : Their president in scarlet gown Harangu'd, and welcom'd him to town.
But death had bus’ness to dispatch; His mind was running on his match. And, hearing much of Daphne's fame, His majesty of terrors came, Fine as a col’nel of the guards, To visit where she sat at cards : She, as he came into the room, Thought him Adonis in his bloom. And now her heart with pleasure jumps ; She scarce remembers what is trumps; For such a shape of skin and bone Was never seen except her own : Charm'd with his eyes and chin and snout, Her pocket-glass drew flily out; And grew enamour'd with her phiz, As just the counterpart of his. She darted many a private glance, And freely made the first advance. Was of her beauty grown so vain, She doubted not to win the fwain,