For as he view'd his perfon round,
Mere mortal flefh was all he found:
His hand, his neck, his mouth, and feet
Were duly wash'd to keep them fweet
(With other parts that shall be nameless,
The ladies elfe might think me fhameless).
The weather and his love were hot;
And should he struggle I know what—
Why let it go, if I must tell it—
He'll fweat, and then the nymph may fmell it.
While fhe, a goddess dy'd in grain,
Was unfufceptible of stain ;
And, Venus-like, her fragrant skin
Exhal'd ambrofia from within.
Can fuch a deity endure
A mortal human touch impure?
How did the humbled fwain deteft
His prickly beard, and hairy breaft!
His night-cap border'd round with lace
Could give no foftness to his face.
Yet if the goddefs could be kind, What endless raptures must he find! And goddeffes have now and then Come down to vifit mortal men:
To vifit and to court them too :
A certain goddess, God knows who
(As in a book he heard it read),
Took col'nel Peleus to her bed.
But what if he fhould lofe his life
Ey vent'ring on his heavenly wife?
For Strephon could remember well,
That once he heard a school-boy tell,
How Semele of mortal race
Ry thunder died in Jove's embrace :
And what if daring Strephon dies
By lightning fhot from Chloe's
eyes ?
While thefe reflexions fill'd his head, The bride was put in form to bed: He follow'd, ftript, and in he crept, But awfully his distance kept.
Now ponder well, ye parents dear; Forbid your daughters guzzling beer; And make them every afternoon Forbear their tea, or drink it foon': That ere to bed they venture up, They may discharge it ev'ry fup: If not, they must in evil plight Be often forc'd to rife at night. Keep them to wholefome food confin'd, Nor let them tafte what causes wind
('Tis this the fage of Samos means,
Forbidding his difciples beans).
O! think what evils muft enfue;
Mifs Moll the jade will burn it blue :
And when the once has got the art,
She cannot help it for her heart;
But out it flies, ev'n when the meets
Her bridegroom in the wedding-fheets.
+ Carminative and ‡ diuretic
Will damp all paffion fympathetic:
And love fuch nicety requires,
One blaft will put out all his fires.
Since husbands get behind the scene,
The wife should study to be clean;
Nor give the smallest room to guess
The time when wants of nature press;
But after marriage practise more
Decorum than fhe did before ;
To keep her spouse deluded ftill,
And make him fancy what the will.
In bed we left the married pair: 'Tis time to fhew how things went there.
• A well known precept of Pythagoras, not to eat beans; which has beenvariously interpreted, and is fuppofed to conP 2
tain fome allegorical meaning, + Medicines to break wind. Medicines to provoke
Strephon, who had been often told
That Fortune ftill affifts the bold,
Refolv'd to make the firft attack;
But Chloe drove him fiercely back.
How could a nymph fo chafte as Chloe,
With conftitution cold and fnowy,
Permit a brutish man to touch her?
Ev'n lambs by instinct fly the butcher.
Refiftance on the wedding-night
Is what our maidens claim by right:
And Chloe 'tis by all agreed,
Was maid in thought, and word, and deed.
Yet fome affign a different reason;
That Strephon chofe no proper season.
Say, fair ones, muft I make a pause,
Or freely tell the secret caufe?
Twelve cups of tea (with grief I fpeak)
Had now constrain'd the nymph to leak.
This point muft needs be fettled first :
The bride muft either void or burft.
Then fee the dire effect of peafe,
Think what can give the colick ease.
The nymph oppreft before, behind,
As fhips are tofs'd by waves and wind,
Steals out her hand, by nature led,
And brings a veffel into bed:
Fair utenfil, as fmooth and white
As Chloe's fkin, almost as bright.
Strephon, who heard the fuming rill As from a moffy cliff distil,
Cry'd out, Ye Gods! what found is this? Can Chloe, heavenly Chloe, —?
But when he smelt a noisome steam, Which oft attends that luke-warm ftream (Salerno § both together joins
As fov'reign med'cines for the loins);
And though contriv'd, we may fuppofe,
To flip his ears, yet ftruck his nofe:
He found her while the fcent increas'd
As mortal as himself at least.
But foon with like occafions preft,
He boldly fent his hand in quest
(Infpir'd with courage from his bride)
To reach the pot on t'other fide :
And, as he fill'd the reeking vase,
Let fly a roufer in her face,
The little Cupids hovering round (As pictures prove), with garlands crown'd,
Vide Schol. Salern. Rules of health, written by the school of Salernum.
Mingere cum bumbis. res eft faluberrima lumbis.
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