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vulgar tongue in the neighbourhood of Piccadilly Circus by that confidential confraternity known as the 'boys.' In fact, I realized that I was being 'taken on' by a French 'lumberer.' After telling me all about himself-his income, prospects, and so forth-it was not unnatural that he should invite a similar avowal from me. I told him accordingly that I was an electrician, that I was employed by a London firm, who paid me 400 francs a month, and a commission on all orders I obtained; that the system in which I was interested was the Système Siemens-pour la sonnerie et surtout— l'éclairage'; that I was in Paris partly on business, but mainly on pleasure, bound, having recently been paid a matter of 5,000 francs commission on an order I had obtained; that I found foreigners did not even nowadays understand the English cheque system, and therefore I was carrying my £200 in loose sovereigns. Monsieur de Bermont's mouth obviously watered. He gave a gulp. My story seemed too good to be true, as indeed it

was.

'Will you permit me to offer you a bottle of the wine of Champagne?' he inquired, with a hungry glitter in his eye.

'Very willingly,' I replied. And he proceeded to order 'une bouteille de "G. H." (The unfortunate foreigner is obliged to confine his designation of

'G. H. Mumm' to these initials, as M UM M is obviously a word that none but an Englishman can even attempt to pronounce.) I was curious to see how he would approach the question of cards, which I knew would presently have to be posed.

'Does monsieur know the South of France?' he presently inquired.

'A little,' I replied. I know Marseille and Toulon and Grasse.'

'Then perhaps monsieur has been so far as Monte Carlo?' he asked eagerly.

'Merely to admire the bay and the situation of the town,' I answered.

'Then monsieur does not care for play?' he asked, rather anxiously.

There is no

'Not at public tables,' I said. emotion in playing what is practically a machine. My mania is for private gambling-between friends.'

Monsieur de Bermont positively yelled with delight.

I

'Then, monsieur, allow me to fill your glass!' he exclaimed, pouring out the wine which the waiter had meantime brought. You must do me the honour to dine with me to-night, chez Brébant. have one or two fellow-countrymen, vine-growers, good fellows like myself, who, like monsieur, enjoy a game at cards. We will make a party of poker !'

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I told him I would be with him at seven, that at that moment I was due at a board meeting of my electrical company on the Boulevard Hausmann. However, I never saw him again, as I left that evening for London.

CHAPTER XVI

America-The extraordinary hospitality of the natives-The adventures of a night-In gaol-A novel drive-A cageful of malefactors-My health breaks down-Consumption, and how to cure it: by one who has still got it-BordigheraPleurisy-The Black Forest-Chopin's Funeral March'My obituary notices.

A FEW years ago in the beginning of August I took a pleasure trip to New York, staying there four days, and returning in the ship I went out in-the St. Paul. The voyage is not worth describing, as most people nowadays have made it. I rose each day an hour earlier, according to English time, to see the gorgeous sunrise. There were luxurious bathrooms and a skilful barber on board. On Sunday a stout purser read, in a perfunctory way, some sort of a service in the saloon, and one dismal evening there was the inevitable entertainment, which plunged all but the performers into the depths of low spirits. Most of the passengers belonged to the commercial-traveller class, and their tastes were accordingly considered in the catering. But at sea it is possible to eat anything, even 'rare'

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mutton. My next-door neighbour, who used to breakfast in pyjamas, was wont to begin his day with lobster and greengages, the stones of which he would consign to the butter-dish.

I made a desperate attempt to discover an English equivalent to the American word 'elegant,' and to this end I made a note of the various conjunctions into which it was placed by an elderly Yankee who was evidently partial to the epithet. I found, on consulting my list, that he had said in the course of one conversation: (i.) that the Atlantic was an 'elegant ocean'; (ii) that a pair of boots he had on (for which, he told me, he had given six dollars readymade) was an 'elegant pair of boots'; and (iii.) that Newman's hymn, Lead, kindly Light,' was an 'elegant hymn.' So that I could arrive at no conclusion.

It is very unjust to judge of a nation by its commercial travellers, who are apt, perhaps, to reserve their best manners and charms for business hours. When I arrived in New York, I was overwhelmed by the kindness and cordiality of everyone I met ; and I mentally blushed as I contrasted it with the very mild 'You-must-come-and-lunch-some-day' sort of hospitality which we are apt to extend to our visitors when they come this side. I was made a temporary member of three clubs, and it was only by a certain amount of scheming that I contrived