up several such in this age; may they not be discouraged. This testimony shall yet be glorious, and will be seen and owned to have arisen from the pure enlightenings of truth.

In one of our meetings, it opened upon my mind, that people in the first nature, before a change of heart is wrought, were in that state wherein the old law became necessary; and that in this state, their passions being unsubdued, and their resentments keen and furious, they were ready to invoke the Almighty, to avenge them on their outward adversaries, and to subdue their enemies before them: this being no further an advance in reformation, at most, than the dispensation of the law. But as people are faithful to the leadings of truth, under the several dispensations of the Almighty, their passions become more and more subjected, their resentments more and more bounded, and their wills more resigned, and they at length arrive to the dispensation of the prophets, that is, to the prophetic, or foreseeing dispensation: under which they have stronger impressions and clearer views of the coming of a further dispensation still; and of the necessity of their own wills being still more given up and resigned; being impressed with a foresight and belief, that it is not only necessary, but attainable, through faithfulness, even so far as to know and feel, that vengeance is the Lord's, and that he will repay; and that man must cease from exercising revenge, and leave his cause with the Lord. Under this foreseeing dispensation, many, I believe, have been made sensible, that a time would come, wherein themselves, as individuals, would be restrained from learning war, or lifting up sword against outward enemies

any more.

All this I believe may be witnessed under the dispensation of the prophets, or of prophecy or foresight, which is a further advance than that of the mere law, wherein the wrathful passions may for a season prevail, and yet not come to the complete bringing in of the Messiah, or the gospel dispensation. For I clearly saw, beyond all doubt, that whoever comes to know the peaceable Messiah's dispensation brought in, and completely established in his soul, will certainly breathe forth in life, conversation, and conduct, "Glory to God in the highest, and on earth peace, good will toward men." This was the song of the

angels at the very birth of Christ, the Prince of Peace, and must and will be the song or language of those in whose hearts he is allowed to rule and reign, exercising in full dominion the power by which he is the exalted Son of God; which, in plain words, is the power of love.

When this comes to be the case with any soul, that soul is "passed from death to life," and is not under the law, but under grace. Yea, when this gospel dispensation is established in the soul, it is neither under the law, nor under the prophetic or foreseeing dispensation, which is a state of expecting and waiting for; but this is a state of witnessing, and experiencing the beating of swords into plowshares, and learning war no more. How different is the prayer of the soul under this dispensation from the prayer of the fighter, at best but under the law. The gospel prayer is not, " O Lord, avenge us on our outward adversaries, and subdue our outward enemies," but "Forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those that trespass against us." Observe well, the very foundation of asking forgiveness is, as we forgive. This is the gospel prayer. This is the prayer which Jesus taught. And yet many have the presumption to call themselves his ministers, and even to use these words in prayer, while at the same time they are wishing God to help them to overcome and destroy their fellow men. Oh! horrid presumption! Will they presume to approach the Lord Almighty with invocations to him to destroy those that trespass against them, and yet not blush at their own hypocrisy and formality when they talk about and cry out, "Forgive us as we forgive those that trespass against us."

Hear, O ye heavens! and be astonished, O earth! at the confusion and inconsistency of those who yet profess to be the followers of the Prince of Peace; even of him who not only taught us to pray to be forgiven as we forgive, saying, "If ye forgive men their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you;" and telling Peter to forgive "not only till seven times, but until seventy times seven." I say he not only taught this doctrine, but exemplified it, particularly in this remarkable language or prayer for his crucifiers: "Father, forgive them, for they know not what they do." This was the example which

he set for his followers to imitate; and which that pious martyr Stephen so fully imitated, that when he was stoned, being filled with the holy spirit, he kneeled down and cried with a loud voice, "Lord, lay not this sin to their charge."

This was ancient Christianity! O glorious day! O blessed Christians! But, alas! now men would pass for Christians, who are living in the spirit of revenge and war. Oh! when will their eyes be opened to see their inconsistency, and their hearts changed from wrath to lovel

In the 10th month, being in town, I saw a person confined to a sick bed, who appeared to be in great distress of mind. He confessed that he had been tenderly visited in order for his reformation, but said he, "I did not keep close to it." He manifested much concern that others might be warned of their danger, and excited to look about themselves and see where they stand; saying, in some agony of mind, "If I had kept up in all things, O Lord, how blessed, how happy, should I now be!"

Oh! that all people, particularly the youth, may be awakened by such awful examples, and preserved from the like evils. For whatever they may think in times of health and prosperity, and however they may lull their consciences to sleep, a time will come when the judgments of the Lord will assuredly bring those into a state of anguish, condemnation, and distress, who practise wicked works. Think, dear youth, timely think, how much better, how much more comfortable it will be, on a sick or dying bed, to have lived righteously, and to have your hearts filled with joy unspeakable, and your mouths with songs of consolation and praises, than to live wickedly, and on a dying pillow to have, in deep anguish and keen condemnation, to cry out as this poor man did, " O Lord! what shall I do? what shall I do? Oh! the poor sinners! Oh! the distressed souls!" And at the same time to be obliged to own yourselves of that number, and in deep lamentation to reflect how disobedient you have been, and how blessed and happy you might have been, had you been faithful. Oh! that all young people would take warning, would keep near the light, and learn early to number their days, and apply their hearts unto wisdom, that so their

latter end may be peace, and their future state in another world joy unspeakable and full of glory.

For a considerable length of time, I had believed it best for me to write how every day was spent. This was useful to me, by bringing me to a kind of daily reckoning. But as what has once been a useful practice may be too long persisted in, and thus become a mere formality, I felt easy to omit, at least for a season, the continuation of so particular an account. The practice of silent waiting, has afforded solid satisfaction to my mind. I have felt the precious effects of such seasons, for years past; and often, when I have neglected it, I have had sorrowfully to repent of something or other that has happened by reason of my mind being off its watch. Oh! that I may henceforward be favoured not only with frequency of such opportunities, but with a heart sensible of the blessing that attends them.

11th month 22d. Blessed be the God of Abraham, Isaac, and Jacob, that he has been pleased to teach my soul how and where to wait upon him, and enjoy his holy presence, while multitudes in this benighted world are groping in darkness, being directed by their hireling teachers to look without, for what they must find within. Thus are they seeking the living among the dead. Oh! that the eyes of all may be opened, and their hearts rightly impressed with a sense that the inward reproofs of instruction are the way of life," and that, to wait upon the Lord, is the way to renew a Christian's strength.

12th month 6th. I have of late been made sensible of the confusion produced by some pretending to the ministry. I have been so painfully affected with the fruits of their unsanctified zeal, that my spirit has almost groaned within me; and I now feel a freedom thus to pen it down, hoping I may ever be on my watch, and never be found ministering in a careless frame of mind, crying peace, peace, where there is none; nor yet from a warm zeal, without knowledge, threshing and whipping, without any proper authority, clear sense, or divine opening, but merely from an uneasy frame of spirit, and darkness in the mind; thence, judging whole meetings, supposing the blame in

others, when in reality it may be in myself. May I and all others, wait for the word of command, and minister only from the pure openings of the gift of God, speaking as his oracles. Such ministry, and such only, the Lord owneth, and causeth to reach the just witness in the hearts of the hearers; having the sanction of him who " is a consuming fire," and who "maketh his angels spirits, and his ministers a flame of fire."

O Lord my God! preserve me. Preserve me, dearest Father, from reproaching thy name, and from burdening thy heritage with unsanctified offerings, the untimely fruits of a spirit of forwardness, the vain productions of a superficial mind, or the rash exertions of an infatuated zeal. But, O blessed Lord! may thy holy name ever be kept sacred, and thy ministers enabled to rise up in thy awful dread and holy authority, having on the Urim and the Thummim, and being adorned with the girdle of truth, the "bell and the pomegranate;" that so, the glory, honour, and renown may be feelingly and reverently ascribed unto thee, forevermore. Amen, amen, saith my soul.

CHAPTER V.

Ar our Yearly Meeting this year, 1779, the subject of Friends paying taxes for war, came under solid consideration, Friends were unanimous, that the testimony of truth, and of our society, was clearly against our paying such taxes as were wholly for war; and many solid Friends manifested a lively testimony against the payment of those in the mixture; which testimony appeared evidently to me to be on substantial ground, arising and spreading in the authority of truth. It was a time of refreshment to an exercised number, whose spirits, I trust, were feelingly relieved, in a joyful sense of the light which then sprung up among us. On the whole, I am renewedly confirmed, that however the burden-bearers of the present generation VOL. I.-15

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