young tree or twig. Let them get a little out of the way, and into a cold state and condition, and then attempt suddenly and rashly to bend them, or make them submit and comply, and alas! how brittle they appear! how they crack! how short they break! and how utterly useless they become! being perhaps wholly ruined! But if when we perceive them out of the way, and grown cold and brittle, we begin gently with them; and if they will not bear much bending or twisting at first trial, wait till a warmer season, when truth may have warmed and softened them; or, by gently gaining upon them, by the softening warmth of a loving, tender, intreating disposition; how may we gradually bend, soften, and form them, till they are brought to submission, condescension, and amendment; and till they will bear to be handled, almost as we please; and even become useful in the work of the great Husbandman, and like the withed twig, help to hold the work together, or build up the hedge or fence about the vineyard.

I have often observed, that he who, labouring with brittle of fenders, has begun gently, felt and spoke tenderly, and continued to deal with meekness and gentleness, has won the heart of the offender, and so gained upon him, that he could, at length, say almost any thing to him, deal with the greatest plainness, lay things close to him, and yet not offend him; but prevail upon him to acknowledge his faults. While another person, who has rashly fallen on, in the language of censure and severity, has soon raised an obstinate resistance, shut up his own way, and done great injury to the cause of truth.

I feel a serious and tender desire, that all zealous young Friends, who, with sincere and good intentions, are beginning to exercise themselves, or to be exercised, in the discipline of the church, may seriously and awfully consider the hurt that has been done by a fiery zeal, without the knowledge which experience produceth, and withhold their hand from rashness For, however clearly they may see, that things are out of order, and that many are greatly short of a true and necessary zeal for reformation and good order, yet they should consider, that though they know that they themselves mean well, yet their

judgment and experience is that of children, to whom moderation, wisdom, and necessary forbearance are generally very unnatural. And Oh! that such may wisely suspect themselves, whilst in the heat of their first zeal, which may be compared to the heat and violence of youthful blood. Let them also consider, that such as have at first given way to this wild, (though well-intended,) zeal, if they have held on their way, in a religious engagement, and been favoured with an advancement and growth in religious experience, have scarcely ever failed to see beyond the weakness of that childish state, have learned moderation, meekness and forbearance, and have had to lament the austerity and severity of their former days, and often to mourn over the rents and breaches, the wounds and desolations, which their own too confident, self-sufficient zeal and rashness, have occasioned.

I believe my own sorrowful experience, and the present engagement of my mind, warrant me in thus cautioning and warning others. For, alas ! a zeal, like what I have been treating of, has, in days past, had too much place in my mind, and I have no doubt, has been exercised to the injury of others. And though I meant well, and thought with Paul, when Saul, that I did God service, and that truth required such a cleansing of the camp, as I then aimed at, yet, (and it is now no small cause of thanksgiving and joy,) my merciful leader and redeemer has opened my eyes to see my danger, and flee for my life, before I was ruined and destroyed by the flames of this wild fire.

CHAPTER VIII.

AFTER my return from the foregoing visit to Friends of Oblong and Nine-Partners Quarterly Meetings, I had to pass through much probationary leanness and inward want, and at times through deep and various exercises; but I had not been long at home, before a concern began to revive and spread in my mind, which I had some view of for several years, to wit, to make a visit to Friends of Pennsylvania and New Jersey ; and at times it was fresh with me, but without a clear prospect of the time when. Thus time passed on; and in some of our meetings for worship, the weight of the service would rest upon me as something almost too great for my weak state: but I was mostly favoured to see that ability for such services was not in the creature, but in God; and then I could cast my care on him alone, and give up; and thus submitting, I felt or saw but little about it for some length of time. But about the 4th, 5th, and 6th months, 1785, it was much with me; but yet I could not see clearly about the time when to proceed. And at our Yearly Meeting at Newport, in the 6th month, as I sat in a meeting for worship one day, it revived with the most clearness that I had ever seen it, insomuch that I had a query in my mind, whether it would not be ripe to proceed to the Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia in the ninth month following; but this passing off, I thought I would not yet open it to any person. But after this meeting my dear friend Joseph Mitchell, asked me if I had not some thoughts of going to Pennsylvania, &c. on a religious visit. I answered him, "I have had such thoughts, but believe nobody would yet have known any thing of it, had not the question been put to me." He told me he felt such an engagement to ask me, that he believed it was right for him so to do, and then he opened his prospect of such a visit, which agreed with mine; and told me it had been with him in the meeting we had just sat in more feelingly than at almost any other time. So we concluded to

keep our prospects very much in our own bosoms; and after a few days we had a few words more together, when I found he had felt but little of it since we conversed about it; but before our Yearly Meeting ended, I had some fresh revivals of it. About this time I had some trying exercises in the course of my practice of physic; but I found patience was good in these cases, and that divine wisdom was profitable to direct therein. I think I may also mention, that after all my past experience of heavenly good and divine favour, I had to encounter some of the most trying and potently pressing temptations of my soul's enemy that ever I endured; even so that I often, for months, almost despaired of overcoming. Let him that thinketh he standeth, be not high-minded; but fear. Let none think themselves safe off the watch, because of any degree of attainment and favour. The watch-tower remains to be our place of safety. Neither let any honest mind be too much disheartened at the assaults of satan. There is a power above him, and he that cleaves close to it shall know a victory over all the powers of darkness, and therein witness that there is no enchantment against the rightly wrestling Jacob, nor divination against God's faithful, dependant, persevering Israel. This I think my soul has a right to set its seal to, as I have ever come off victorious, when I have not turned my back upon the light, our divine leader.

Sing, O ye heavens! and O ye pilgrims on the earth, rejoice and triumph! for strong and invincible is the God of our salvation; and abundantly sufficient for our help is the grace afforded us! Let all but keep to it, and then safe are their steppings, and sure their preservation; for, however severe their trials, the Lord will be near them; and indeed, in the midst of temptation he will often lift up a standard that shall vanquish all the influence of every evil spirit, and set the soul on the everlasting foundations, that cannot be shaken. Oh! how often did the unslumbering Shepherd of Israel, the great Bishop of souls, arise for my deliverance, when I seemed to myself just ready to fall a victim to the grand adversary! how did he not only give power of resistance; but fill my soul with the overflowing of his love beyond all expression! Worthy for ever to be waited for, wor

shipped, and obeyed, is the Lord, the God of Israel, the mighty Friend of the faithful!

I now come to mention a concern that had exercised my mind for some years. A notion has been very industriously propagated in this country, that all souls will enjoy eternal salvation, however wicked. And this doctrine being preached up by many, and several books being printed in vindication of it, I became engaged in spirit to write something in support of the true christian doctrine of future endless rewards and punishments. This I did in answer to a piece called "Union," &c., by James Relley; and by some more general remarks on the subject, with many pertinent passages of scripture;. which, being laid before our Meeting for Sufferings, was, after some amendments, approbated, and liberty granted by them to print it. The writing of this essay occupied considerable time, and after it was approved, it lay on hand, unprinted.*

My prospects of a visit to Pennsylvania, &c. continuing, and the time to proceed therein appearing to me to be some time preceding the Yearly Meeting at Philadelphia, 1786, I endeavoured to be given up to it; but the thoughts of parting with my dear wife, and tender little children, wrought so upon me that I seemed to hold back again, after giving up several times, until in the winter preceding said Yearly Meeting, I was visited with severe sickness for a month, insomuch that many thought I should not recover. In the time of this illness, I intelligibly heard in the secret of my soul, in silence and stillness, this awful language: "Set thine house in order, for thou shalt die, and not live." This, though plain and alarming, did not at all strike my mind with a belief that I was soon to leave the body; but two things seemed specially to be set before me: 1st, Though I had a written will by me, very nearly agreeable to my mind, yet as it was not quite so, one sense of the word, "set thine house in order," was to me as much as "make thy will;" whereupon I sent for a Friend, who, by my desire, and according to my direction, wrote another for me, which was soon signed and witnessed to my satisfaction. 2d, I was fully satis

*See Vol. II.

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