upon thee. It is as much in wisdom and goodness that he sometimes as it were withdraws, hides from, and leaves his children, and then again returns gloriously for their unspeakable consolation, as is the succession of darkness and light, cold and warm seasons, in the outward.

Many and varied afflictions are necessary to our refinement. Hence the place of this refinement is called, "the furnace of affliction." Through the purifying operations of these fiery trials, the soul is gradually redeemed from the pit of pollution. It is a precious work of divine power to hide pride from man. And he who becomes thoroughly acquainted with the corruptions of human nature, in its alienation from God, will find, if ever true humiliation and renovation is effected in him, that nothing short of the baptism of fire can rightly cleanse the corrupt, and humble the proud heart of fallen man. Indeed it is a sealed truth, that they who are without chastisement are bastards, and not sons. All that the Father loveth, he chasteneth; and scourgeth every one that he receiveth. My soul rejoiceth and giveth God thanks, for deep probations and withdrawings of his presence; as well as for the sensible incomes of his love, and arisings of the light of his countenance upon me. I see and own it needful to my growth in the divine life, as well as in order to my complete emancipation from the servitude of sin, that he should deal thus with me; and it has afforded instruction to my mind, that he is called in scripture by the name of "the Lord that hideth his face from the house of Jacob." Oh! what panting of soul, what anxious solicitude for his return, takes place in all the true travellers, when he vails his holy presence; and how joyful is the lifting up of his countenance, after these seasons, upon the drooping mind, thus prepared for the comforta ble returns thereof! It is like the return of clear shining after rain.

Under the refining hand of God's power, whereby he thus humbled and abased my soul, I was given clearly to see the need I should have of this excellent qualification, humility, in my further progress in religious life. I saw pretty clearly, in the midst of my deepest depression, that if I should be favoured with unremitted tranquillity and divine enjoyment, I should be in danger of spiritual pride and exaltation. Blessed be the

name of the Lord for this among his many other favours, that he taught me the necessity of humility, and forewarned, and therein forearmed me against the wiles of satan, which I afterwards became more fully acquainted with. Oh! with what ardency of desire did my prayers ascend before him, that he would rebuke the proud luciferian spirit, and appoint my dwelling in the low valley, where the grass is green, and where the fragrant flowers give forth a pleasant smell. I saw that on the lofty mountains often reign barrenness and desolation. My mind was almost constantly impressed, in those days, with the love and desire of deep humility. I saw something of its real beauty, and craved it as one of the greatest blessings. Oh! said I, that I may put it on as a garment, and wear it for ever: yea, even appear in it before my Judge, in the assembly of saints and angels, in a future state. "O Lord, my God!" was then my language, and my heart now joins it, "suffer me never to forget my tribulations, nor to cease my supplications to thee, for the continuance of this precious blessing; let it be the first and the last in the catalogue of my requests."

Thus the great Leader of Israel, led me on from step to step; not by any means through a constant and uninterrupted enjoy-* ment of his presence, but, which for me has been far better, by frequent withdrawings, strippings, and deep felt emptiness, poverty, and want; and that again and again repeated, even after large overflowings of his love in my soul, as a river overflowing all its banks. Had he not, after such seasons of rejoicing, vailed his presence, and clothed my soul with mourning, I might, like ancient Israel, have "sang his praise, and soon forgot his works." But now, through the many tribulations, and wise turnings of his holy hand upon me, my soul remains bowed, and to this day sensible of the tendering impressions of his love and goodness. The savour of life is still fresh within me. He has led me about and instructed me, and, with reverence I speak it, hath kept and preserved me. May I still be preserved, and henceforth for ever kept safe under his all-powerful protection; walking worthy of the same to the end of my days. Amen.

During a great part of the foregoing exercises, I had frequent openings, and lively prospects respecting the christian warfare,

and the mysteries of the kingdom of heaven. I often believed, in the openings of divine light, that, if I stood faithful, it would be required of me to declare to others what the Lord had done for me, and given me an understanding of, and to entreat my fellow-creatures to seek an habitation in that kingdom that cannot be shaken or fade away. This concern began now to grow upon me considerably, even to that degree, that I felt at times in meetings a living engagement to communicate somewhat to the people. But, fearing I should begin in that great work before the right time, I kept back; and even divers times, when I was almost ready to stand up, I have concluded I would keep silence this once more; considering within myself, that if my so doing should be displeasing to the Lord, he would manifest his displeasure to me; but if I should presume to speak a word in his name, and it should prove to be without his holy requiring, or too soon, I should not only displease him, but also burden his people; and perhaps get into, and become entangled in, a way of speaking from too small motions or impressions felt, or mournfully mistake the sparks of my own kindling for divine impressions; which might, in consequence of my giving way thereunto, be suffered to increase upon me, to my great loss in the substantial and divine life, if not to my utter ruin.

In this guarded frame of mind I passed on for some time, often seeking to the Lord for counsel and direction in this and other concerns of importance. And though I believe I might have publicly borne testimony in the name, power, and approbation of the Lord, rather sooner than I did; yet as I was not obstinately, but carefully backward, I seldom felt much condemnation for withholding: however, I did a few times find some real uneasiness on that account. But he who laid the concern upon me, well knowing the integrity of my heart, and that I was bent faithfully to serve him, without going too fast, or yet tarrying behind my guide, dealt graciously with me, passed by my little withholdings, favoured with fresh and increasing incomes of his love, and, from time to time, cast up my way with still greater clearness; and at length in a manner so clear and confirming, as erased doubt and hesitation from my mind: in the fresh au

thority whereof I uttered a few words in our meeting at Providence, on the first day of the week, and 10th of the 4th month, 1774, to my own and I believe my friends' satisfaction. I felt the returns of peace in my own bosom, as a river of life, for a considerable time afterwards, sweetly comforting my mind, and confirming me in this solemn undertaking. The words I uttered were as follow: "My mind hath often, yea, very often, been attended with earnest desires for the good of souls, particularly for the attenders of this meeting; and in an especial manner for a remnant, whose hearts, I believe, God has touched. And the language of my mind hath often been after this manner: Oh! that Zion might arise and shake herself from the dust of the earth, and put on her beautiful garments." Having, in brokenness of heart, and in great care not to exceed the bounds of divine requisition, uttered these few words, I sat down, and was, as it were, swallowed up in the luminous presence of him who inhabits eternity, and dwells in the light.

After some time of heavenly rejoicing, I began again to be tried with various exercises and conflicts of mind, though still frequently favoured with the flowings of divine love, in a very comfortable and soul-satisfying manner. At divers time I had lively impressions to say a few words more, in public testimony; but still waited to be well assured. The unspeakable consolation which I found, on my first uttering a few words, and that after a considerable time of rather holding back, than hasty procedure, had fully confirmed me that there is greater safety in turning the fleece, and well proving it, both wet and dry, than in rushing forward in the first operations or openings. The beasts allowed in sacrifice, were to chew the cud and divide the hoof. Chewing the cud is a deliberate act; they chew and swallow, and chew and swallow again. The division of the hoof, being on the stepping member, shows the danger of taking a single step in divine services, without a clear division of things, and the way cast up in the mind. As I thus waited for clearness, not being by once succeeding, encouraged to run too fast, I was favoured to know the fire of the Lord rightly kindled upon his altar; and to witness an offering of his own preparing. And

I am well assured that such, and such only, are the offerings which will find acceptance with him. He never will reject these, any more than accept those of human obtruding.

My second public appearance in the ministry was at the lower meeting-house in Smithfield, the 19th of the 10th month, 1774, when I found a living concern to encourage a careful engagement before the Lord, out of meetings; and to press it upon Friends to draw nigh unto him from day to day, that strength may be renewed, and the divine savour of life retained, lest we lose the living sense of what we often graciously enjoy in our religious meetings. Life, divine life, attended me in this little testimony, as in the former: and after meeting I enjoyed the sweet influence of him who is the God of my salvation, in a degree that was greatly to my confirmation and encouragement.

After this I still continued seeking unto and waiting upon God for counsel and direction; in which frame of mind I was favoured to renew and increase a living acquaintance with him, and witnessed fresh instruction to my mind. I appeared but seldom in public testimony, and mostly in a few words at a time, and yet I have some few times been made sensible of saying too much; and for which I have felt more pain of mind than I have often felt, if ever, for withholding. However, through merciful preservation, I have seldom, to my knowledge, appeared oftener or said more than has tended to my own relief and satisfaction, and, for aught I know, to the satisfaction of my brethren. Blessed be the name of the Lord my God! I bow awfully before him, for his directing and preserving presence, through many deep probations. He hath been with me in the heights and in the depths; has strung my bow, and covered my head in the day of battle. May I serve him faithfully all the days of my stay here, until I go hence, and be seen of men no more.