IV. Hard judgments of others. Did I allow any hard judgment of any one to-day, in my mind. Did I, if tempted, try to think it might not be so? or to think of some other good quality in them? Did I readily admit indifferent things to confirm. any impression which had been made upon me? Did I let my mind dwell on the subject, if it returned to me? Did I say anything sharp of any one? What? Have I spoken of any one, with an undercurrent feeling of displeasure? Have I wilfully taken pleasure when any one spoke disparagingly of any one I do not like; or of any quality which I do not like, or encouraged in any way any unfavourable opinion I had. Have I encouraged any such conversation? Have I indulged in invidious comparisons to the disparagement of any one? v. When blamed or suspected by others. Have I exaggerated to myself any blame of me? Have I been careful not to think it means more than the words say? Have I construed looks and made inferences from them? Have I felt proudly, or have I tried to find out whether there be any slight foundation in me for what was said, even if on the whole it seem to me what I do not deserve? Have I put away kindness from me? Have I interpreted the words or acts or looks of another, as though they did not mean kindly by me, without knowing it to be so? Have I chosen signs for myself which should be indexes of a person's feelings towards me, not thinking that the same act might come from very different feelings? Have I made to myself signs as to the Will of GOD, out of ordinary circumstances, apart from what He directly teaches? Have I watched too much the looks of another and allowed doubts as to their kind feelings towards me? Have I interpreted the words of another beyond what their plain. meaning requires? Have I made inference from their looks, forgetting that the same expression may come from very different feelings? Have I combined different words or deeds, in order to make one whole, indicating unlove in another? Have I taken satisfaction in my quickness in combining things, or even a painful satisfaction in thinking myself right, even when it involved evil in another? Have I allowed myself to imagine things of another, filling up what I knew or thought I knew, by anything which I did not know? Have I accounted anything which pained me, as certain, because it flashed vividly and painfully across me? Have I watched either acts and words, in order to ascertain what would pain me, or so as to judge another? Have I prayed GOD to take away suspicion from me, and tried actively to throw it off from me at the first moment? Have I prayed our LORD by His Agony to strengthen me? Have I gone over in my mind willingly things which in the past have pained me, without turning them into prayer when I remembered it? Have I allowed myself in any painful imaginings? VI. Resolutions. I will not myself judge as to the inward motives or feelings of others, whatever outward appearances may be. If judgments occur to me, I will say O Good LORD, Thou Alone knowest the hearts of men, Let me not judge Thy servant, But make all our hearts what Thou willest. I will not supply any meaning as to words or letters, or acts of but if I do not understand any, or think that he means something severe which he does not say, I will ask him gently. I will not mistake emotions for voluntary sin; but pray God to soothe and still me with the dew of His Grace. I must not, and by GoD's Grace, will not this day, let my soul dwell on any painful thought as to another, save to pray Thee, O Blessed JESU, to bless me and make me Thine. If Thou permit this day that I should be so harassed against my will— Make me hold fast to Thee, That I may not in the least depart |