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On the 24th of June, it being , there is no deficiency on God's the sabbath, he called his sister part. I never have the least into his room, at a very early doubt of his sufficiency, ability, or hour, to whom he manifested willingness. It is my own vile great distress of mind. He said hypocritical heart, that I fear is he had obtained very little sleep deceiving me.” These seasons, during the night, and was much however, were not of long conexercised with doubts and fears tinuance. .concerning his spiritual state. In general, he complained “ I cannot,” said he,“ obtain much of great stupidity, that he those clear views of the divine could not think with fixedness character, for which I long ;” and connection, which was to and added many other things him a great grief. In seasons naturally arising from his state of darkness, he considered them of mind. He desired to hear a as evidence against himself. His portion of scripture, which was exercises, in general, were such, read. Soon after he expressed as would have afforded him sahimself to this effect. “I feel tisfying evidence of a renewed much better. I have seen some-heart in any other person, but thing of God. I think I have he could not see them to be such experienced something of those in himself. He often observed outgoings of soul after him, that doubts and fears in his situ. which David expresses in the ation, could not be dismissed till Psalms which have been read. a more convenient season, as was Oh ! how glorious! how trans- apt to be the case in a time of scendently glorious is God! I health and prosperity. can trust myself in his hands He was tenderly solicitous for for time and eternity. I know his people, and lamented that he he will do right. This is a mer- was so much deprived of seeing ciful, refreshing view he has giv- and conversing with them. He en me of himself; but I long to desired strength more fully to see more of him," &c. For six enforce the doctrines which he or eight weeks, the state of his had before preached, and now mind was alternately bright and firmly believed. He was always gloomy. He had two seasons, anxious to see his ministerial in particular, of extreme distress, brethren, and other Christian in many respects similar to the friends, by whom, he said, God one mentioned above. He ap- always sent him some cordial. peared to have a great sense of In examining the evidences of the exceeding sinfulness of sin, his good estate, he could never his own depravity of heart and admit much doubt, in that of life ; and said, that his sins see- love to the brethren. med to be set in order before About four weeks before his him. Those committed in child-death, he had some brighter hood 'which had long been for views than at any previous time, gollen, now came fresh to mind which he thus communicated to and stared him in the face. a friend. “ You cannot be sensi

Being told, that God was still ble of the great goodness of God on a throne of grace, freely dis- to me, in all his dealings. He pensing mercy to the humble has sometimes hid himself till penitent, he said: " Oh! I know I was almost ready to sink ; thev

he darts some rays of light and strong and elevated language. comfort into my soul, kindly ma- But I have not lived the life of king me feel my dependence. an eminent Christian, and have He has shown me myself, which no reason to expect that God view I exceedingly needed to will reward me as such, eihumble me. This forenoon I ther in life or in death. All is have had such clear, distinct, of free, sovereign grace.” When and admiring views of Christ in his little daughter was about to all his offices, as I never had be- be sent to her aunt at N-, he fore, particularly his kingly of desired that she might be bro't fice, whereby he subdues us to to him. After kissing her he himself. I think I do most cor- said ; “ She is no more minedially receive and embrace him I have given her to God I have in them all. How amiable ! before this, given all my children how glorious !"

to him. He can take care of After this, he was free from them here, and fit them for a any particular distress, and en- better world.” He often converjoyed a happy degree of peace sed with his children as he had and comfort, in that hope, which strength, and in a way suited to before, even in his darkest hours, their capacities. had been, in some measure, an During two or three weeks anchor to his soul. He, howev- before his death, he was exercier continued to express a long- sed with great bodily pain and ing desire for greater assurance, distress. But his greatest anxand to see more of God. He fiety was, a fear that he should daily wished to hear as much of dishonor God and religion by the bible as he could bear, and impatience. « Oh, for patience ! took peculiar delight in the Oh, for patience !” he would Psalms, and in our Saviour's frequently exclaim. “Do pray last discourse to his disciples. for me, that I may have patience He conversed more about the tobear, and patience to wait God's friends whom he expected soon time. I know that will be the to meet in heaven, than those he best time. It is always safe waiexpected to leave behind. He ting on God." These were commanifested an uniform resigna- mon expressions. In seasons of tion to the divine will, which great distress, he would say, he would frequently express is my Father's hand, my heave when his pains were most se- enly Father's hand. That thoʻt vere. When his side was dres- will sweeten the bitterest cup." sing, he said ; “ Now I have a A few days before his death very corruptible body, which will he said, “I am afraid my will soon become food for worms;s is not wholly subdued to the will but another day, I shall have of God." Being asked if he one incorruptible. What kind wished to recover, 'he replied, of body do you think that will that he felt a reluctance to rebe ? It is sufficient for us to know turn, and live in this troublethat it will be fashioned like unto some world ; but “let God's Christ's glorious body." On will be done.” On Saturday hearing some passages in the before his death, being in great life of Mr. P. he said ; "I cannot distress, he said to a friend standfollow him. I cannot use such ) ing by ; "Can this be dying ***

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Being answered that it would gled joy. Blessed are the dead not be matter of surprise, if he who die in the Lord. should be released before night, A few extracts from his diary he replied ; “ That is good which was written, merely for 'tis a good thought.” Sabbath his own spiritual benefit, without morning, being asked, if it would the least idea of its ever being not injure him to see so much made public, will now be added. company as would probably be But here I find a difficulty in in on that day, he replied, “ No. determining where to begin and Let as many come as wish it, where to end, each part being and see to what they are coming. nearly alike interesting.–After I cannot preach to them now, ex- he had entertained a hope of his cept in groans and hiccoughs. good estate, and made a public But my situation may be as for profession of religion, he seemcible preaching as any other." ed to enjoy much comfort, ex

On Monday, after a kind of cepting at few short intervals, spasm, he said ; “ My pain was for about a year. After this he so great just now, that I almost had great doubts, and at times, forgot that it was my Father's gave up his hope. This was hand. Do remind me of it in the case great part of the time these turns. You do not know for three years or more. The how much the thought eases general state of his mind, during my pain.” He observed, sever that time, may be seen from the al times, that he thought his following extracts from his diprospects brightened, as he drew ary, excepting the first, which nearer the other world. He of he wrote on the day in which he ten spake of the greatness of the made a public profession of rechange, but viewed it with com- ligion, and is as follows. posure.

Sept. 3d, 1786. I arose this On Wednesday, when the morning, and performed secret symptoms of dissolution became devotion with some fervency evident, he was asked if he was and satisfaction, but so little that sensible that he was dying, and I had occasion to lament it betold that his friends viewed him fore God. so ; he replied ; “ I believe I The solemn day was now am, though my distress is not come, wherein I was to dedicate greater than it has been before." myself to God, and sit down at He then called for Mrs. Hunt the table of our Lord. My mind ington, who had, for some time felt calm, serene and resigned; been very weak, and low, and but less affected than I wished. addressed her thus : « I am sen- But thanks be to God, that in sible that I am dying, and that the solemn transaction, he gave we must part. I am willing, I me so much willingness, and hope you are also willing. We resolution to be his. I adore shall soon meet again.” Here that unspeakable love, goodness his strength failed. Soon after, and wisdom which have found with a mind serene and compos- out a way whereby such an aled, he resigned his breath, and ienated, sinful creature as I, may we confidently believe, exchan- be reconciled to an offended and ged a world of sin and sorrow, neglected Creator. And now, for a world of glory, and unmin-lo God, if I have devoted myself

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to thee in sincerity, solely rely- me, to aggravate my guilt, is,
ing on the merits of Christ's per- that I know it, and am at least
fect righteousness, as I humbly rationally convicted of it ; and yet
hope I have, I know that thou do not exercise that repentance
wilt accept me, though the which the gospel requires. I
greatest of sinners. But if Sa- sin against great light and
tan, and my own abominably knowledge, against the admoni-
wicked heart have deceived me, tions of God's word and provi-
I pray thee to snatch me as a dences, against daily mercies,
brand from the burning, and and, I have reason to think, a-
bring me to a true knowledge gainst the strivings of the Holy
of myself and thee. But if Spirit. And this is certainly
thou hast, O Lord, enabled me highhanded wickedness. Alas!
to do it with sincerity, I desire I am the most abject slave to sin.
to ascribe the praise to thee I am bound by it in chains of
alone, humbly desiring that thou adamant! Ohateful chains !
wouldest enable me to walk wor-o vile servitude !
thy the high and holy vocation such is my nature, that I love it!
wherewith I am called. Of my. Shall I not then lothe myself?
self, O Lord, I am nothing. If O Adam, what an inheritance
there be the least goodness in hast thou lost! Could I throw
me, it is thy grace that hath all the blame on thee, it would,
made me so. I pray thee to perhaps, ease But alas !
keep me humbly dependent on it is mine as well as thine. The
the influences of thy Spirit, to inheritance, bad as it was, I
carry me through life, and the accepted ; yea, and have vastly
gloomy vale of death, and into added to, and improved it.-
a blessed eternity. And the Gracious God! take from me
praise shall all be to God the these wretched possessions, and
Father, God the Son, and God make me an heir of that gloria
the Holy Spirit, now and for ous inheritance, which is incor-
ever. Amen."

ruptible, undefiled, and that
After this, he often speaks of fadeth not away.”
the clear, refreshing views which “ Lord's-day morning, June
he had of God, and sweet com- 6th. How miserable is the
munion with him, for a year or guilty conscience! Oh, how am
more. Then he was involved I under the dominion of sin !
in great darkness distress, How cruel the bondage ! Oh,
which will appear from the few the heart-piercing thought of
following extracts.

its being eternal ! Nothing but " Lord's-day morning, April discouragement, nothing but 4th, 1790. Without holiness, no wrath present themselves to my man shall see the Lord. Where view. A fearful looking-for of then shall I appear? Perhaps I judgment and fiery indignation. have but poor ideas of what ho- solemn, and alarming tho't! liness is ; but I know by woful But, O my soul ! is there not a experience, what its opposite is. God of infinite mercy ? Is not' One look inward shows me the the Saviour yet extending his latter in all its deformity. I yet arms of mercy and inviting you live a most miserable, guilty to come? Then I must retract creature ; and what appears to my saying, that it is all discoura VOL. VI. NO.7.

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Being answered that it would gled joy. Blessed are the dead not be matter of surprise, if he who die in the Lord. should be released before night, A few extracts from his diary he replied ; " That is good which was written, merely for 'tis a good thought.” Sabbath his own spiritual benefit, without morning, being asked, if it would the least idea of its ever being not injure him to see so much made public, will now be added. company as would probably be But here I find a difficulty in in on that day, he replied, “ No. determining where to begin and Let as many come as wish it, where to end, each part being and see to what they are coming nearly alike interesting.-- After I cannot preach to them now, ex- he had entertained a hope of his cept in groans and hiccoughs. good estate, and made a public But my situation may be as for profession of religion, he seemcible preaching as any other." ed to enjoy much comfort, ex.

On Monday, after a kind of cepting at few short intervals, spasm, he said ; “ My pain was for about a year. After this he so great just now, that I almost had great doubts, and at times, forgot that it was my Father's gave up his hope. This was hand. Do remind me of it in the case great part of the time these turns. You do not know for three years or more. The how much the thought eases general state of his mind, during my pain.” He observed, sever that time, may be seen from the al times, that he thought his following extracts from his diprospects brightened, as he drew ary, excepting the first, which nearer the other world. He of he wrote on the day in which he ten spake of the greatness of the made a public profession of rechange, but viewed it with com- ligion, and is as follows. posure.

Sept. 3d, 1786. I arose this On Wednesday, when the morning, and performed secret symptoms of dissolution became devotion with some fervency evident, he was asked if he was and satisfaction, but so little that sensible that he was dying, and I had occasion to lament it betold that his friends viewed him fore God. so ; he replied; “I believe I The solemn day was now am, though my distress is not come, wherein I was to dedicate greater than it has been before." myself to God, and sit down at He then called for Mrs. Hunt. the table of our Lord. My mind ington, who had, for some time felt calm, serene and resigned ; been very weak, and low, and but less affected than I wished. addressed her thus : “ I am sen- | But thanks be to God, that in sible that I am dying, and that the solemn transaction, he gave we must part.

I am willing, Ime so much willingness, and hope you are also willing. We resolution to be his. I adore shall soon meet again.” Here that unspeakable love, goodness his strength failed. Soon after, and wisdom which have found with a mind serene and compos- out a way whereby such an aled, he resigned his breath, and ienated, sinful creature as I, may we confidently believe, exchan- be reconciled to an offended and ged a world of sin and sorrow, neglected Creator. And now, for a world of glory, and unmin-To God, if I have devoted myself

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