Bare Innocence is no Support,
When you are try'd in Scandal's Court. Stand high in Honour, Wealth, or Wit; All others who inferior fit,
Conceive themselves in Conscience bound To join, and drag you to the Ground. Your Altitude offends the Eyes,
Of those who want the Pow'r to rife. The World, a willing Stander-by, Inclines to aid a fpecious Lye :
Alas! they would not do you Wrong; But, all Appearances are strong.
YET, whence proceeds this Weight we lay On what detracting People say?
For, let Mankind discharge their Tongues In Venom till they burft their Lungs, Their utmost Malice cannot make
Your Head, or Tooth, or Finger ake : Nor spoil your Shape, distort your Face, Or put one Feature out of Place; Nor, will you find your Fortune fink, By what they speak, or what they think. Nor can ten Hundred Thoufand Lyes, Make you lefs virtuous, learn'd, or wife.
THE most effectual Way to baulk Their Malice, isto let them talk,
The Furniture of a Woman's Mind.
Written in the Year 1727.
Set of Phrases learn'd by Rote; A Paffion for a Scarlet-Coat; When at a Play to laugh, or cry, Yet cannot tell the Reason why: Never to hold her Tongue a Minute; While all fhe prates has nothing in it, Whole Hours can with a Coxcomb fit, And take his Nonfenfe all for Wit; Her Learning mounts to read a Song; But, half the Words pronouncing wrong; Has ev'ry Rapartee in Store,
She spoke ten Thousand Times before, Can ready Compliments supply On all Occafions, cut and dry. Such Hatred to a Parfon's Gown, The Sight will put her in a Swoon, For Conversation well endu'd; She calls it witty to be rude; And, placing Raillery in Railing; Will tell aloud your greatest Failing; Nor makes a Scruple to expose Your bandy Leg, or crooked Nose, Can at her Morning Tea, run o'er The Scandal of the Day before,
Improving hourly in her Skill, To cheat and wrangle at Quadrille.
IN chufing Lace a Critick nice, Knows to a Groat the lowest Price; Can in her Female Clubs difpute What Lining beft the Silk will fuit ; What Colours each Complexion match, And where with Art to place a Patch.
IF chance a Moufe creeps in her Sight, Can finely counterfeit a Fright; So, fweetly screams if it comes near her, She ravishes all Hearts to hear her. Can dext❜rously her Husband teize, By taking Fits whene'er fhe please: By frequent Practice learns the Trick At proper Seasons to be fick ; Thinks nothing gives one Airs. fo pretty; At once creating Love and Pity. If Molly happens to be careless,
And but neglects to warm her Hair-Lace, She gets a Cold as fure as Death;
And vows fhe scarce can fetch her Breath; Admires how modeft Women can Be fo robuftious like a Man.
IN Party, furious to her Power : A bitter Whig, or Tory fow'r. Her Arguments directly tend Against the Side she would defend ;
Will prove herself a Tory plain, From Principles the Whigs maintain ; And, to defend the Whiggish Cause, Her Topicks from the Tories draws,
O YES! If any Man can find More Virtues in a Woman's Mind, Let them be sent to Mrs. Harding, She'll pay the Charges to a Farthing; Take Notice, fhe has my Commiffion To add them to the next Edition: They may out-fell a better Thing; So, Halloo Boys! God fave the King:
On the five Ladies at Sots-Hole, with the Doctor at their Head.
The Ladies treated the Doctor.
Sent as from an Officer in the Army.
Written in the Year 1728.
AIR Ladies, Number five, Who in your merry Freaks,
With little Tom contrive To feast on Ale and Steaks.
To see you safe in * Sots-Hole, Set up with greasy Linnen,
And neither Mugs nor Pots whole. Alas! I never thought
A Priest would please your Palate Befides, I'll hold a Groat,
He'll put you in a Ballad: Where I shall fee your Faces On Paper daub'd fo foul, They'll be no more like Graces, Than Venus like an Owl. And we shall take you rather To be a Midnight Pack Of Witches met together, With Belzebub in Black, It fills my Heart with Woe, To think fuch Ladies fine, Should be reduc'd fo low, To treat a dull Divine: Be by a Parfon cheated!
Had you been cunning Stagers, You might yourselves be treated By Captains and by Majors. See how Corruption grows,
While Mothers, Daughters, Aunts,
Inftead of powder'd Beaus, From Pulpits chufe Gallants,
A famous Ale-house in Dublin for Beef-stakes.
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