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Methought, when I this Poem read,
No Veffel but an Afs's Head,

Such frigid Fuftian could contain ;
I mean the Head without the Brain:
The cold Conceits, the chilling Thoughts,
Went down like ftupifying Draughts:
I found my Head began to swim,
And Numbness crept through ev'ry Limb:
In hafte, with Imprecations dire,

I threw the Volume in the Fire:
When, who could think, tho' cold as Ice,
It burnt to Ashes in a Trice.

How could I more inhance its Fame?
Though born in Snow, it dy'd in Flame.

An excellent new Ballad; or the true English * Dean to be hanged for a Rape.

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Written in the Year 1730.

I.

UR Brethren of England, who love us fo dear, And, in all they do for us, fo kindly do mean, A Bleffing upon them, have fent us this Year, For the Good of our Church a true English Dean. Á holier

DAWERIDGE, Dean of Ferns, lately deceased.

A holier Priest ne'er was wrapt up in Crape,
The worst you can fay, he committed a Rape.

II.

In his Journey to Dublin, he lighted at Chester,

And there he grew fond of another Man's Wife; Burft into her Chamber, and wou'd have carest her; But the valu'd her Honour much more than her

Life.

She buftled and struggled, and made her Escape,
To a Room full of Guefts for fear of a Rape.
III.

The Dean he purfu'd to recover his Game:
And now to attack her again he prepares;
But the Company stood in Defence of the Dame,
They cudgel'd, and cuft him, and kickt him
down Stairs.

His Deanship was now in a damnable Scrape,
And this was no Time for committing a Rape.
IV.

To Dublin he comes, to the Bagnio he goes,
And orders the Landlord to bring him a Whore;
No Scruple came on him his Gown to expofe,

'Twas what all his Life he had practis❜d before. He had made himself drunk with the Juice of the Grape,

And got a good Clap, but committed no Rape.

V.

The Dean, and his Landlord, a jolly Comrade,

Refolv'd for a Fortnight to fwim in Delight; For why, they had both been brought up to the Trade

Of drinking all Day, and of whoring all Night.

His Landlord was ready his Deanship to ape
In ev'ry Debauch, but committing a Rape.
VI.

This Proteftant Zealot, this English Divine,

In Church and in State was of Principles found; Was truer than Steele to the Hanover Line,

And griev'd that a Tory fhould live above Ground. Shall a Subject fo Loyal be hang'd by the Nape, For no other Crime but committing a Rape?

VII.

By old Popish Canons, as wife Men have penn'd 'em, Each Priest had a Concubine, jure Ecclefiæ; Who'd be Dean of Ferns without a Commendam?

And Precedents we can produce, if it please ye: Then, why should the Dean, when Whores are fo cheap,

Be put to the Peril, and Toil of a Rape?

VIII.

If Fortune fhould please but to take fuch a Crotchet,

(To thee I apply great Smedley's Succeffor)

To give thee Lawn-Sleeves, a Mitre and Rochet,
Whom would't thou resemble I leave thee a
Gueffer;

But I only behold thee in * Atherton's Shape,
For Sodomy hang'd, as thou for a Rape.

IX.

*A Bishop of Waterford, fent from England a Hundred Years

ago.

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IX.

Ah! doft thou not envy the brave Colonel Chartres, Condemn'd for thy Crime, at Threefcore and Ten?

To hang him all England would lend him their Garters;

Yet he lives, and is ready to ravish agen.

Then throttle thy felf with an Ell of ftrong Tape, For thou haft not a Groat to attone for a Rape.

X.

The Dean he was vex'd that his Whores were fo willing:

He long'd for aGirl that would ftruggle and fquall; He ravish'd her fairly, and fav'd a good Shilling; But, here was to pay the Devil and all.

His Trouble and Sorrows now come in a Heap, And hang'd he must be, for committing a Rape. XI.

If Maidens are ravisht, it is their own Choice;

Why are they fo wilful to struggle with Men? If they would but lye quiet, and ftifle their Voice, No Devil, or Dean could ravish 'em then. Nor would there be need of a strong Hempen Cape,

Ty'd round the Dean's Neck, for committing a Rape.

XII.

Our Church and our State dear England maintains, For which all true Proteftant Hearts fhould be

glad;

She fends us our B-s and J

-s and D- -S,

But,

And better would give us, if better she had;

But, Lord how the Rabble will ftare and will gape, When the good English Dean is hang'd up for a Rape.

The Revolution at MARKET-HILL.

FR

Written in the Year 1730.

ROM diftant Regions, Fortune fends
An odd Triumvirate of Friends;
Where Phabus pays a fcanty Stipend,
Where never yet a Codling ripen'd;
Hither the frantick Goddess draws
Three Suff'rers in a ruin'd Caufe.
By Faction banish'd, here unite,
A Dean, a Spaniard, and a Knight.
Unite; but on Conditions cruel;
The Dean and Spaniard find it too well:
Condemn'd to live in Service hard;
On either Side his Honour's Guard:

The Dean, to guard his Honour's Back,
Muft build a Castle at † Drumlack,

The

*Col. HARRY LESLIE, who ferved and lived long in Spain. + The Irish Name of a Farm the Dean took, and was to build on, but changed his Mind. He called it Drapier's-Hill.

Vide that Poem.

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