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So, because I had been buying Things for my Lady
laft Night, I was resolv'd to tell my Money, to fee if it was
right. Now you must know, because my Trunk has a
very bad Lock, Therefore all the Money I have, (which, God
knows, is a very small Stock,) I keep in my Pocket, ty'd about my Middle,
next my Smock, So, when I went to put up my Purse, as God
would have it, my Smock was unript ; And instead of putting it into my Pocket, down
Then the Bell rung, and I went down to put my
Lady to Bed; And, God knows, I thought my Money was as
safe as my Maidenhead. So, when I came up again, I found my Pocket
feel very light, But when I search'd, and miss'd my Purse, Lord!
I thought, I should have sunk outright: Lord! Madam, says Mary, how d’ye do? Indeed,
faid I, never worse : But
pray, Mary, can you tell what I have done with my Purse! Lord help me, said Mary, I never stirr'd out of
this Place : Nay, said I, I had it in Lady Belty's Chamber,
that's a plain Case.
So, Mary got me to Bed, and cover'd me up warm; However, she stole away my Garters, that I might
do my self no Harm. So, I tumbled and toss'd all Night, as you may
very well think; But hardly ever set my Eyes together, or dept a
Wink. So, I was a-dream'd, methought, that we went and
search'd the Folks round; And in a Corner of Mrs. Duke's Box, ty'd in a
Rag, the Money was found. So, next Morning we told * Whittle, and he fell a
swearing; Then my Dame + Wadgar came, and she, you
know, is thick of Hearing: Dame, said I, as loud as I could bawl, do you
know what a Loss I have had ? Nay, said she, my Lord || Collway's Folks are all
For my Lord § Dromedary comes a Tuesday with
out fail ; Pugh! said I, but that's not the Business that I ail. Says ** Cary, says he, I have been a Servant this
Five and Twenty Years, come Spring; And in all the Places I liv'd, I never heard of such
Earl of BERKELEY's Valet. + The old deaf HouseKeeper.
GALWAY. § DROGHEDA, who with the Primate were to succeed the two Earls.
** Clerk of the Kitchen.
Yes, says the Steward, I remember, when I was ať
my Lady Shrewsbury's, Such a Thing as this happen'd, just about the Time
: full of Grief;
I hate a Thief.)
Pence, makes a great Hole in my Wages; Besides, as they fay, Service is no Inheritance in
these Ages. Now, Mrs. Dukes, you know, and every Body
understands, That tho’ 'tis hard to judge, yet Money can't go
without Hands. The Devil take me, said she, (blessing her felf,) if
ever I saw't! So the roar'd like a Bedlam, as thof I had callid her all to naught :
* A Servant, one of the Foct nen's Wives. + An usual Saying of hers.
So you know, what could I say to her any more?
before. Well: But then they would have had me gone to
the Cunning-Man: No, faid I, 'cis the same Thing, the Chaplain will
be here anon. So the Chaplain came in. Now the Servants say he
is my Sweet-heart, Because he's always in my Chamber, and I always
take his Part; So, as the Devil would have it, before I was aware,
out I blunderd, Parson, said I, can you cast a Nativity, when a
Body's plunder'd ? (Now you must know, he hates to be call'd Parfon
like the Devil.) Truly, says he, Mrs. Nab, it might become you to
be more civil: If your Money be gone, as a learned Divine says,
d'ye see, You are no Text for my handling, fo take that
from me: I was never taken for a Conjurer' before, I'd have
you to know: Lord, said I, don't be angry, I am sure I never
thought you so: You know, I honour the Cloth; I design to be a
Parfon's Wife; I never took one in your Coat for a Conjurer in all With that, he twisted his Girdle at me like a Rope ;
as who should say, Now you may go hang your self for me, and so
went away. Well; I thought, I fhould have swoon'd: Lord,
said I, what fhall I do? I have lost my Money ; and I shall lose my True
love too. So, my Lord call’d me ; * Harry, said my Lord,
I'll give something towards thy Loss: And says
my Lady, so will I. Oh! but said I; what if after all, the Chaplain
won't come to? For that, he said, (an't please your Excellencies,) I
muft petition You.
The Premisses tenderly consider'd, I desire
your Excellencies Protection : And that I may have a Share in next Sunday's Col
lection : And over and above, that I may have your Excel
lencies Letter, With an Order for the Chaplain aforesaid; or in
stead of him a better. And then your poor Petitioner, both Night and Day, Or the Chaplain (for 'cis his Trade,) as in Duty
bound, shall ever pray.
A Cant Word of my Lord and Lady to Mrs. HARRIS.