think of Jesus in a very different light to what I had hitherto done.

I reasoned thus: here is a man leaving all the comforts of life, and devoting himself to the amelioration and instruction of his fellow creatures, shewing in all he did, a superhuman forbearance, patience, meekness, self denial, zeal, and integrity; and what was all this for? was it to aggrandize himself by obtaining wealth, fame, or honour? None of these could have been his object, for 1st, he was poor and needy, he had not where to lay his head; 2nd, he certainly did possess fame, by the miracles he performed, the cures he wrought, and the instruction he gave; yet he well knew it would all lead to his destruction; and 3d, Jesus himself said, "I receive not honour from men." He was not treated as a man who is seeking for honour, he was despised and rejected,―reviled and insulted. The epithets of blasphemer, impostor, and an associate with devils, were continually applied to him, flesh and blood could not have borne the weight of cruelty and scorn that was heaped upon him.

Having reasoned thus with myself, I was so far reconciled to the New Testament as to believe that Jesus of Nazareth was a very ex

cellent man, and endowed with supernatural powers, and had been persecuted because he was too zealous in reforming the abuses of the Jewish church, and too faithful in warning both priest and people of the dangerous consequences which would inevitably befal them, if they persevered in their sinful career.

The haughty bigoted priests, aided by an ignorant and fanatic rabble, sacrificed this good man to their cruelty and ambition, and many a tear have I shed when I have read the history of his sufferings;-and who would not weep for the sorrows of a brave patriot, enduring hunger, thirst, poverty, scorn, and misery, in a variety of forms, and finally undergoing a cruel and ignominious death, for the good of his people. Such were my opinions, and from the little I have heard about Unitarians, (miscalled Christians,) I believe their professed notions of Christ are as low as mine were, in those days of my ignorance.

CHAPTER III.

I HAD heard that Christians believed that a considerable portion of the prophecies of Isaiah related to Jesus, and that they considered them as conclusive evidence that he was the Messiah. I was therefore induced to pursue this most important inquiry. I read the description and character of Jesus in the Gospel, and said to myself, "I will see more minutely what the Holy Spirit, by the mouth of his prophet Isaiah, says concerning the promised Messiah, then I will mark particularly if the Old and New Testament correspond with each other, and whether the New is a continuation of the Old. In the first place I found that the birth of Christ was in exact accordance with Isaiah vii. 14, &c. Chapter xl. of the same, appeared to me to allude to the Messiah, but whether to Jesus or not I could not discover. The fulfilment of chapter xl. appeared clear in John's mission. When I came to chapter xlii. I felt

full of shame, that with such evidence that Jesus of Nazareth is the Redeemer, I should continue longer to doubt. But when I came to the liii. chapter, the character and sufferings of the despised Nazarene were so strongly pourtrayed, that I could say, "almost thou persuadest me to be a Christian."

O the pride and stubborness of the natural heart! Was I convinced of the divinity of our Saviour? No. The God of this world, in the form of an angel of light, darkened my understanding, and still I rejected the Lord of Life and Glory. I have since discovered why the truth, as it is in Jesus, was not clearly manifested to me. It was because I did not inquire prayerfully. I depended upon mere weak intellect, (that intellect which, in common with every other faculty, had partaken of the ruin of the fall,) and did not ask for the assistance of the Holy Spirit to guide me in my search after truth. Still the good seed was sown. I could no longer be a consenting party to the martyrdom of Jesus. I shuddered at hearing his name blasphemed or disrespectfully uttered. I looked upon such Christians, as believed in Christ as their Mediator and Redeemer, as a highly privileged people, both as it regarded

D

their present mental tranquillity and their hopes of future happiness. However strange it may appear, such is the fact, that when in former days, the name of our blessed Redeemer was offensive to me, Christians would address me frequently on the subject of his Messiahship and Divinity, and I was glad when I could avoid them, but when I felt desirous of hearing the opinions of Christ's disciples concerning their Master, I could obtain no information whatever. I found that the greater part of Christians, or rather Gentiles assuming that name, cared no more about Jesus than do Jews or Mussulmen; many, however, I found attending their places regularly on the Lord's day. These, at least, I thought, must be true Christians; I therefore endeavoured to draw their attention to the subject, but I could not find any that felt a real interest even in their own conversion,-much less in that of others. I therefore was led to conclude that there must be a class among Christians, as among the Jews, who rest in the mere external services of religion. This had been the case with myself in my days of Jewish darkness, and it is thus, I fear, with many calling themselves Christians. They observe a round of formal duties, mis