disposition of the human heart, which is deceitful above all things and desperately wicked, and to induce all mankind to live that sober, righteous, and godly life, while in this world, which will terminate in everlasting happiness in the world to come. This While I was a member of College, my religious convictions were strong, my impressions were deep, my conversion was hopeful and joyous, but my views of the doctrines of religion were varient from the Saybrook confession of faith, and the Assembly's Catechism, though at that time an opportunity had not occurred for me to examine any other system. At length I obtained permission to attend, for half a day, divine worship in the Episcopal Church; and although I was a stranger to their church government and worship, yet their doctrine was liberal, and conformable to what I had previously thought. This induced an inquiry into the origin of the religion in which I had been educated, and I found that when our forefathers first came to this country, they came from England; that when they came from England they came from the Church of England, and were Dissenters from that Church. This induced an enquiry into the cause and ground of their separation-into what they gained, and into what they lost. brought to view a subject with which I was wholly unacquainted, viz. the government of the christian church, the authority necessary in the regular and due administration of the sacraments, the articles of the christian faith, and the worship of God, as practised by churchmen and dissenters. About this time appeared the letters of the Rev. Dr. Bowden to president Stiles, on the subject of a leniai succession of Bishops, by a valid ordination, which were not answered. I also read Potter on Church Government, Cave's Lives of the Fathers. Hooker's Ecclesiastical Polity, and many other excellent writers on the part of the church. I also read a history of the Puritans in England, the New-England Memorial, Mather's Magnalia, and the Cambridge and Saybrook Platforms, with such other books as I could find on the part of the disMy earnest endeavor was to learn and know the truth, and that I might have a disposition to act accordingly. At this time, I never had within my knowledge, seen a Bap senters. tist, Methodist, or a Quaker, but was fully satisfied that whoever departed from the government of any society, departed from that society; that whoever departed from the government of the christian church, did. by that very acı, depart from the church, and was in danger of loosing the benefit of all that Christ had done, and suffered for him; that as no one could lawfully act in the name of another without his authority, so no one could lawfully baptize or administer the sacrament or hold forth the terms of life and salvation to a guilty world, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost without authority from God; that this authority could only be obtained in an immediate and extraordinary commission from Heaven, and then immediate and extraordinary works must be produced to prove it, for God never requires his reatures to believe that which he has not given them evidence to believe; or it must be obtainedby a succes sion. To pretend to work miracles, or to produce extraordinary works, was ridiculous and vain ; to claim a succession, authentic documents must be produced to prove it; and this could only be done in the Episcopal church, which included the Greek, Latin, English, and other churches, but not the dissenters from the church of England. Many very able, and pious men and women were among them, but I could not be satisfied, that by their separation from the government, doctrine, and worship of the universal church, they had gained any thing which was honorable to God, or useful to mankind; for in the Episcopal church they might be as able, as amiable, and as pious as they could be in their own way. But they had lost much. I could not but think they were mistaken in separating from the church of England, but at the same time adopted this mode of reasoning, viz. after diligent inquiry and fair examination, I sincerely think that I am right in my religion, but I claim not infallibility-I may be mistaken; if I am, I hope God will forgive me; others may be as sincere in their religion, as I am in mine. If I say that God will not forgive them, how can I expect him to forgive me, if I should hap. pen to be wrong. So that whoever shall pass sentence of condemnation upon his fellow christian, it is a sentence of condemnation passed by himself, upon himself, if he happens to be wrong. True it is, that two things, which are opposite in themselves, cannot both be right at the same time, and every person who differs from me, must think that I am wrong, or that he himself is wrong; and woe unto them who shall make no difference between right and wrong! But let each one say for himself in the language of the Poet, "Let not this weak, unknowing hand, And deal damnation round the land, If I am right, oh! teach my heart If I am wrong, thy grace impart While a member of College, I left the congregational Presbyterian religion, in which my parents and I had been brought up, and joined the Episcopal church; and I did it because I then thought, and now think it was my duty. I thought that the Episcopal church was of divine appointment; that in it the sacraments were administered by divine and undoubted authority; that the doctrines taught in that church were in every point of view honorable to God, and useful to man, and supported by the authority of God's word; that the worship of God in that church did not depend upon the discretion or indiscretion of any one man, and was not as various and as discordant as the tempers, dispositions, and abilities of all those who should lead in their devotions; but was founded upon the temper and disposition of the gos. pel and supported by the authority of the holy scriptures. In this church, there is one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is above all, and through all, and in all, working in due season, that we should bring forth the fruits of a virtuous and good life. Constantly to unite in the same forms of worship has a tendency to bring us all to the same disposition, and a sameness of disposition creates friendship in all beings and in all worlds, (so far as my knowledge extends) and by this, says our blessed Saviour, shall all men know that ye are my disciples, if ye love one another. A PRAYER. "O, Almighty and Everlasting God, who alone can' govern the unruly wills and affections of sinful men, make me, beseech thee, at all times to love those things which thou dost command, and to desire those things which thou dost promise, that so, among the sundry and manifold changes of the world, my heart may surely there be fixed, where true joys are to be found, through Jesus Christ my Lord." Our Father who art in heaven, &c. CHAPTER II. BIOGRAPHICAL SKETCH CONTINUED. I was graduated at Yale College, in New-Haven, Connecticut, in the year 1790; and soon after, was placed under the direction of the Rev. Mr. Jarvis in Middletown, (afterwards bishop Jarvis,) in the study of divinity and ecclesiastical history, and boarded in his family. My situation soon became unpleasant in consequence of his churlish behaviour in his family and neglect to give me suitable instruction. I left his house and was placed under the direction, in my studies, of the Rev. Edward Blakeslee, of North Haven, and the Rev. Doctor Mansfield, of Derby. At this, Mr. Jarvis appeared to be mortified and displeased; his endeavors to excite a disgust against me, in the minds of some of the clergy and laity of the Episcopal Church, were soon communicated to me, and I soon became sensible of the effects of them. Application was made to me, to perform divine service, and to preach, under the direction of the Rev. Doct. Mansfield, in the churches in Waterbury, in Woodbury, and in Salem, which I did to the unanimous approbation of the parishes. But Mr. Jarvis, by the consent of bishop Seabury, soon sent Mr. Hart, then a candidate for the ministry, to take charge of these parishes. This excited uneasiness, and a division among them. I declined performing service there, the church in Salem refused to employ Mr. Hart, and unfriendly feelings were excited. In the year 1791, I attended the Convention or Convocation of the church, in Watertown with a view of being examined and admitted as a candidate, but perceiving the hostile disposition of Mr. Jarvis, and the influence he had gained with some of the clergy, I withdrew without offering myself, or making my intentions known. And wishing to avoid any thing unpleasant, I received letters of recommendation from the Rev. Dr. Mansfield, the Rev. Mr. Blakeslee, and others; also from the church in Branford, Northford, and others, and went into the state of New-York, and commenced a Reader in he churches in Schenectady and Ballston, under the direction of the Rev. Mr. Ellison, of Albany. In this situation, having given notice to the bishop of New York, I remained until the next year, when I was recommended to the said bishop of New York, and standing committee of the church in that state, for deacon's orders, by the Rev. Dr. Mansfield, and the Rev. Mr. Blakeslee, in whose families I had resided, and studied divinity and ecclesiastical history; by the church in Branford, where I had been born and brought up, and where I had been known from my infancy, and where public notice had been given to the congregation, assembled in the church, for public worship on Sunday, the 15th day of April. 1792, that in the month of June, in that year, I should apply to the bishop and standing committee of the church, in the state of New York. to be ordained a deacon, and they were then solemnly called upon in the name of God, if they knew any thing scandalous in ny conduct or character, or any just cause or reason why I should not be ordained, to let it be known within one month, that it might be communicated to the proper authority. I was also recommended as aforesaid, by the church in Northford, by the church in Guilford, by the church in Ballston, and by the church in the city of Schenectady, where I then resided, and by the Rev. Mr. Ellison of Albany, under whose care and direction I had been employed as a reader for about one year; with these recommendations, and my diploma from college. I offered myself to the aforesaid bishop and standing committee, to be examined and ordained a deacon; and on the 18th and 19th days of June, 1792, I was examined by the Right Rev, |