D'Urfey's mockery of the abortive Whig-Feast.

263

drop out of sight most of his violent Tory ditties. He had learnt to back the winning horse, elsewhere than at Newmarket. If he had been charged openly with having turned his coat, honest Tom would have had in readiness a score of excuses; but it might suffice to say, that he had only acted as aldermen, courtiers, statesmen, warriors, and lawyers had done before him, for their own personal profit under pretence of Protestant zeal; and also, that after having been a sincere Yorkist during the time when nefarious schemes for Exclusion were rife, he had not turned his pen or his back against James the Second until that monarch's own conduct had become outragious, destructive of our national liberties, our Church of England, and every sound principle of constitutional government.

W

A Scotch Song, sung at the Artillery Feast, 1682.

"Oons! what noo is the matter! gud feth! 'tis wondrous strange,

The Whiggs do keep such a clatter that nean can pass th' Exchange.

They cry braid, it is pitty, their numbers are no more ;

The Duke does dine in the City!' and muckle they fear his power.
They begin th' awd trick agen, and Cabal like awd Nick agen,
Feast three hundred pound thick agen, sike a height they soar:
Ah, bonny London! thou'rt undone, if e'er thou art in their power.
The wise Old E[arl] with the Spiggot, that never knew rest or ease;1
Ods bread! is grown sike a Bigot, the Nation has his disease.
More I think I could name ye, that makes this raree show,
Bold George, and Politick Tommy, converted by Doctor T.0.2

Both the Sheriffs there should ha bin, met for National Good agen,
[And they seem'd a' richt wud agen,] as they were before,
Ah, bonny London! thou'rt undone, if long thou art in their power.
More, to show us what Ninnys are all such rebellious beasts,
The Cuckolds sent in their guineys to make up this Godly Feast:
Never caring or thinking what insolence was done,

7

14

Or that their Plotting and Drinking should e're be oppos'd so soon.

But when they knew they were barr'd agen, they sent out the Black Guard agen,

All our Bonfires were marr'd agen; ' Slaves did shout and roar :

Ah, bonny London! thou'rt undone, if e're thou art in their power.

21

Right and Royalty governs, which Rebels would overthrow,
They once were fatal to Soveraigns: Ah! let 'em no more be so.
But, to baffle Oppression, inspir'd by Fate divine,
Defend the Crown and Succession, and keep it in the Right Line.
Every Soldier will fight for it, each bold Genius will write for it,
And the Whigs hang in spite for it, losing Regal power:
And bonny London, they're undone, that thought to usurp once more.3

28

[Date, November, 1682. We supply a dropt line.]

There had been a Loyal Feast given by the Artillery Company on 20th of April, 1682, to welcome the Duke of York on his return from Scotland: it was preceded by Dr. Thomas Sprat's Sermon at

1 Shaftesbury. 2 Sir George Treby, Sir Thomas Player, and Titus Oates. 3 Tom D'Urfey has forgotten to keep up his Scotch dialect in this final verse.

264

The "Gay Fop-Monarch" and his Henchmen.

Bow Church. But the present song, exulting over the Whigs having been baffled, belongs to seven months later, when another similar Feast was given by the Artillery Company, the Duke of York again being their guest, on the 28th November, 1682, at Merchant Taylors' Hall.

Once again, the Court was but adopting in reprisal the very system which the disaffected Whigs had often employed to gain popularity and power. Even at Oxford, during the "weeked Parliament" of March 168, Shaftesbury, Russell, Monmouth, and Essex had kept open tables for all comers, to tempt their visitors into sedition by unpaid feasts and revelry.

Shaftesbury's policy of flattering the base vulgar, and making treats or banquets alike the bribe and the disguise of treason, is denounced in "The Loyal Scot; an excellent new Song, to a new Scotch Tune," beginning, "Bread of Gued! I think the Nation's mad." After naming him as "that machine of monstrous policy," and "the voice of all the geudly rabble Mobile," it continues; first on Shaftesbury, and next on Monmouth:

For, like Roman Cataline, to gain his pious ends,
He pimps for au the loose Rebellious Fops in Toon,

And with Treats and Treason daily crams his City Friends,
From the Link-man to the Scarlet-Goon.

And with high debauchery they carry on the Cause,

And geudly Reformation was the Sham pretence :
And religiously defie Divine and Humane Laws,
With obedience to their Rightful Prince.

Then, as Speaker to this Grand Cabal,

[=Aldermen.

16

Old Envy Tony, seated at the head o' th' Board,
His learn'd Oration for Rebellion makes to all,
Applauded and approv'd by ev'ry Factious Lord.
Cully JEMMY then they vote for King,—
Whom curse confound for being sike a senseless Loon!
Can they, who did their lawful Lord unto the Scaffold bring,
Be just to him, that has no Title to the Croon?

[i.e. Monmouth.

24

But they find he's a Blockhead fitted for their use,

A Fool by nature, and a Knave by custom grown;

A Gay Fop-Monarch, that the Rabble may abuse;

And, their business done, will soon Un-throne.

And Jemmy swears and vows, gin he can get the Croon,
He by the Laws of Forty-Ane will guided be;

And profane Lawn-Sleeves and Surplices again must doon,
Then hey for auld PRESBYTERY!

32

To ridicule the seditious rant which found favour among such conventicle politicians some unidentified scribe wrote a poem of eighty-one lines, which is here given from our Trowbesh Collection, as a record of partizan warfare. We need not reproduce all the redundant capitals and italic type of the original.

On the Loyal Apprentices' Feast.

[Held at Merchant Taylors' Hall, London, August 9, 1682.]

TH

He busy Town grew still, and trait'rous Whigs
Had lately chang'd their looks and periwigs,

Left Envy's face behind, and sniv'ling Cant,

And Hectors turn'd, with Loyalists to rant.

I know not which it was, whether they thought

Some Conventicling sǝлoч might there be brought
By strict Devotion to meet a 'Brother;'

Or whether 'twas they scented out some other

Warm zealous game, as pasty, pudding-pie,

Not "Superstitious" now if Whigs be by!

But something 'twas made "Godly'st Men o' th' Nation"
Back-slide a little now for Recreation;

And here's a Penitential Psalm of one

[April 20, 1682.

That tells his Brethren what himself has done
"At Loyal-Feast in Merchant Taylors' Hall,
'Mongst Coxcomb-Lords and worshippers of Baal ;
Whither foolish King and Princes too had sent
Fat Bucks, in Sacrifice to Idols meant!"
Yet 'mongst such fools a Whig can eat and drink,
Whilst h' one thing speaks, and doth another think.
He in deceit can manage cunning slight;

Not so the Tories, they must be down-right,
And naturally are so to all men's sight:

But Whigs with Reservation speak and write,

And far out-do the greatest Jesuite.

Well; "Fools" we must be then, the Whigs will have
For their dear selves the other Sir-name, "Knave."
Then let them hav't, we'll give the Devil his due,
Whig earns it better than Papist, Turk, or Jew:
'Tis but re-counting in Phanatick strain

The foulest crimes, and then they're Saint again.
A fallen Star to-day, perhaps to-morrow
May shine like Lucifer, and from him borrow
A brand or two of his infernal light,

T' intoxicate poor people in the Night.

"New Lights" and new discoveries they bring, Dark-Lanthorn Counsels how to 'buse the King; Make every thing ridiculous appear,

20

That pleases him, or any Loyal Peer.
"The Royal Fam'ly's but a Popish Crew,

And Doctor Crape-Gowns are all Papists too;"

40

266

Loyal Apprentices' Feast, August 9, 1682.

A puny Prayer's the best thing, they can tell ye,
Whilst their Devotion's fixed upon their Belly.
"Loyal Addresses and Abhorrences".

(Quoth Turn-Coat Whig,) are sottish flatteries;
The King delights in Parasites, we see,
And none but Fools can in his favour be;
Dissolving Parliaments deserves damnation,
For keeping Publick Justice from the Nation;
And th' Godly persecuted, 'Las! 'tis worse
Than Tyranny, or Arbitrary force.
Popery is come already! Where be we?
Brethren, stand fast in Christian Liberty!
See how the Loyal Beagles of the Town

Flock from their shops, t' adore the Idol CROWN!
Those silly Curs, that sometimes us'd to help 's,
And foll'w our keen Rebellious Blood-hound Whelps,
They're now declaring for the Royal Cause,
Think Kingly Blood too sacred for our jaws.
Help! now or never, Baxter, Curtis, Care,1
And all True Patriots of our Holy War!

The King and Court can't be more odious made;
Strike now! strike home! or all our Plot's betraid."
Thus far the Whigs; for here the true sense lies
Of all their Libels, Rhithmes, and Forgeries:

And yet they're "Loyal still!" But, ye must know,
"Tis with a Mental Reservation though;

As Brother Poet has at last confest,

[Elk. Settle.

60

Who, if he'd hid this truth, had spoil'd his jest.

Ay, we've experienc'd well what Loyalty

Since 'Forty-One his Brethren-brood and he

Are like to shew; which makes us think, and say,
Old Nick's as True and Loyal too as they.

But you, brave Loyal Youths (that "Fools and Fops "
Are nick-nam'd by the Rebel-rout), your shops

Shall be protected by the sovereign charms

Of Charles and York, and their victorious arms.
With Heaven's assistance, win your selves renown,
Redeem the credit of this Ancient Town;

Say, LONDON'S 'PRENTICES have done the thing,
Joyn'd Zeal to God with Duty to the King?'

1 Richard Baxter, the Noncon. divine, was continually getting into trouble at this time, through not concentrating his attention on spiritual matters, but putting in his oar over-zealously where the political factions waged an inglorious boat-race near Billingsgate. The local dialect was employed "liberally." Langley Curtis, publisher of seditious libels, which Henry Care and others had written for hire and mischief; both mentioned already, see pp. 146, 174, 197.

D'Urfey's Ballad on Shaftesbury's Speech.

267

[We need afterwards refer to the tune Let Oliver now be forgotten: which is virtually the same tune as An old Woman cloathed in grey (see Popular Music p. 456), and known by the name drawn from an unrecovered song called "How unhappy is Phillis in love!" We give here, in preparation, D'Urfey's song on Lord Shaftesbury; printed in the rare New Collection of Songs and Poems by Thomas D'Urfey, Gent., 1683, on p. 52: but it belongs to December, 1680.]

Tony: A Ballad

Made occasionally by reading a late Speech made by a Noble Peer. [TO THE TUNE OF, How unhappy is Phillis in love.]

Lot Brow be and tucson lye rotting, like sons of Phanatical sex,

Et Oliver now be forgotten, his Policy's quite out of doors,

For Tony's grown a Patrician, by voting p.uuup Sedition,
For many years

Fam'd Politician, the Mouth of all Presbyter Peers.

Tony, a Turncoat at Worcester, yet swore he'd maintain the King's Right;
But Tony did swagger and bluster, and never drew Sword on his side:"
For Tony, like an old stallion, had still the pox of Rebellion,
And never was sound;

Like a chamelion, still changing shape, and his ground.

Old Rowley return'd (heaven bless him), from Exile and Danger set free,
Sly Tony made haste to address him, and swore none so Loyal as he :
The king that knew him a Traytor, and saw him squint like a Satyr,
Yet through his grace,

Pardon'd the matter, and gave him since the Purse and the Mace.
And now little Chancellor Tony with honour has feather'd his Wing,
And carefully scrap'd up the Money, but never a Groat for the King.

But Tony's luck was confounded, the Duke soon smoak'd him a Round-head;

From head to heel,

Tony was sounded, and Y[or]k put a spoke in his wheel.

But Tony that frets in his passion, like Boy that has nettled his breech,
Did late in the House take occasion to make a most delicate speech:
He told the King like a crony, ' If e'r he hop'd to have Money,
He must be rul'd ;'

Oh, fine Tony! was ever potent Monarch so school'd.

The King issues forth Proclamation, by learned and loyal Advice,
Bat Tony declares to the Nation The Council will never be wise: '
For Tony rayles at the Papist, yet is himself an Atheist,
Though so precise,

Sneaking and apish: like holy Quack or Priest in disguise.

But Destiny shortly will cross it, for Tony grows gouty and sick,
In spite of his spiggot and fawset, the Statesman must go to Old Nick:

Yet Tony's madder and madder, and M [onmouth] blown like a Bladder,
And others too,1

Who grow gladder, that they great Y[or]k are like to undo.
But now let this Rump of the Law see a Maxim, and so we will part,
Who e're with his Prince is so sawcy, 'tis fear'd, is a Traytor in's heart.
Then Tony cease to be witty, by buzzing Treason i' th' City,

And love the King:

(So ends my ditty) or else may'st thou swing like a dog in a string.

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36

54

72

1 A later version reads "And L

ce too," meaning John, third Lord Lovelace.