CHAPTER IV. 1769-1770. Mrs. . Me "Making Fools of one's Visiters." — Trade. Williams's Tea-table. James Ferguson. dicated Baths. -" Coddling Coddling" Children. Popula tion of Russia. Large Farms. Attachment to Roman Catholic Religion. Conversion to "Tom Soil. Popery. - Steevens. Tyers." Blackmore's "Creation."- The Marriage Service. "The False Alarm." Stockdale. Percival Self-examination. Visit to Lichfield -and Ashbourne. Baretti's Travels.- Letters to Mrs. Thrale - Warton, &c. On the 26th of October, we dined together at the Mitre tavern. I found fault with Foote for indulg ing his talent of ridicule at the expense of his visiters, which I colloquially termed making fools of his company. JOHNSON. "Why, Sir, when you go to see Foote, you do not go to see a saint: you go to see » man who will be entertained at your house, and then bring you on a public stage; who will entertain you at his house, for the very purpose of bringing you on a public stage. Sir, he does not make fools of his company; they whom he exposes are fools already: he only brings them into action." Talking of trade, he observed, "It is a mistaken notion that a vast deal of money is brought into a nation by trade. It is not so. Commodities come from commodities; but trade produces no capital accession of wealth. However, though there should be little profit in money, there is a considerable profit in pleasure, as it gives to one nation the productions of another; as we have wines and fruits, and many other foreign articles, brought to us." Bos WELL. "Yes, Sir, and there is a profit in pleasure, by its furnishing occupation to such numbers of manKind." JOHNSON. "Why, Sir, you cannot call that pleasure, to which all are averse, and which none begin but with the hope of leaving off; a thing which men dislike before they have tried it, and when they have tried it." BOSWELL. "But, Sir, the mind must be employed, and we grow weary when idle." JOHNSON. "That is, Sir, because others being busy, we want company; but if we were all idle, there would be no growing weary; we should all entertain one another. There is, indeed, this in trade; - it gives men an opportunity of improving their situation. If there were no trade, many who are poor would always remain poor. But no man loves labour for itself." BOSWELL. 66 Yes, Sir, I know a person who does. He is a very laborious Judge, and he loves the labour." JOHNSON. "Sir, that is because he loves respect and distinction. Could he have them without labour, he would like it less." Bos"He tells me he likes it for itself." JOHN"Why, Sir, he fancies so, because he is not accustomed to abstract." WELL. SON. We went home to his house to tea. Mrs. Williams made it with sufficient dexterity, notwithstanding her blindness, though her manner of satisfying her ÆTAT. 60. MRS. WILLIAMS'S TEA-TABLE. 103 self that the cups were full enough, appeared to me a little awkward; for I fancied she put her finger down a certain way, till she felt the tea touch it. (1) In my first elation at being allowed the privilege of attending Dr. Johnson at his late visits to this lady, which was like being è secretioribus consiliis, I willingly drank cup after cup, as if it had been the Heliconian spring. But as the charm of novelty went off, I grew more fastidious; and besides, I discovered that she was of a peevish temper. There was a pretty large circle this evening. Dr. Johnson was in very good humour, lively, and ready to talk upon all subjects. Mr. Ferguson, the selftaught philosopher (2), told him of a new-invented machine which went without horses (3): a man who sat in it turned a handle, which worked a spring that drove it forward. "Then, Sir," said Johnson, "what is gained is, the man has his choice whether he will move himself alone, or himself and the machine too." (1) I have since had reason to think that I was mistaken; for I have been informed by a lady, who was long intimate with her, and likely to be a more accurate observer of such matters, that she had acquired such a niceness of touch, as to know, by the feeling on the outside of the cup, how near it was to being full. (2) [James Ferguson was born in Bamff, in 1710, of very poor parents. While tending his master's sheep, he acquired a knowledge of the stars, and constructed a celestial globe. This attracted the notice of some gentlemen, who procured him further instructions. At length, he went to Edinburgh, where he drew portraits in miniature at a small price; and this profession he pursued afterwards, when he resided in Bolt Court. His mathematical and miscellaneous works are comprised in ten volumes. He died Nov. 16. 1776.] (3) ["The very ingenious Mr. Patence, of Bolt Court, has constructed a phaeton which goes without horses, and is built on a principle different from any thing of the kind hitherto attempted."- London Chron. Sept. 11. 1769.] Dominicetti (1) being mentioned, he would not allow him any merit. "There is nothing in all this boasted system. No, Sir; medicated baths can be no better than warm water: their only effect can be that "of tepid moisture." One of the company took the other side, maintaining that medicines of various sorts, and some too of most powerful effect, are introduced into the human frame by the medium of the pores; and, therefore, when warm water is impregnated with salutiferous substances, it may produce great effects as a bath. This appeared to me very satisfactory. Johnson did not answer it; but talking for victory, and determined to be master of the field, he had recourse to the device which Goldsmith imputed to him in the witty words of one of Cibber's comedies: "There is no arguing with Johnson; for when his pistol misses fire, he knocks you down with the but-end of it." He turned to the gentleman (2), "Well, Sir, go to Dominicetti, and get thyself fumigated; but be sure that the steam be directed to thy head, for that is the peccant part." This produced a triumphant roar of laughter from (1) Dominicetti was an Italian quack, who made a considerable noise about this time, by the use of medicated baths. He seems to have been received into fashionable society; for we find that he and his wife were much noticed at the celebrated masquerade, given by the King of Denmark, at the Opera House, on the 10th of October, 1768. Ann. Reg. and Gent. Mag.-C.-[Dominicetti's baths were established in 1765, in Cheyne Walk, Chelsea. He published several pamphlets on the subject; in one of which he states, that he had expended thirty-seven thousand pounds on this speculation. In 1782, he became a bankrupt.] (2) This gentlem in was probably Mr. Boswell himself.-C. ÆTAT. 60. "CODDLING" CHILDREN. 105 the motley assembly of philosophers, printers, and dependants, male and female. I know not how so whimsical a thought came into my mind, but I asked, "If, Sir, you were shut up in a castle, and a new-born child with you, what would you do?" JOHNSON. "Why, Sir, I should not much like my company." BOSWELL. "But would you take the trouble of rearing it?" He seemed, as may well be supposed, unwilling to pursue the subject: but upon my persevering in my question, replied, "Why yes, Sir, I would; but I must have all conveniences. If I had no garden, I would make a shed on the roof, and take it there for fresh air. I should feed it, and wash it much, and with warm water to please it, not with cold water to give it pain." BosWELL. "But, Sir, does not heat relax?" JOHNSON. "Sir, you are not to imagine the water is to be very hot. I would not coddle the child. No, Sir, the hardy method of treating children does no good. I'll take you five children from London, who shall cuff five Highland children. Sir, a man bred in London will carry a burthen, or run, or wrestle, as well as a man brought up in the hardest manner in the country." Boswell. "Good living, I suppose, makes the Londoners strong." JOHNSON. "Why, Sir, I don't know that it does. Our chairmen from Ireland, who are as strong men as any, have been brought up upon potatoes. Quantity makes up for quality." Boswell. "Would you teach this child that I have furnished you with, any thing?" JOHNSON. "No, I should not be apt to teach it." BosWELL. "Would not |