*

muttering to himself, Attic Salt! goes home and runiages his fhop for the Salt. The next time he met F. he told him he had examined his Salts, and found that he had Glauber, and all the other Salts except that particular one, which he concluded was a French Salt; and wifhed he would ask Triftram to put him in the way of procuring fome of it.

Mifs E, fpinfter at York, frequented the prayers at the Minfter regularly twice a day. She was turned of threefcore; and had from infancy been fo ufed to call her mother mama! that when the repeated the 6th verfe of the the 55th pfalm, In fin hath my mother conceived me. She used to chaunt it, In fin hath my ma ma conceived me.

The fame lady, when there was thunder and lightening, used to betake herself to a dark closet, and after she had fhut the door clofe, to repeat this Collect: Lighten our darkness, we beJeech thee, O Lord!

When the religious custom prevailed, and the Clergy taught the public Catechism in the Church, a superstitious old fellow stood up with

the

the boys, and when the Minifter afked him the first question, Who made him? He answered, that it was fo long ago, he had quite forgot!

difcourfe on the heinous fins of chowfing, cheating, and defrauding one's neighbours, unluckily leaned a good deal over the pulpit; when an arch wag remarked, that he had omitted to mention the most monftrous of all, that of overreaching!

The Rector of , preached four fuc. ceffive Sundays upon this text, Peter's Wife's Mother lay fick of a fever, Matthew viii. 14. On the fourth Sunday, when the Rector gave out the text, the Sexton directly went and tolled the bell For he faid it was high time that the fhould depart.

:

4

Lord L. favourite to Queen Elizabeth, was making a large Chafe about Cornbury Park, meaning to enclofe it with pofts and rails; one day as he was estimating the expence, Mr. G. a free spoken man, ftood by and faid, "methinks your Lordship goeth not the cheapest way." "Why, G." faid his Lord

1

fhip." "Marry, my Lord," faid he, "count you but the pofts, for the country will find you railing."

A Welchman being at a Seffions and feeing the prifoners hold up their hands at the bar, related to fome of his acquaintance, that the judges were good fortune-tellers, for if they did but look at their hands, they certainly could tell whether they would live or die.

Lord Bacon, when a gentleman seemed not to approve of his liberality to his retinue, faid to him, "Sir, I am all of a piece, if the head be lifted up the inferior parts of the body must too."

The Master of Requests to Queen Elizabeth had divers times moved for audience and been put off. At laft he came to the Queen in a progrefs, and had on a new pair of boots. The Queen, who loved not the smell of new leather, faid to him, "Fly, floven, thy boots ftink." "Madam," said he, "it is not my new boots that flink, but it is the ftale bills, that I have kept fo long."

Cæfar

Cæfar would fay of Sylla, that he did refign his Dictatorship. Sylla was ignorant of letters, he could not dictate.

Some Bucks, being in a merry mood at the Inn of Kirkstal Abbey near Leeds, agreed to give the Innkeeper a new fign; which was accepted of, the fubject was the Star and Garter; the motto, To PEIPON (Greek, i. e. The best poffible). The country people read it, to RIPON, and fo jog on the contrary road.

An Itinerant Painter ftaid fo long at a country Inn, that, tho' willing to depart, he had not money wherewithal to defray his lodging. So the Landlord, not willing to fubfcribe to a bad debt, fettled it with him, that he should paint him a new fign. The subject, a Bear; and the price, a guinea. But the Painter faid if the bear had a chain drawn round about his neck (and which he faid he would advise him to) it would cost half a guinea more. The Hoft was not agree. able to this extra expence. Accordingly the fign was painted, and the Painter went his ways; when the rain defcended and washed away the bear. Some time after, the Innkeeper met the Painter on the road, and faid he had impofed

upon

upon him, for that the bear was fled. "Look ye here," replied the painter, "did not I advise you to have the chain about his neck; which, if it had taken place he would have remained there ftill.'

A French Miffionary catechizing the Indians, in America, and expounding the Christian Doctrine, they fell upon him unawares and threatened they would roaft him alive if he would not explain to them the mystery of the Trinity. How three perfons could be the fame in one! On which he took a glafs full of water, a cup full of fnow, and a piece of ice; which unfolded to them, tho' they were all different in fpecie, they were the fame in fubftance. Which favourable

expofition faved his life.

Queen Caroline died of a mortification in her bowels, and her body was twisted with towels; the ufual method practifed in that diforder. As the would not be reconciled to her fon even on her death bed; it occafioned an eminent poet to write the following lines:

Here lies wrapt up in twenty towels,
The only proof that Caroline had bowels.