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this will be a warning to you in future, not to preach three Sundays upon one and the fame text."

A Fellow of Trinity College, Cambridge, on the eve of his departure from the University, preached at St. Mary's, upon these words, Have patience with me, and I will pay you all, And owing a great fum of money in the town, enlarged mightily on the first part of the text, Have patience, &c. Now, fays he, I fhould come to the fecond part, and I will pay you all; but having preft too long on your patience, I must leave that till the next opportunity; fo pray have patience with me!

A Physician travelled in Cambridgeshire, and found the roads fo inacceffible around a town, that he repaired to the rector of the parish, and exclaimed, "Ah Sir !" fays he, "You may preach long enough, but your parishioners will never mend their ways."

A Welch Parfon in his difcourfe told his congregation "how kind and refpectful we fhould be one to another," and faid, "that we were even inferior to brutes in that point." He brought

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brought in an example of two goats, which met one another upon a very narrow bridge, over a river, fo that they could not pass by without: one thrusting the other off. "Now how do you think did they do? I'll tell you: One laid him down and let the other leap over him. Ah! beloved, let us live like goats."

The Rev Dr. Sherlock, at dinner on a faft day, asked his wife for fome butter, "truly, husband," fays fhe, "here is as much as you can have, unless you fwear, and then I can afford you more N B. He was a Non-juror, and would not take the oaths; whence the faying, "Enough to make a parfon fwear."

A link boy afked Dr. Burges, the preacher, if he would have a light, "No, child," fays the Doctor, "I am one of the lights of the world." "I wish then," replied the boy, "you was hung up at the end of our alley, for we live in a devilish dark one."

A fellow, in King James's time, feeing Sir James B. in liquor, spoke this verse extempore: Here lye the fubpœna-laws and the test, And here lies Sir J. B. as drunk as a beast.

His late Majefty, George II, asked Admiral D. what the fea-phrase "keel.hauling" meant.. The Admiral anfwered, "It was undergoing a Hard-fhip."

Orator Henley, of facetious memory, famous for his harangues, when he addreffed the brewers, he filed them, Viri. Cel-e Ber. imi, the diftillers, Viri. Cel-e Brandi.

One faid, of all the prifons in the world, fhould his fate carry him to one, he should prefer Newgate, as the prifoners there had their freedom. N. B. It is fet apart for the citizens of London.

A gentleman was reproached for voting at an election, against his confcience; "the charge is falfe," faid he, "for I never had a confcience."

King George II. of glorious memory, commanded at the battle of Dettingen, and his horfe ran away with him into the French lines, on which his Majesty alighted, and charged the enemy on foot; "for," faid the King, "tho' my horfe runs away with me, I am fure my legs will not."

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the daughter of Mr., who drove ftage coaches, and reputed a jacobite, happened to be feated in the ftage box at the theatre at York; the box was already taken by a Mrs. F. and, on the latter's entrance, fome altercation enfued, till Mrs. F. recollecting herself, faid, "fhe could not difpute it with one who had an hereditary Right to the box."

Mr. C. dancing at the York Affembly with Mifs Bacon; after the dance they fat down in the Love-Corner, fo called at the Rooms, when one of the dancers came up and afked C. why he faved himself, and did not fstand up; he made anfwer, "he did not want to fave himself, but to fave his Bacon."

Cardinal Tempe, the Pope's Nuncio at Lisbon, on a visit to a Portuguese Nobleman, repeated often, "Fa Caldo," the Italian phrafe, 'tis very hot. The fervant miftaking the meaning, carried him a mefs of broth. N. B. Caldo, in the Portuguese language, is broth.

A Ruffian Countefs perfecuted by her creditors for debt, on the porter's acquainting her Excellency the poorer fort attended at the

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gate; fhe ordered the fervant to go into the next room and fetch a bag of copper money, and throw it out of the window, and while they were fcrambling for it to let loofe a bear at them.

The prize at the Club of Catches and Glees, a gold, medal, for the most ancient catch, was won by Lord S. repeating the following extempore :

Adam caught Eve by the Furbelow,
And that's the oldeft catch I know.

A Bishop prayed for rain without fuccefs, which put him into fuch a paffion, that he threw the weatherglass down upon the floor; on which a fpectator obferved, he was glad to see the glafs fallen fo low!

A woman brought an action against her husband for bigamy, which was set aside by her proving a trigamy. He had married three wives and fhe was his fecond.

There is a fign at a peruke-maker's on the London road;-Abfalom hanging on a tree,

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