of unity of feeling, design, and action, every thing in a family must inevitably go wrong; and coldness and gloom, if not distrust. and discord, will be guests, where quiet, peace, tranquillity, mutual regard and confidence ought to reign with unbroken sway. Quietness under our own roof, and quiet in our own consciences, are blessings of unknown value, for the want of which nothing can atone. "Abroad," says an admirable writer, we must more or less find tribulation; yet, as long as our home is a secure and peaceful retreat from all the disappointments and cares which we meet with in that great scene of vexation, the world, we may still be tolerably happy. But, if that which should be our main sanctuary from uneasiness becomes our principal disquietude, how great must our uneasiness be. There cannot be a greater curse, than to have those of one's own household one's greatest foes; when we neither can live happily with them, nor must think of living apart from them." Again, "To see a wellregulated family, acting as if they were one body informed by one soul, where, if one member suffers, all the members suffer with it; to see those who are embarked together in one bottom, whose interests are inseparably united, and therefore whose hearts ought to be so too, acting in concert, adopting each other's cares and making them their own, uniting their friendly beams, and jointly promoting the common happiness, is a beautiful scene, and amiable even in the sight of that Being, who maketh men to be of one mind in a house. How joyful a thing it is for brethren to dwell together in unity." How just a picture does our Saviour draw, when he says, "Every kingdom divided against itself is brought to desolation; and every city or house divided against itself shall not stand."+ Party distraction, conflicting interests and passions, abuse and violence, strife and bitterness, are sometimes sufficiently afflictive in kingdoms, commonwealths, and cities; but in families, when once they break forth, they rage with ten-fold virulence and mischief. "When peace and tranquillity are banished from all places else on the earth, the condition of life still remains tolerable, while harmony presides around the domestic altar."‡ * Jeremiah Seed's Sermons, Vol. I. pp. 39, 44. See Bishop Jeremy Taylor's Sermons, Vol. I. p. 323. Matt. xii. 25. 2. The other particular deemed worthy of special illustration, respects the precedence assigned in the Scriptures to the husband, and the corresponding obedience which the wife is enjoined to render to his wishes and commands. This particular is intimately connected with the preceding, inasmuch as differences of opinion and inclination must sometimes inevitably exist between persons in married life; and it ought to be settled and understood beforehand, which party shall, in the last resort, give way. On this particular, St. Chrysostom says, "Equality breeds contention, and one of the two must be superior, or else both would strive perpetually for the dominion. Wherefore," continues he, "the laws of God and the wisdom of all nations have given the superiority to the husband." * Reason and Scripture then concur in claiming precedence for the husband in this respect; and, moreover, this claim rests on the substantial grounds of greater experience and knowledge of the world, a superior education in most instances, and much greater responsibility in providing for the wants and meeting the expectations of a family. But, in using this precedence with which the husband is invested, let him remember, as Bp. Jeremy Taylor well says, that "A husband's power over his wife is paternal and friendly, not magisterial and despotic. The wife is under perpetual guardianship (in perpetuâ tutelâ), under conduct and counsel; for the power a man hath is founded in the understanding, not in the will or force; it is not a power of coercion, but a power of advice, and that government that wise men have over those who are fit to be conducted by them." says, "The husband and wife in the family are as the sun and moon in the firmament of heaven; he rules by day, and she by night, that is, in the lesser and more proper circles of her affairs, in the conduct of domestic provisions and necessary offices, and shines only by his light and rules by his authority; and as the moon in opposition to the sun shines brightest, that is, then when she is in her own circles and separate regions, so is the authority of the wife then most conspicuous, when she is separate and in her proper sphere." Again he Quoted in Bishop Brownell's Commentary on the Book of Common Prayer, p. 379. And further, "Concerning the woman's duty, it consists in doing whatsoever her husband commands, and so receives measures from the rules of his government. Her first duty is obedience, which, because it is nowhere enjoined that the man should exact of her, but often commanded to her to pay, gives demonstration that it is a voluntary cession that is required; such a cession, as must be without coercion and violence on his part, but on fair inducements and reasonableness in the thing, and out of love and honor on her part." Again he says, quaintly enough, as elsewhere, "It is modesty to advance and highly to honor them who have honored us (women) by making us to be the companions of their dearest excellences; for the woman, that went before the man in the way of death, is commanded to follow him in the way of love; and that makes the society to be perfect, and the union profitable, and the harmony complete." Moreover he says, "A wife never can become equal but by obeying ; but so her power, while it is in minority, makes up the authority of the man integral, and becomes one government, as themselves are one man. "She that hath a wise husband, must entice him to an eternal dearness by the veil of modesty and the grave robes of chastity, the ornament of meekness, and the jewels of faith and charity; she must have no coloring but blushings, her brightness must be purity, and she must shine round about with sweetnesses and friendship, and she shall be pleasant while she lives, and desired (lamented) when she dies." It would have been wrong, not to have availed myself of the authority of this celebrated divine, whose sentiments are as excellent as his style is copious and happy.† SECTION II. The relation of parents and children is the next of the domestic relations in intimacy, and the mutual duties growing out of it are of the utmost importance. Children are universally felt to be the first hope and highest interest of their parents. They bear their names, reflect their qualities, and are destined to inherit * Sermons on the Wedding Ring. ↑ See Brown's Philosophy of the Human Mind, Vol. III. pp. 377 – 383. their estates, when they shall be called away from the stage of life. In the order of nature, too, parents are to be laid in their final resting-place by the hands of their children, and the keeping of the reputation they have left behind them, is to be committed to their guardianship. Parents look to their children for very much of their happiness in life, and as the chief source of their comfort in declining years. Moreover, children are the hope of the commonwealth, which looks to them for its future citizens; and they are equally the hope of the church, which sees in them its future defenders, pillars, and ornaments. On the other hand, children are indebted to their parents for their existence, for nurturing and cherishing their infancy, and where parental duties have been suitably performed, for their education, for giving them a right direction and settlement in life, and for bringing them forward advantageously on the stage of human affairs. 1. The chief duties of parents to their children which it is necessary for me to notice are, then, education, in the most extensive sense of that term, and including parental advice, — some aid in the settlement of them for life, and the rightful and judicious distribution by parents of their estates among their children at their death. Education embraces many objects besides the mere knowledge of books, however necessary and valuable this knowledge may be. Milton says, "I call a complete and generous education, that which fits a man to perform justly, skilfully, and magnanimously, all the offices, both private and public, of peace and war. Dr. Watts understands the suitable education of children to consist in "the instruction of them in those things, which are necessary and useful for them in their rank and station, and that with regard to this world and the world to come."† But it may be well to be more particular. Every man, whatever walk of life he may pursue, requires a good constitution of body; and very much of the attention of parents must be given, during a considerable number of the * Letter to Master Samuel Hartlib on Education. + Improvement of the Mind, p. 306. earliest years of their children, to their physical education, to the unfolding, strengthening, and maturing of their physical powers, by suitable diet, air, and exercise. The usefulness and happiness of many a man has been destroyed, or greatly impaired, by a feeble constitution of body entailed upon him by the neglect of his physical education. "Better is the poor," says the Son of Sirach, "being sound and strong of constitution, than a rich man that is afflicted in his body. Health and good estate of body are above all gold, and a strong body above infinite wealth. There is no riches above a sound body, and no joy above the joy of the heart. Death is better than a bitter life, or continual sickness."* A constitution, firm and vigorous to withstand exposure, and proof against the ordinary inlets of disease, is, in truth, of itself a fortune, and can only be obtained by inuring the body to the severe training of exercise, labor, and fatigue, in early youth. The formation of the manners, too, on which usefulness and happiness in life so much depend, is a part of what parents owe their children in the way of education. An early familiarity with the forms of social intercourse, an address uniting dignity with ease, confidence without arrogance, simplicity and naturalness without rudeness, and refined cultivation without affectation, are of immense advantage in the intercourse with the world which every one must continually hold. A well-disciplined temper, and complete subjection of the appetites, passions, and affections to reason and conscience, are essential to personal comfort, to usefulness and to ordinary respectability, and should be the object of early parental solicitude and watchful care. Moral and religious impressions, or their opposite, are very early made on the minds of children, and the seeds of moral habits are very early sown, which grow up and bear fruit of a good or evil kind, in the joyful or disastrous increase of a hundred fold. important part, too, of the moral education of children is, to guard them against injurious prejudices, antipathies, and prepossessions, and to enlist their affections and sympathies on the side of truth and duty. But a man's principles are the basis of his character, An |