WHAT Various Ways our Females take,
To pass for Wits before a Rake!
And, in the fruitless Search, pursue
All other Methods but the true.

SOME try to learn polite Behaviour, By reading Books against their Saviour. Some call it witty, to reflect

On ev'ry natural Defect;

Some fhew, they never want explaining,
To comprehend a double Meaning,

But, fure a Tell-tale out of School

Is, of all Wits, the greatest Fool:
Whose rank Imagination fills

Her Heart, and from her Lips diftills;
You'd think the utter'd from behind,
Or at her Mouth were breaking Wind,

?

WHY is a handfome Wife ador'd
By every Coxcomb, but her Lord?
From yonder Puppet-man inquire,
Who wifely hides his Wood and Wire:
Shews Sheba's Queen compleatly dress't,
And Solomon in Royal Veft:

But,

But, view them litter'd on the Floor,

Or, ftrung on Pegs behind the Door;

Punch is exactly of a Piece

With Lorraine's Duke, and Prince of Greece.

A PRUDENT Builder should forecaft

How long the Stuff is like to last;
And, carefully obferve the Ground,
To build on fome Foundation found:
What House, when its Materials crumble,
Muft not inevitably tumble?

What Edifice can long endure,
Rais'd on a Bafis unfecure?

Rash Mortals, e'er you take a Wife,
Contrive your Pile to laft for Life:

Since Beauty scarce endures a Day,
And Youth fo fwiftly glides away;
Why will you make your felf a Bubble
To build on Sand, with Hay and Stubble?

ON Senfe and Wit your Paffion found,
By Decency cemented round;

Let Prudence with good Nature ftrive,
To keep Efteem and Love alive.

Then,

Then, come old Age whene'er it will,
Your Friendship fhall continue ftill:

And, thus a mutual gentle Fire,

Shall never but with Life expire.

A quibbling ELEGY on the Worshipful Judge BO AT.

T

Written in the Year 1723.

Ö mournful Ditties, Clio, change thy Note, Since cruel Fate hath funk our Juftice Boat; Why should he fink where nothing feem'd to prefs? His Lading little, and his Ballaft lefs.

Toft in the Waves of this tempeftuous World,
At length, his Anchor fixt, and Canvas furl'd,
To * Lazy-Hill retiring from his Court,
At his Ring's-End he founders in the Port.
With

Water fill'd he could no longer float,
The common Death of many a ftronger Boat.

A Post fo fill'd, on Nature's Laws entrenches, Benches on Boats are plac't, not Boats on Benches.

* Two Villages near the Sea, where Boatmen and Seamen live. It was faid he dy'd of a Droply.

And

And yet our Boat, how fhall I reconcile it?

Was both a Boat, and in one Sense a Pilat.
With ev'ry Wind he fail'd, and well cou'd tack:
Had many Pendents, but abhor'd a* Jack.

He's

gone, although his Friends began to hope That he might yet be lifted by a Rope.

BEHOLD the awful Bench on which he fat, He was as bard, and pond'rous Wood as that: Yet, when his Sand was out, we find at last, That, Death has overfet him with a Blaft. Our Boat is now fail'd to the Stygian Ferry, There to fupply old Charon's leaky Wherry: Charon in him will ferry Souls to Hell; A Trade, our Boat had practic'd here fo well. And, Cerberus hath ready in his Paws, Both Pitch and Brimstone to fill up his Flaws; Yet, fpight of Death and Fate, I here maintain We may place Boat in his old Poft again. The Way is thus; and well deferves your Thanks : Take the three ftrongest of his broken Planks, Fix them on high, confpicuous to be seen, Form'd like the Triple-Tree near † Stephen's-Green;

*A Cant Word for a Jacobite.

a Fudge.

And,

In banging People as

+ Where the Dublin Gallows ftands.

And, when we view it thus, with Thief at End

We'll cry; look, here's our Boat, and there's the

HE

Pendent.

The EPITAPH.

ERE lies Judge Boat within a Coffin.
Pray gentle-Folks forbear your Scoffing.
A Boat a Fudge! yes, where's the Blunder?
A wooden Fudge is no fuch Wonder.
And in bis Robes, you must agree,
No Boat was better deckt than He.
'Tis needless to defcribe him fuller.
In fhort, he was an able* Sculler.

* Query, Whether the Author meant Scholar, and wilfully miftook?

The