Now Love is dwindled to Intrigue,
And Marriage grown a Money-League.
Which Crimes aforefaid, (with her Leave)
Were (as he humbly did conceive)
Against our Sov'reign Lady's Peace,
Against the Statute in that Cafe:
Against her Dignity and Crown.
Then pray'd an Answer, and fat down.
THE Nymphs with Scorn beheld their Foes
When the Defendant's Council rofe;
And, what no Lawyer ever lack'd,
With Impudence own'd all the Fact:
But, what the gentleft Heart would vex,
Laid all the Fault on t'other Sex.
That modern Love is no fuch Thing,
As what thofe antient Poets fing;
A Fire celeftial, chaste, refin'd,
Conceiv'd and kindled in the Mind;
Which, having found an equal Flame,
Unites, and both become the fame
In different Breafts together burn,
Together both to Ashes turn.
But Women now feel no fuch Fire;
And only know the grofs Defire:
Their Paffions move in lower Spheres,
Where-e'er Caprice or Folly steers:
A Dog, a Parrot, or an Ape,
Or fome worse Brute in human Shape,
Engrofs the Fancies of the Fair,
The few foft Moments they can fpare,
From Vifits to receive and pay;
From Scandal, Politicks, and Play;
From Fans, and Flounces, and Brocades,
From Equipage and Park-Parades;
From all the Thousand Female Toys;
From every Trifle that employs
The Out or Infide of their Heads,
Between their Toylets and their Beds.
In a dull Stream, which moving flow,
You hardly fee the Current flow;
If a small Breeze obstructs the Course,
It whirls about for want of Force;
And in its narrow Circle gathers
Nothing but Chaff, and Straws, and Feathers:
The Current of a Female Mind
Stops thus, and turns with ev'ry Wind;
Thus whirling round, together draws
Fools, Fops, and Rakes, for Chaff and Straws.
Hence we conclude, no Women's Hearts
Are won by Virtue, Wit, and Parts :
Nor are the Men of Senfe to blame,
For Breasts incapable of Flame;
The Fault must on the Nymphs be plac'd,
Grown fo corrupted in their Tafte.
THE Pleader having spoke his beft,
Had Witness ready to attest;
Who fairly could on Oath depofe,
When Questions on the Fact arose,
That ev'ry Article was true;
Nor further thofe Deponents knew;
Therefore he humbly would infist,
The Bill might be with Cofts difmift.
THE Caufe appear'd of fo much Weight,
That Venus, from her Judgment-Seat,
Defir'd them not to talk fo loud,
Elfe she must interpofe a Cloud;
For if the Heav'nly Folk fhould know
These Pleadings in the Courts below,
That Mortals here difdain to love;
She ne'er could fhew her Face above;
For Gods, their Betters, are too wife
To value that which Men despise;
And then, faid fhe, my Son and I,
Must strole in Air 'twixt Land and Sky;
Or elfe, fhut out from Heaven and Earth,
Fly to the Sea, my Flace of Birth;
There live with daggl'd Mermaids pent,
And keep on Fish perpetual Lent.
BUT fince the Cafe appear'd fo nice,
She thought it best to take Advice.
The Muses, by their King's Permiffion,
Tho' Foes to Love, attend the Seffion;
And on the Right Hand took their Places
In Order; on the Left, the Graces?
To whom she might her Doubts propofe
On all Emergencies that rose.
The Muses oft were seen to frown;
The Graces half afham'd look down;
And 'twas obfery'd, there were but few,
Of either Sex, among the Crew,
Whom she or her Affeffors knew.
The Goddess foon began to see
Things were not ripe for a Decree;
And said, she must confult her Books,
The Lovers Fleta's, Brattons, Cokes.
Firft, to a dapper Clerk he beckon'd,
To turn to Qvid, Book the Second:
She then referr'd them to a Place
In Virgil (vide Dido's Cafe :)
As for Tibullus's Reports,
They never pass'd for Law in Courts;
For Cowley's Briefs, and Pleas of Waller,
Still their Authority was smaller,
THERE was on both Sides much to say ; She'd hear the Caufe another Day;
And fo fhe did, and then a Third:
there fhe kept her Word;
But with Rejoinders and Replies,
Long Bills, and Answers, stuff'd with Lies;
Demur, Imparlance, and Effoign,
The Parties ne'er could Iffue join:
For Sixteen Years the Cause was spun,
And then stood where it firft begun.
Now, gentle Clie, fing or fay, What Venus meant by this Delay.
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