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lawful calling, which would bring me into | had respecting my having preached; and reproach, as well as the cause of God. many fears arose in my mind that I acted And further, I thought I was justified in presumptuously in so doing, which led me abandoning all thoughts of the ministry, to examine the word of God, and my own because I felt no heart for it, neither had I heart, as to my motives : and I could appeal been favoured in reading and meditation as to God, that all that I had in view was his heretofore. Thus I came to a conclusion, glory, and the good of sinners; not to live that I would never attempt to preach again ; an idle life, nor for the sake of filthy lucre. and was much pleased with the idea, that I I could not fix guilt on my conscience for had got rid of a burden which had so sorely having preached; for I concluded, that if it tried me. I now pleased myself with the is a moral duty for every man to do good thought of being a hearer, and anticipated unto his neighbour, it was the duty of every much pleasure in hearing Dr. Hawker and saved sinner to speak to his brother of the others, that might fall in my way.
things which God had taught him by his “Now all appeared right. I was going blessed Spirit; and if it was right to speak to have comfortable Lord's days--hear the of Christ and his precious name to one it word with my wife, and talk over the things was to twenty, when urged by his brethren, of God at home-have spiritual refreshment according to the ability that God giveth. Í and rest for the body after the fatigues of am still of the same mind on that subject; the week, and be quite ready for the toils of but let every brother in Christ wait till he is the next week. This was my golden dream ; called upon. “A man's gift maketh room but it was painted in water colours, and it for him.' soon washed out. I attended chiefly on Dr. "I was now in a great straight, for I was Hawker's ministry at this time, whose word cut off from preaching, and had no pleasure had been much blessed to me in former in hearing, neither did I enjoy that anticitimes, as I have stated; but alas ! I could pated pleasure in solitude at home which I seldom hear him now with any sort of plea- dreamed of. I felt now in a worse condition sure: he appeared to me to be a different than ever ; and in this state, my heart often preacher to what he had been; he dwelt fretted against the Lord. But no one knew much upon the great and precious doctrines the sore trials of my mind; I had learned of the gospel, as the doctrines of the Trinity that it was a vain thing to iy to creatures
-the person of Christ as Mediator-his for help. complete atonement for the sins of the elect “One Lord's day, as I came out of church, - the saints' glorious union with Christ, a man, who had been a preacher with myself, and their completeness in him, the head; all in the villages, but who had now declined which I approved of, for I had tasted their preaching, came up to me, and seemed sweetness. But his ministry was not adapted highly pleased to see me. After a few words for me at this time; neither do I think that had passed, he said, ' So you have given up his ministry, generally, was calculated for preaching, as well as myself, I understand !' those whom the Lord sees fit to try as by At his remark, I paused, while I felt the fire fire.
burning within my bones ; and as soon as I “ After I have heard the word, I have met could adjust my thoughts I said, “No, my in the churchyard with many I knew, and friend ; I am laid up just to refit, but I shall they used to be delighted with what they preach again yet, and as long as I have a had heard. Many of those persons, I have tongue capable of speaking. He appeared not the shadow of a doubt, felt the power of astounded, and left me. After I had reGod under the Doctor's ministry. Some, Iplied to him, I began to think what could then feared, were rejoicing in his light; for induce me to speak so positive to the man ; their general conduct was not becoming the | but I could not account for it; it was the gospel ; and my fears were confirmed sub- impulse of the moment; but I was detersequently. The Doctor sowed good seed, mined to watch the result. During the and the enemy sowed tares. I was at length week my mind was more comfortable, and I so provoked and tried with my barren hear- was more fruitful in meditation; and before ing, and the people's general rejoicing, that the next Lord's day, I received a pressing I determined to stop and speak to no one, if invitation to preach, and refuse I could not. I could avoid it. Sometimes I used to get Thus, God's hand appeared to me in a most so angry with the preacher, as if I must conspicuous way. I had God's approbation leave the place: then, again, I used to think, in preaching ; nor have I been in silence if God had sent me to preach, I could preach from that day, when called upon to preach, better than he ; and after that I used to be if I had health." reproved for my pride and presumption.
(To be Continued.) Thus my golden dream all vanished; and in this state of silence, rebellion, and misery, [Many interesting particulars connected with I continued the best part of one year. HENRY FOWLER's Life and Ministry, will
“During this period, many thoughts I be found (D.v.) in future numbers.]
A Divine Call to the Ministry of the work; and the only comfort I could gather Gospel.—No. 1.
as a support against the awful apprehensions
that were applied to my conscience from the FEELING a growing desire to render the latter part of the above passage, (together Earthen Vessel increasingly useful, we with that mentioned in Acts xx. 26, 27.) purpose to give, from time to time, the
the were, that God was able to uphold me, and testimonies of acknowledged ministers
willing to supply me, (if he intended to
il make me a minister) with wisdom and matter of Jesus Christ, concerning their call mited to
concerning their care suited to the greatness of the work; nor had to, their usefulness in, and their trials I a moment's ease in my conscience while I arising out of, the Ministry of the Gospel. I kept back from relating to others the work Perhaps some of our readers, who are of God upon my soul; and still when I persons of research, will render us a little thought of going forwards I was equally assistance in this department of our work. harassed with such thoughts as the followWe commence by giving
ing: 'You are not called of God to the SAMUEL LANE'S CALL TO THE MINISTRY.
work ; your message will never be accepted,
| either by God or man ; your ministry will Samuel Lane in his work, entitled never be useful; your friends, who profess to “ An Ambassador of Peace, from the know God, will despise you; you will become Prince of Life to the Citizens of Zion,” the butt of ridicule; the ministers who are tells us that he was born on the 9th of called of God, will have nothing to do with September 1773 At Whanload near you; seeing all such have the Scriptures
unfolded to them at one view, so that it is Holbeach, in Lincoln, of poor but in
| impossible for them to err; many passages dustrious parents. His Christian Ex
| you are ignorant of, and will be permitted to perience is detailed with clearness and go mad in studying their import; you had certainty. He has been for many years, I better give up all thoughts of going forward and still is, labouring in the town of on such an errand of importance. These Hull. Of his call to preach the Gospel, arguments had a considerable weight on my he says,
mind, and I have frequently determined to “ The first powerful impressions on my think no more about it, concluding, that if mind, relative to engaging in the work of the God intended me for the work, he would not Ministry, arose from a feeling sense I had of suffer such things to crowd in upon my the Lord's gracious dealings with my soul, or mind, to keep me back, yet do all I could the work of his grace felt, known, and en- against it; and all that the devil could do to joyed in my heart; slaying its carnal enmity; persuade me from thinking about it, I soon subduing its rising corruption ; binding the found it impossible (either for the devil, the old man of sin ; destroying the power of corruptions of my own heart, or the fearful unbelief within me ; breaking off the fetters apprehensions that continually troubled and of darkness from my mind; giving me a dis- perplexed me.) to do anything against the covery of my nakedness, and the wounded | truth. condition of my filthy soul; applying the “Another thing that strongly impressed my blood of Christ to my sin-burdened con- mind with a necessity of entering into the science; administering to my heart a sweet ministry was, from a view I had of the oppo. sense of his pardoning love, and enabling me sition to the real truth, which I discovered in gratefully to acknowledge his grace-good- those persons who professed to know the ness towards me, I felt a strong inward in- Lord and believe the gospel; I evidently clination to tell others what God had done found that the religion wherein they trusted for me ; feeling, at the same time, a great was only a form without the power. I was backwardness, lest I should run before I was truly grieved to hear the Divinity of Christ sent; and God should say unto me, 'Who denied; electing love despised; imputed hath required this at your hands ?'
righteousness scoffed at; eternal justification “I had now great strugglings within, con-called eternal nonsense, and represented as a cerning the work of the ministry; I viewed dangerous doctrine ; the final perseverance of it as a work of the greatest solemnity and of the saints laughed at; so that instead of the the most awful importance! I trembled at doctrines of the ever blessed gospel, every the idea of touching the ministry, and yet doctrine repugnant thereto advanced and incould not help secretly wishing to engage sisted on, such as universal redemption, freetherein ; yet, whenever I thought of going will (or power in man to turn to God whenforward, that portion in Ezek. iii. 18. always ever he might think proper), progressive presented itself to my view; and I have fre- sanctification (or inherent holiness), moral quently been alarmed at my seeming pre-obedience to the law of God, (or justification sumption, and have entreated the Lord that by works); a possibility of finally falling from he would remove all such thoughts from my grace, and the duty of all men to have faith mind, if so be he had not intended me for the in Christ. These, with such like erroneous tenets, were continually sounded in my ears, grace-goodness, in thus protecting and prewhich grieved and vexed my soul, knowing serving me from falling into the bottomless and being inwardly assured that God was pit of eternal misery. By the sun shining so against them; his word refuted them; his very bright at the end of the rouge road, people, who knew him, hated and detested represented the glorious brightness of the them; and all who were savingly acquainted Sun of Righteousness shining both upon me with the opposite to them, would openly and the work I should be engaged in. The oppose them, and publicly expose them. I, bull represented the devil in his malice and therefore, again entreated the Lord of the implacable hatred to, and the determination harvest to enable me to say something against the work I should be called unto. publicly in defence of those truths so much The broken hedge represented the broken despised by the enemies thereto; and so body of Christ, which is a sure and safe much loved and enjoyed by the believers and retreat for all the elect, from the rage and lovers thereof who, through the happy influ. malice of the roaring lion. The elevated ence they have on the minds of such, cannot path-way I believed to be the path for the fail to speak of them to the glory of their hypocrites to walk on, as it is evident they author, in the face of men and devils. * • know nothing about the rough travels of
“ About this time I had the first visit from God's Israel; having all things smooth and God, in the night season, relative to my call easy for them. to the ministry.
“On the night following I had the same “I thought I was led by a female, on a dream again, only with this difference, there very long road, stone blind; and when I was no bull on the middle bank, but in lieu came to the end thereof, was immediately thereof, was a vast number of sheep-one restored to sight; I then took a survey of my half dead, and the other half alive! being com. past journey ; the day appeared beautiful missioned by a person who then and there beyond description, the sun shone in its made his appearance, to raise the dead ones meridian, and I had a clear view of the path up, I did so ; and as fast as I lifted them up I had come on, which was very rugged, much they became alive! I continued in this exresembling a stiff clay road, trod on by ercise until wearied, and mach fatigued was horses, immediately after a steeping rain, and obliged to desist ; nor do I remember lifting then frozen hard over. On the left hand side the whole of them up. This confirmed my was a bottomless ditch, on the right hand a former views of the dream the night before, pleasant elevated path way; but it was my las I considered the sheep to be the sheep of lot to walk in the middle of the rough un- | Christ: (John ix. 15,) the green bank being comfortable road. I then looked forward, the
orward, the green pastures ; (Psalm xxiii. 2,) and my and was forcibly struck with the appearance heinir
helping them up, to represent the preaching of three lofty green banks, the middle one of the canel appearing rather more pleasant than the out
“Soon after this I had another dream, to side ones : I began to pursue my journey on
the following effect: I thought I was sitting the middle one; but behold a bull, of a very
of a very in a comfortable room, by a very large fire ; powerful and savage aspect, made his formid
when I looked down by my side, I saw two able appearance, coming, apparently, with all
sheep-one standing by the fire, without infury and madness to destroy me: this alarmed me, and I began to fear all was over with me,
jury, having apparently overcome the heat but I was, on a sudden, directed to the bottom
thereof; the other appeared dead and mo. of the right hand bank (or hill) where was
tionless, seeming as though the heat had a broken part in the hedge, when the moment
overcome it; I readily stooped down to raise I got into it, I was immediatly safe, and my
the latter one up, when the poor fire-scorched safety was as soon made known to me, so
animal immediately revived and became acthat I was enabled to rejoice in my security
tive, though very weak and feeble. I then from the rage and madness of my adversary.
took it by the head and directed it to the
door, the sight of which greatly cheered it, "Here I awoke, and the first inference I land it walked out joyfully, and appeared redrew from this dream was, that God was
markably strong. determined to call me into the work of the “When I awoke, the following interpreministry ; and in order to prevent my re
tation came to my mind, The room I was fusing to go forward, kept me in the dark,
in was the house of God; the sheep were his respecting the roughness of my first travels,
people; the fire was the law; and the door that he might bring me by a way that I knew
was Christ; and I was the person appointed not. See Isaiah xlii. 16., and as I did not by God to direct his Sinai-scorched sheep to fall on the road, so neither will he suffer me | Christ, the only door of hope. I had several to fall short of accomplishing my journey in others of a similar nature, which had an equal the said work, however rugged my path-way I tendency to impress my mind that I had a may be : and that when I had got a little I call from God to the ministerial office, one or way on my work he would open my eyes to two more of which I shall hereafter mention.” behold his under-working providence and I
(To be continued.)
Joy in Tribulation, | pel of his dear Son, as a God of love,
rich in mercy, and abundant in goodFROM THE CHAMBER OF AFFLICTION.
ness and truth; for thus saith “ the MY DEAR BROTHER GARRARD.-I take faithful and true witness.” “God so my pen into my hand to write to you loved the world that he gave his only these few ill-written lines. But, I take begotten Son”-“For God commendeth encouragement from that which the his love towards us in that while we were Lord said to Samuel “Look not on yet sinners Christ died for us.” We may the outside, for the Lord looketh at the therefore bless God and take courage; heart ;" but I fear sometimes that mine and oh, how are we indebted to the riches is a very bad one, that it will not stand of divine grace, if we have been brought the piercing eye of my God. But, my to love Christ because he first loved us.” dear brother, I read that it is good and I hope, through grace, I have been profitable to record the loving-kindness brought to know him “whom to know, of my God; and I look back with the is life eternal,” and have some evidence liveliest feelings of gratitude, on his in my soul that I love him; and am gracious dealings with me, a poor un- enabled to say from past and present worthy sinner, that he should have experience “it is good for me to be laid mercy on me all my life long, when I on this bed,” where I have laid all the knew it not, and up to this present hour, time I tell you; and indeed it is painful especially in seasons of affliction and to my body, but I trust it has been trial; in which I have often experieneed sanctified to the good of my soul; and that
when restless through pain, I have counted
the hours of the night, but blessed be “Behind a frowning providence,
my God, I have felt Christ precious to He hides a smiling face."
my soul, and have been enabled to lift And I have proved, to my happy experi- up my soul to God in prayer, and have ence, that he is “ a very present help in enjoyed something of those goings out time of trouble.” For, I have been af- of love, and something of the Spirit flicted ever since the 6th of last August, witnessing with my spirit that I am born twelve months, which seem a long time; of God, so that I could say with the but I can say that “it is good for me poem that I have been afflicted; for before 1]
“My Father, God, how sweet the sound, was afflicted I went astray, but now I
How tender and how dear; keep his testimonies ;” and may I feel I Not all the harmony of heaven, the liveliest gratitude to the bountiful | Could so delight mine ear.” giver of all good, whose "goodness and such delightful seasons have filled my mercy hath followed me all the days of my life.”
soul with joy, and my lips with praise; Yet how prone am I at times to question his love, and unbelievingly |
and I think I can say with the poetto construe the tokens of his favour as
“O Lord, I would delight in thce.” marks of his displeasure, and to say But it is not always thus with me. At with Jacob "All these things are times I feel my soul cast down within against me." Thus I am sometimes led me, and doubts, and fears, and suspito view the afflictive dispensations of cions, have occupied my thoughts, that divine providence in a wrong light, for- I never did love the Lord at all; yet, I getting that " whom the Lord loveth he have to adore and bless God, that in my chasteneth ;” and even when reading darkest seasons, when my faith was such passages as these, the unbelieving weak and my foes were strong, I would thoughts will intrude upon the mind. not have given up my humble hope of Can God - a pure and holy being, who an interest in the dear Redeemer for all hateth sin and iniquity, love such a sinful this world could afford; but have sent and ungrateful wretch as I feel myself up my cry to the throne of mercy as the to be? The thought seemed too over-poor publican did ; and I rejoice in knowwhelming, that a God of such infinite ing that whatsoever changes I may majesty, power, and glory should con-l experience in my own mind, I know that descend to love creatures so immensely. Christ is still the same: The thought would overwhelm me in During my indisposition I have had despair, were it not for the gracious re- time to read and study, (when I am velations of himself in the glorious gos. able) with more attention, and I hope
with profit. It is my privilege to have can we recognise as bearing marks and many books to read, in which are many evidences of that inestimable blessingprecious truths, and some I am forced The ministry of the Holy Ghost! But to throw away; but of all the books, I what do you consider evidences of this ? have not had any like the Earthen Vessel some might ask. We will try to answer. for truth; it has been such refreshment They are external and internal. I once and encouragement to my mind; and heard the minister of Surrey Chapel, Mr. especially those pieces from the “ Watch- SHERMAN, designate as irregular men man on the Walls,” which caused me to “ the men of Cyprus aud Cyrene.” Acts take the liberty of sending these few xi. 20. And of these men it is said — lines ; but I hope you will excuse all “ The hand of the Lord was with them : blunders and mistakes, for I am a poor and a great number believed, and turned ignorant girl. But the “ May Flowers" unto the Lord.” The hand of the Lord and “ Rose in June” are most sweet dear here means that power given with the pieces. Reading the Vessel often brings word, making it effectual in turning tears from my eyes and I then think and many from themselves to the Lord. This feel the religion of Christ a divine reality, then, was an external manifestation of and that it is faith in him alone that can the power of the Holy Ghost. This hand support the trembling soul, amidst the is still with the real “ Ambasadors for ills of life and the fears of death. Christ,” in measure, giving testimony to
And now my dear brother, I hope you their message, and thereby fulfilling his will be blessed with seals to your min- own declaration concerning them (Mark istry, and souls for your hire, and that xvi. 19-20.) Another evidence will be there may be a revival among you; and given by their abiding and continuing a crying among many “ What must I in the word and doctrine of Christ, under do to be saved ?" Dear brother, I am the anointing of the Holy Spirit. The going to tell you that your coming to apostle says-- " Take heed unto thyself Tunstall was not in vain in the Lord ; and unto the doctrine, continue in them, for I often hear of your name mentioned for in doing this, thou shalt both save and one of my friends says if she could thyself, and them that hear thee.” The but hear you once more she would not seed which “fell in stony places,” had no care. But I hope and trust we have a ceepness of earth ; no depth of humility faithful man now amongst us, (Mr. W. for it to root in; no deep sense of unDay,) he seems so at any rate, for he worthiness felt, as by the Lord's real seems not to fear the froins nor court servants who minister in his name; no the smiles of mortals, and they are the deep heart sighings and cryings to the men for the pulpit. Dear brother, if Lord for the perpetual dew of his preshere is anything worth your reading, I ence and power. This ground, another hope you will favour me with a few lines, Evangelist says, lacked moisture, the if not consume this in the flames. I have moisture of the Holy Spirit; and need had it on my mind sometime to write to we wonder then that the precious seed you, but dared not do it, fearing that I of the word should be called dry doctrines could not do it as I ought to do it. But both to him that speaks and those that one day feeling a little revived, I laid hear! And need we be surprised to find musing, and I was constrained at last so many as we do, leaving their ministers to do it; for you do not know how the they possibly may have been called under Lord hath made out a way for me to because of this dryness in the ministry take the Vessel, for he has sent one and they sit under ? Persons may preach the then another friend when perhaps I have truth systematically, they may preach been saying that I could not buy one, christian experience, sin as an heavy but I bless God that I have up to the burden, and what is gospel in theory, present. And now may your labours be having systematically learned it, but if owned and blessed is the sincere prayer not under the power of the Spirit there
MATILDA BURROWS. is no “still small voice” heard from one Tunstall Common, Decr. 29, 1846. year's end to the other : as Christ said
- It withers away :" withers away in State of London Churches, N o. 5. feeling: withers away in not being fruit.
ful: in short, nothing comes of it. But In casting an eye over the number of this brings me to a third evidence of a chapels in the metropolis ; how very few ministry being of God, and of those