who understand the joint as well as yourfelf.

5. Watch the eye of him who wishes to hob or nob, and ask him to drink a glass of wine with you.You may get drunk otherwise, but not fo expeditiously and politely.

6. If you wish to be very witty at the expence of any of the company, attack him after the fecond bottle: ten to one but he forgets it all before morning, or if not, you can plead that you had too much wine in your head.

7. Always join loudly in the chorus of a fong: it opens the pores, and gives a particular relish to the wine.

8. In returning home, particularly, if drunk, prefer riding on horfeback: you may have a fall in the other way, but there is more fpirit and effort in a fall from a horse; befides, you can always blame the horfe who threw you off, although he was fober.

FIVE REASONS,

Why the Summer is the propereft Seafon

for Public Dinners.

1. Because, owing to the heat, the ftomach is in a relaxed ftate, and lefs able to bear a load of all kinds of food of different natures.

2. Because in hot weather, wine, and particularly fpirituous liquors, have a tendency to create fevers, and obftructions in the vifcera, vulgarly

called the bowels.

3. Becaufe, owing to the heat, people are difpofed to drink moft, and confequently make moft for the good of the houfe.

fhewn only to ws, waiters at bagnios, and horse jockies,

When drinking and wenching are the chief accomplishments of a man of spirit.

When gaming is a duty, diftress of circumftances a pleafure, and gentlemen's fervants are bailiffs in livery.

When tradefmen bet fifty or a hundred pounds on a horfe, and pay a fhilling in the pound to their creditors.

When all debts remain unpaid, but debts of honour, and a prostitute and a gambler are the only creditors. whom we would not affront by a compofition.

When parents exhibit their children to titled feducers, and profligates of high rank, by which they gain a keeper, and lofe a husband.

When, in order to ride in one's coach, it is neceffary to deserve to ride in a cart.

When the maid and the mistress are fo like in drefs, that there is no difference, except that the maid is the best drest of the two.

When the follies of youth begin in infancy, when manhood is left out altogether, and old age begins at fiveand-twenty.

When money is become the object of philofophic contempt, and a young man is never happy until he has nothing left, and gets credit for public fpirit and virtue, a few weeks before he fhoots himself.

When one may repeat again and again truths like the above, and those who are concerned, laugh at, and difregard them, while men, who know not the world, can scarcely be

4. Because those who happen to be blind-drunk, may fee to get home believe that fach things are! fore it is dark.

5. Because there is leifure for amusements out of doors, which are extremely proper when the body is overheated.

ADVERTISEMENT.

To an enlightened Public. Many young ladies and gentlemen, when walking in the fields, or frequenting public places, being utterly at a lofs for proper expreffions to Fine times, when generofity is make ufe of This is, therefore, re

FINE TIMES.

By a noted Grumbler.

Mellis.

374

ON PAROCHIAL INFIRMARIES, IN THE CITY OF LONDON.
(From the Monthly Magazine.)

AMONG the many abufes which

require correction in large cities, and especially in this metropolis, there are none which call more loudly for redress than the fituation, conftruction, and other circumftances which relate to workhoufes, and the infirmaries for the parochial poor, as alfo the receptacles for, and early education of, thofe poor children, who, from the indigence of their parents, are under the neceffity of being admitted into poorhouses. I propofe to call your attention to each of these fubjects; but, as the most important and demanding immediate redress, I mean to lay before the public, through the medium of your excellent Magazine, fome of the abufes of parochial infirmaries. Nothing can be more felf-evident, than that the habitations of the healthy and the fick eught to be kept perfectly distinct, under feparate roofs, and with no kind of communication among the fervants or attendants, and yet nothing is more common than to find the infirmary and the work-house in the fame building, by means of which, if there fhould be any infectious difcafe, it cannot fail to be communicated from the fick to the healthy. By this fingle circumstance of mif. management, not only there will be great mortality among the unfortynate inhabitants of poor-houfes, but infectious diseases are likely to be propagated through the town from thefe fources. I am credibly informed, that from thefe caufes, nearly thirty perfons were buried from one parochial receptacle of healthy and fick, in the course of a fingle week, And I have reafon to believe, that every medical attendant on one poorhouse in London has been attacked with infectious fever for many years paft. Does not this require immediate correction?

I would fuggeft that the poor

holes and the infirmaries of all pa

rishes should be immediately removed to the fuburbs, fo as to give all the advantage to the poor of purity of the air, and to diminish the fpreading of infection through the metropolis. The populous parifh of Mary le-bonne has attended to these neceffary and obvious regulations; but there are neighbouring parishes, abounding with the lowest claffes of mankind, who live in all kinds of filth, and are thence particularly liable to the production of disease, where none of these objects are regarded, and where for this reafon infectious fevers prove more than commonly fatal. The wards of all infirmaries of this defcription ought to be large, airy, and clean, and should be white-washed with lime at least once in a year. No more than one patient fhould ever lie in one bed, and the beds fhould not ftand nearer than three feet from each other. Obvious as these things are, nothing can be more neglected. The wards are generally fmall, with low ceilings, and ill-ventilated, fo that the air is conftantly vitiated, and the vapour of infection is not likely to be diffipated. They are fometimes not white-washed for years together, and the floors and fair-cafes are too often dirty, and the walls filthy.

Two, and fometimes three, people, labouring under different difeafes, are placed in the fame bed; and, not unfrequently, a dying person is clofe by another in a dangerous ftate :—this must ferve to aggravate disease, and haften death in many cafes. Befides this evil, the beds are crowded fo near to each other, that the medical attendants frequently cannot approach the fick who require their affiftance.

Another regulation in all parochial infirmaries fhould be a regular vifitation of them, at least three times in a week, by the parish-officers. This

would

would produce a good effect in two ways. It would insure cleanliness and attention, to the avoiding of infection, both on account of the fick

ΤΗ

and the vifitors; yet it is not unusual for the wards to be fo dangerous, that the officers dare not visit them.

ALAN, OR THE FOLLY OF IDLE CURIOSITY; A TALE.

HERE is an oak in the Highlands of Caithness, which, notwithftand ing Dr Joanfon's reflections upon Scottifh timber, would not dishonour the forefts of Norway. Whether it is from the fingularity of such umbrageous foliage among the blighted pollards of Caledonia, or from any local tradition, refpecting the tree itself, is uncertain; but the neighbouring clans entertain a fuperfti tious veneration for the spot on which it Alourishes.

It was beneath the venerable branches of this gigantic plant, that Alan, the son of Modred, opened his little knapfack, as he proceeded on his journey from Olingra to Inverness. His poor, but industrious father, had for many years exercifed the double functions of weaver and prophet; and it was a queftion undecided at Alan's departure, to which of thefe profeffions he owed the celebrity he had acquired among his heighbours.

As a weaver, he fupplied them with cloathing; as a prophet, he foretold their destiny. And wonderful it was, that among the number of his predictions, hardly a fingle inftance occurred, in which he had been upbraided with falfehood. To the men he promised sweethearts, and to the women matrimony; and fo happily did he modify his augurial declarations, that, if by accident, an event proved unpropitious, neither male nor female thought proper to confefs it.

By his gift of fecond-fight, he had formed the moft flattering expectations respecting the future welfare of his fon. Innumerable typical prefentations, which floated before his eyes, during his labours at the loom, announced and prepared, the momentous period of Alan's aggrandizement. Animated by thefe de lightful profpects, he persuaded the fimple youth to feek his fortunes in a milder climate; and beftowing upon him the feanty gatherings of his induftry, sent him with a bleffing to realize the vifions of his father, among the people of the fouth.

Alan, as he placed before him the forry remnant of his foed, caft a wishful look towards the mountains of Olingra.

His departure had left fcarce a dry eye in the place. His proficiency upon the bagpipe endeared him to his companions, while his agility in the dance excited their admiration. Efteemed by one fex, and beloved by the other, the moment of feparation was the bittereft he had ever experienced. As the fetting fun threw its rays across the mountains that environed the place of his nativity, his bofom heav'd with fighs, and the barley. cake, as it rofe to his lips, came moiftened with tears.

"Tis a hard cafe," said he, taking off his bonnet, and twirling it upon his finger, at the fame time adjufting a knot of blue ribbon which a favourite damfel had placed there the evening before his departure, 'tis a hard cafe, that one is never allowed to take a peep at those we leave behind! My father piques himself upon his talent in fecond fight: alas! would any benignant genius enable me, now and then, to behold that which I have left, I fhould be perfectly indifferent refpecting that which is to come!"

"The talk be mine!" exclaimed a small figure, about fix inches high, as it ftepped from beneath the broad leaf of the burdoch, and rolled before it a cylin-` drical tube almoft as large as itself; "thy prayer is heard! thy petition is granted!-See'ft thou this glafs? Its magic powers will enable thee at any time to behold thofe from whom thou art feparated.-Rafh youth! the period is at hand, when the knowledge it affords, will induce thee to imprecate the gift of Oberon ?"

With these words, the phantom vanished. Alan, whofe aftonishment could not be equalled, heard, as he lifted her prefent from the ground, a confufed murmur, like the flight of bees, all around him. At the fame time, loud peals of laughter feemed to afcend the air, and die away upon the breeze. Silence enfued; and thrusting his new acquirement to the bottom of his knapfack, he took to his heels; nor ventured to examine it, or to look behind him, 'till the clofinghills entirely concealed the oak from his view.

Then