expect you some hours yet; if you'll have the kindness to step into this apartment for a few minutes, your own room shall be properly arranged. I really beg ten thousand→ Mr. Old. No compliments, Mr. Landlord, and when you speak to me in future, keep yourself upright; I hate tradesmen, with backs of whale-bone. Tan. Why, civility, Mr. Oldbutton Mr. Old. Is this the room? (Tankard bows. Exit Old. button.) Tan. Now such a customer would deeply offend a man, if he had not the ultimate satisfaction of making out his bill. (Enter Billy.) Oh, you've just come in time: ask no questions; there's Mr. Pry's room; if you get him out of the house, I'll raise your wa ges; if you do not, you shall go yourself; now you know the (Exit.) terms. Bil. Then it is either you or myself, Mr. Pry; so here goes. (As Billy is running towards the room, he sees Pry, with his head out of door, listening. Enter Paul Pry.) Paul Pry. Hope I don't intrude; I say, Billy, who is that old gentleman, who just came in? Bil. Old gentleman ?-why, there's nobody come in. Bil. You saw him!-why, how could you see him, when there's no window in the room? Paul. I always guard against such an accident, and carry a gimblet with me. (Producing one.) Nothing like making a little hole in the wainscot. Bil. Why, surely you haven't Paul. It has been a fixed principle of my life, Billy, never to take a lodging or a house, with a brick wall to it. I say, tell me, who is he? Bil. (Aside.) Well, I'll tell him something. Why, if you must know, I think he's an army lieutenant, on half-pay. Paul. An army lieutenant! half-pay! ah! that will never afford ribbons and white feathers. Bil. Now, Mr. Pry, my master desires me to say, he can't accommodate you any longer; your apartment is wanted, and really, Mr. Pry, you can't think how much you'll oblige me by going. Paul. To be sure, Billy, I wouldn't wish to intrude for the world-your master's doing a great deal of business in this house-what did he give for the good will of it? Tan. (Without.) Billy! Bil. There now, I'm called-and I've to make ready the room for the Freemasons, that meet to-night-they that wouldn't admit you into their society. Paul. Yes, I know; they thought I should intrude. Bil. Now you must go-good bye, Mr. Pry-I'm called. Bil. He's gone! I'm coming, sir. (Re-enter Paul Pry.) (Exit.) Paul. An army lieutenant! Who can it be? I shouldn't wonder if it's Mrs. Thomas's husband; who, she says, was killed in India! If it should be, it will break off her flirting with Mr. Cinnamon, the grocer-there's pretty doings in that quarter, for I caught the rheumatism watching them in a frosty night last winter! An army lieutenant! Mrs. Thomas has a daughter; I'll just peep through the key-hole, and see if there's a family likeness between them. (Goes to the door and peeps.) Bless me! why, there certainly is something about the nose-oh! she's writing. (The door is suddenly opened by Oldbutton, who discovers Paul.) Paul. I hope I don't intrude-I was trying to find my apart. ment. Mr. Old. Was it necessary to look through the key-hole for it, sir? Paul. I'm rather short-sighted, sir; sad affliction! my poor mother was short-sighted, sir; in fact, it's a family failing; all the Prys are obliged to look close. Mr. Old. Whilst I sympathize with your distresses, sir, I trust to be exempt from the impertinence which you may attach to them. Paul. Would not intrude for the world, sir. What may be your opinion, sir, of the present state of the kingdom? How do you like peace? It must press hard upon you gentlemen of the army; a lieutenant's half pay now, is but little, to make both ends meet. Mr. Old. Sir! Paul. Especially when a man's benevolent to his poor relations. Now, sir, perhaps you allow something out of your fiveand-six-pence a day, to your mother, or maiden sister. Between you and me, I must tell you what I have learnt here. Mr. Old. Between you and me, sir, I must tell you what I have learnt in India. Paul. What, have you been in India? Wouldn't intrude an observation for the world; but I thought you had a yellowish look; something of an orange-peeling countenance. You've been in India? Although I'm a single man, I wouldn't ask an improper question; but is it true that the blacks employ no tay. lors nor milliners? If not, what do they do to keep off the flies? Mr. Old. That is what I was about to inform you; they carry canes. Now, sir, five minutes' conversation with you, has fully convinced me that there are flies in England, as well as in India; and that a man may be as impertinently inquisitive at Dover, as at Bengal. All I have to add is—I carry a cane. Paul. In such a case, I'm the last to intrude. I've only one question to ask-Is your name Thomas? whether you have a wife? how old she is? and where you were married? Mr. Old. Well, sir, a man may sometimes play with a puppy, as well as kick him; and, if it will afford you any satisfaction, learn my name is Thomas. Paul. Oh! poor Mr. Cinnamon! This is going to India ! Mr. T., I'm afraid you'll find that somebody here has intruded in your place for between you and me- ~(Oldbutton surveys him contemptuously, and, whilst Paul is talking, Oldbutton stalks off. Paul, on looking round,) Well, it isn't that I interfere much in people's concerns; if I did, how unhappy I could make that man. This Freemason's sign puzzles me; they wouldn't make me a member; but I have slept six nights in the next room to them; and, thanks to my gimblet, I know the business. There was Mr. Smith, who was only in the Gazette last week, taking his brandy and water; he can't afford that, I know. Then there was Mr. Hodgkins, who makes his poor wife and children live upon baked potatoes six days out of the week, (for I know the shop where they are cooked,) calling, like a lord, for a Welch rarebit; I only wish his creditors could see him: but I don't trouble my head with these matters; if I did—eh! -Why there is one of the young Jones, going again to Mr. Notick, the pawnbroker's; that's the third time this week; well, I've just time enough to run to Notick's, and see what he's brought, before I go to inquire at the Post Office, who in the town has letters. (Exit.) IX.-FROM THE SWORD.-Berquin. LORD ONSBURG-AUGUSTUS, HIS SON-HENRIETTA, HIS DAUGHTER --FRANK RAYNTON, WILLIAM RAYNTON, EDWARD DUDLEY, CHARLES DUDLEY, FRIENDS OF AUGUSTUS-CRAPE, A SERVANT TO LORD ONSBURG. Scene 1.-The apartment of Augustus. Augustus. Aha! this is my birthday! They did well to tell me, otherwise I should never have thought of it. Well, it will bring me some new present from papa. But, let's see, what will he give me? Crape had something under his coat, when he went into papa's room. He would not let me go in with him. Ah! if I were not obliged to appear a little more sedate than usual, I should have forced him to show me what he was carrying. But hist! I shall soon know it. Here comes my papa. (Enter Lord Onsburg, holding in his hand a sword and belt.) Lord Onsburg. Ah! are you there, Augustus! I have already wished you joy of your birthday; but that is not enough, is it? Aug. Oh! papa-but what have you in your hand there? Lord O. Something that I fear will not become you well. A sword-look ye! Aug. What is it for me? Oh! give it to me, dear papa ; I will be so good and so diligent for the future— Lord O. Ah! if I thought that! But do you know that a sword requires a man? That he must be no longer a child who wears one, but should conduct himself with circumspec. tion and decency; and, in short, that it is not the sword that adorns the man, but the man who adorns the sword. Aug. Oh! never fear me. I shall adorn mine, I warrant! and I'll have nothing to say to those mean persons— Lord O. Whom do you call those mean persons? Aug. I mean those who cannot wear a sword-those who are not of the nobility, as you and I are. Lord O. For my part, I know of no mean persons but those who have a wrong way of thinking, and a worse way of conducting themselves; who are disobedient to their parents, rude and unmannerly to others: so that I see many mean persons among the nobility, and many noble an:ong those whom you call mean. Aug. Yes, I think in the same manner. Lord O. What were you saying, then, just now, of wearing a sword? Do you think that the real advantages of nobility consist in such fopperies? They serve to distinguish ranks, because it is necessary that ranks should be distinguished in the world. But the most elevated rank does only add more disgrace to the man unworthy to fill it. Aug. So I believe, papa. But it will be no disgrace to me to have a sword, and to wear it. Lord O. No. I mean that you will render yourself worhy of this distinction no otherwise, than by your good behavior. Here is your sword, but remember- Aug. Oh! yes, papa. You shall see! (He endeavors to put the sword by his side, but cannot. Lord Onsburg helps him to buckle it on.) Lord O. Eh! why, it does not sit so ill. Aug. Does it now? Oh! I knew that. Lord O. It becomes you surprisingly. But, above all things, remember what I told you. Good bye! (Going, he returns.) I had forgot; I have just sent for your little party of friends, to spend the day with you. Observe to behave yourself suitably. Aug. Yes, papa. (He struts up and down the room, and now and then looks back, to see if his sword be behind him.) This is fine! This is being something like a gentleman! Let any of your citizens come in my way now. No more familiarity, if they do not wear a sword: and if they take it amiss―― aha! out with my rapier. But, hold! let us first see if it has a good blade. (Drawing his sword, and using furious gestures.) What, does that tradesman mean to affront me? One-two! Ah! you defend yourself, do you? Die, scoundrel! (Enter Henrietta.) Henrietta. (Who screams on hearing the last words.) Bless me! Augustus, are you mad? Aug. Is it you, sister? Hen. Yes, you see it is. But what do you do with that instrument? (Pointing to the sword.) Aug. Do with it? what a gentleman should do. Hen. And who is he that you are going to send out of the world? Aug. The first who shall dare to take the wall of me. |