per for the occafion: though to have on the wedding garment, this cannot be meritorious of the falvation. And fuch worthinefs I muft not think to bring to my Saviour; but to receive it from him. For I am indigent and needy in myfelf; but all my fprings are in him. And to whom fhould I feek and repair, but to the bleffed Jefus, that has enough to fupply my wants, and to make me most bleffed for ever? yea, he has not only all happiness and salvation in his hands; but a heart full of kindnefs and love, to beftow upon us, all the good things that he has dearly purchased for us. Ŏ bleffed be the God of heaven, that would send his Son to die for us, who had deftroyed ourselves: and that he who offered himself upon the crofs for us, is pleased alfo to offer himself at his table to us; to be received by us, not only as the atonement and propitiation for our fins, but the life and food of our fouls! fo to ftoop and feek to enemies (my foul) it is not after the manner of men; but he that is God, and not man, takes this way, to deal with us: even when enemies, to reconcile us to himself, through the death of his Son. So has the God of love exceeded in riches of grace, to conquer our hearts with his kindness, and tie us to himself, with the cords of love. O what fhall I render to the Lord for fuch benefits? what can I render but the willing oblation of myself, together with my thanks and praise; taking the cup of falvation, and blessing the name of the Lord?

O my foul! do not thou ftand off; but freely enter the bonds of his covenant; not as compelled to it, but glad to find thyself safe in fuch gracious hands. When heartily to give up myfelf to the Lord, is the way of my peace and fafety, of my ease and felicity, and I can never do well any where elfe; I fhall never have reason to repent of the bar

gain, in fo difpofing of myfelf; never can I fo provide for my well-being, and for my blifs everlasting.

And that my coming may be for the better, and not for the worfe; that I may not miss of the blesfed benefit, but find him whom my foul loveth, and in him, all that my foul defireth, from him that provides the feaft, let me feek my preparation for it. And on him let my eyes wait, to bring me in the right way to it, as well as to refresh me with his heavenly confolations in it. That he may give me the qualifications which he requires, and work in me all the good things which he calls for from

me.

O let me go in his ftrength, that I may find his help with me, and his grace fufficient for me.

My foul! this is thy feaft, where thou mayeft eat that which is good, and delight thyself in fatness, and with joy drink thy everlasting health out of the wells of falvation. Do not abuse and afflict thyself then, in feeking that peace and reft from the world, which the world has not for thee. Be not grieved, to part with hufks and trash, and the fhews of food and pleasure, for the bread from heaven, the meat indeed, and drink indeed, that are really nourishing and refreshing, but leave broken cifterns for the fountain of living waters. And being athirst, and also called, go and take the water of life freely. Go to that entertainment, which will make thee easy and joyful in thy very heart, to find a pardoning God, a reconciled Father, and all-fufficient Saviour. O look upon it as a fingular privilege, and not a terrible duty. Do it as thou canft for thy frailty, and go through with it cheerfully; not doubting but thy gracious Lord will (according to what thou haft) accept thee. And turn not the ordinance of life into the fhadow of death; let it not caft thee into a frightful amazement, but tranfport thee into a delightful contentment. If thou art weak, go to

be

be ftrengthened; if thou art diftempered, go to be healed, and drink a little of this wine for thy often infirmities. If thou art unworthy, go and fhelter under his worthinefs, who can recommend thee as unblameable: if thou art unfettled, go to be eftablished; and if thou art burthened with fin and oppreffed, go to have thy pardon fealed, and to find reft in him, who calls to him, the heavy-laden to be eased.

Remember, that thou art not to come, as a chap man to buy; but without money, and without price, as a beggar, to receive. And if thou haft no valuable compenfation, to bring along with thee; O what does the Lord thy God require of thee? he bids, " bring in the poor, and the maimed, the halt and the blind, that his house may be filled," Luke xiv. 21. Such as do moft need his help, and best know how to prize his falvation, the God of all grace delights to exercise his power and his pity upon them. O let thy defire be to him: be willing to let go all for him. And though thou haft nothing to give, nothing but thy finful felf to offer: yet offer that, and go to his Bethesda to be cured, go to his feaft to be revived; not because thou art worthy, but because he abounds in mercy. Go caft thyself upon his kindness, and tafte how gracious the Lord is, that thou mayeft find cause to blefs him, and praise him, and magnify him for

ever.

AM filled with confufion, O Lord, to think how frequently and foully I have broken "with thee and revolted from thee, after all my ❝ folemn vows and mighty engagements to cleave "unto thee; not only the engagements of thy laws, to awe my foul, but the engagements of VOL. I

3 M

thy

"thy love, to win my heart. I am afhamed, that " I have been fo unfaithful in the covenant of my "God, and lived fo much without thee in the "world, that I have forgotten myself, and defiled "my garments, and wronged my foul. And how "can I now ftand in thy fight, holy God! how "fhall I appear at thy table? the fenfe of my un"worthiness and finfulnefs, makes me hang back, "as afraid to approach my offended Lord, but the "belief of thy abundant goodness, and my Savi"our's all-fufficient merits, puts life and encou

ragement into my drooping hopes, feeing thy "gracious ordinance is for them that have infir"Inities; and the fountain opened for fin and un. "cleanness, is for them that have their defilements: "in the number of those therefore, I come, to re"ceive, what I cannot bring; and to find at thy "merciful hands, what is wanting in my finful felf. "O forgive me, and receive me, I beseech thee; "and fatisfy me with thy mercy, and give me the fpiritual repaft, that fhall feed up my foul to a "bleffed eternity? where I may give thee praise "and glory for evermore. Amen."

66

MEDITATION XCVI.

After the Lord's fupper.

My foul! how exceeding kindly haft thou been ufed, though thou haft fo very ill de ferved! O what favour haft thou found at his bleffed hands, against whom thou haft been guilty of fuch grievous crimes! my gracious God, the Lord

of

of love, has entertained the enemy, as a friend; and given the childrens bread to one, that he might moft justly have fhut out, to lie with the dogs. I have had the freedom of his houfe, and the refreshment of his table; and instead of my due, which is the bread of affliction, and a cup of wrath, I have received of his mercy, the bread from heaven, and the cup of falvation. O what do I owe to the Lord God, my Father, my Saviour, my Redeemer, my Comforter! and what acknowledgement can I ever make, fufficient for fuch riches of grace, fuch wonders of love, as I have found; to bear down before it all the regard of my unworthinefs, and offences; and oblige me with fuch marvellous loving kindnefs; not only without any of my merits, but not withstanding all my great and manifold provo cations? great are thy tender mercies, O Lord; and how great is the fhare that I have had in them? How doft thou confer thy bountiful favours upon the indigent creatures, that cannot be profitable to thee? yea, upon the ungrateful finners, that do little but offend thee! fo haft thou dealt by me, and fuch are thy furprising mercies to me. They raise my admiration; but they exceed all my expreffion. I cannot speak worthy of them: O may I live more anfwerable to them!

My foul! I have now given up, and given away myself, from my own, into other and better hands. And I cannot go back, but I fhall run into grievous guilt, and expofe myfelf to the dreadful curfe. O that I may not defire; that I may not fo much as think, fo to draw back! for where, alas, can I mend myfelf? O where can I ever be better! where fo well? and whither fhall I go from thee, O bleffed JESUS! who haft not only the words, but the gift of eternal life? all is in thy hands; and thou art the best of all lords; who doft not rule us, but to bless

us,