Ant. E. Go, get thee gone, fetch me an iron crow. Bal. Have patience, sir, O, let it not be so; Herein you war against your reputation, And draw within the compass of suspect The unviolated honour of your wife. Once this,-) Your long experience of her wisdom, Plead on her part some cause to you unknown; For ever hous'd, where it once gets possession. ") SCENE II. The same. Enter LUCIANA and ANTIPHOLUS of Syracuse. Luc. And may it be that you have quite forgot A husband's office? shall, Antipholus, 11) hate, Even in the spring of love, thy love-springs rot? Shall love, in building, grow so ruinate? If you did wed my sister for her wealth, Then, for her wealth's sake, use her with more kindness: Or, if you like elsewhere, do it by stealth; Be not thy tongue thy own shame's orator; Being compact of credit, 12) that you love us; Though others have the arm, show us the sleeve; We in your motion turn, and you may move us. Then, gentle brother, get you in again; Comfort my sister, cheer her, call her wife: "Tis holy sport, to be a little vain, 13) When the sweet breath of flattery conquers strife. Ant. S. Sweet mistress, (what your name is else, I know not, Nor by what wonder you do hit on mine,) Less, in your knowledge, and your grace, you show not, Than our earth's wonder; more than earth divine. Teach me, dear creature, how to think and speak; Lay open to my earthy gross conceit, Smother'd in errors, feeble, shallow, weak, The folded meaning of your words' deceit. Against my soul's pure truth why labour you, To make it wander in an unknown field? Are you a god? would you create me new? Transform me then, and to your power I'll yield. But if that I am I, then well I know, Your weeping sister is no wife of mine, Nor to her bed no homage do I owe; Far more, far more, to you do I decline. O, train me not, sweet mermaid, 14) with thy note, Spread o'er the silver waves thy golden hairs, And as a bed I'll take thee, and there lie; And, in that glorious supposition, think He gains by death, that hath such means to die:Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink! Luc. What, are you mad, that you do reason so? Ant. S. Not mad, but mated: 15) how, I do not know. Luc. It is a fault that springeth from your eye. Ant. S. For gazing on your beams, fair sun, being by. Luc. Gaze where you should, and that will clear your sight. Ant. S. As good to wink, sweet love, as look on night. Luc. Why call you me love? call my sister so. Ant. S. Thy sister's sister. Luc. Ant. S. That's my sister. No, It is thyself, mine own self's better part; Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast? Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself? Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself. Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and besides myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how besides thyself? Dro. S. Marry, sir, besides myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will have me. Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee? Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse; and she would have me as a beast: not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me. Ant. S. What is she? Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of, without he say, sir-reverence: 17) I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage. Ant. S. How dost thou mean, a fat marriage? Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she'll burn a week longer than the whole world. Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, 18) like my shoe, but her face nothing like so clean kept; For why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it. Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend. Dro. S. No, sir, 'tis in grain; Noah's flood could not do it. Ant. S. What's her name? Dro. S. Nell, sir; — but her name and three quarters, that is, an ell and three quarters, will not|| measure her from hip to hip. Ant. S. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. S. No longer from head to foot, than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe; I could find out countries in her. Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland? Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks; I found it out by the bogs. Ant. S. Where Scotland? Doth for a wife abhor: but her fair sister, Ang. Master Antipholus? Ang. I know it well, sir: Lo, here is the chain: Ant. S. Made it for me, sir! I bespoke it not. Go home with it, and please your wife withal; [Exit. Dro. S. I found it out by the barrenness; hard, I'll to the mart, and there for Dromio stay; Ant. S. Where France? Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find no whiteness in them: but I guess, it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? ACT IV. SCENE I. The same. [Exit. Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer. Mer. You know, since pentecost the sum is due, And since I have not much impórtun'd you; Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it, hot in Nor now I had not, but that I am bound her breath. Ant. S. Where America? the Indies? Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to the ballast at her nose. Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, the Netherlands? Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently, post to the road; To Persia, and want gilders ) for my voyage: Ang. Even just the sum, that I do owe to you, Off. That labour may you save; see where he comes. Which doth amount to three odd ducats more Ant. E. No: bear it with you, lest I come not time enough. Ang. Well, sir, I will: Have you the chain about you? Ant. E. An if I have not, sir, I hope you have; Or else you may return without your money. Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain; Both wind and tide stays for this gentleman, And I, to blame, have held him here too long. Ant. E. Good lord, you lose this dalliance, to excuse Your breach of promise to the Porcupine: I should have chid you for not bringing it, But, like a shrew, you first begin to brawl. Mer. The hour steals on; I pray you, sir, despatch. Ang. You hear, how he impórtunes me; the chain Ant. E. Why, give it to my wife, and fetch your breath: Come, where's the chain? I pray you let me see it. Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you? Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: Ant. E. How now! a madman? Why thou peevish sheep, 4) What ship of Epidamnum stays for me? Dro. S. A ship you sent me to, to hire waftage. Ant. E. Thou drunken slave, I sent thee for a rope; And told thee to what purpose, and what end. Dro. S. You sent me, sir, for a rope's-end as soon: 5) You sent me to the bay, sir, for a bark. Ant. E. I will debate this matter at more leisure, And teach your ears to listen) with more heed. To Adriana, villain, hie thee straight; Give her this key, and tell her in the desk That's cover'd o'er with Turkish tapestry, There is a purse of ducats; let her send it; Tell her, I am arrested in the street, And that shall bail me: hie thee, slave; be gone. On, officer, to prison till it come. [Exeunt Merchant, ANGELO, Officer, and ANT. E. Dro. S. To Adriana! that is where we din'd, Where Dowsabel did claim me for her husband: She is too big, I hope, for me to compass. Thither I must, although against my will, For servants must their masters' minds fulfil. [Exit. Luc. Then pleaded I for you. Off. I do; and charge you, in the duke's name, First, he did praise my beauty; then, my speech. to obey me. Ang. This touches me in reputation: Either consent to pay this sum for me, Or I attach you by this officer. Ant. E. Consent to pay thee that I never had! Arrest me, foolish fellow, if thou dar'st. Ang. Here is thy fee; arrest him, officer; I would not spare my brother in this case, If he should scorn me so apparently. Off. I do arrest you, sir; you hear the suit. Ant. E. I do obey thee, till I give thee bail: But, sirrah, you shall buy this sport as dear As all the metal in your shop will answer. Ang. Sir, sir, I shall have law in Ephesus, To your notorious shame, I doubt it not. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, there is a bark of Epidamnum, That stays but till her owner comes aboard, And then, sir, bears away: 3) our fraughtage, sir, I have convey'd aboard; and I have bought The oil, the balsamum, and the aqua-vitæ. The ship is in her trim; the merry wind Blows fair from land: they stay for nought at all, But for their owner, master, and yourself. Adr. Did'st speak him fair? Luc. Have patience, I beseech. Adr. I cannot, nor I will not, hold me still; My tongue, though not my heart, shall have his will. He is deformed, crooked, old, and sere, ') Ill-fac'd, worse-bodied, shapeless every where, Vicious, ungentle, foolish, blunt, unkind; Stigmatical in making, 19) worse in mind. Luc. Who would be jealous then of such a one? No evil lost is wail'd when it is gone. Adr. Ah! but I think him better than I say, And yet would herein others' eyes were worse: Far from her nest the lapwing cries away; 11) My heart prays for him, though my tongue do curse. Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Here, go; the desk, the purse; sweet now, make haste. Luc. How hast thou lost thy breath? Dro. S. By running fast. Adr. Where is thy master, Dromio? is he well? Dro. S. No, he's in Tartar limbo, worse than hell. A devil in an everlasting garment 2) hath him, One, whose hard heart is button'd up with steel; A fiend, a fairy, pitiless and rough; A back-friend, a shoulder-clapper, one that counter- The passages of alleys, creeks, and narrow lands; 13) A hound that runs counter, and yet draws dryfoot well; 14) One that, before the judgment, carries poor souls to hell. 15) Adr. Why, man, what is the matter? but that Adam, that keeps the prison: he that goes in the calf's-skin that was killed for the prodigal; he that came behind you, sir, like an evil angel, and bid you forsake your liberty. Ant. S. I understand thee not. Dro. S. No? why 'tis a plain case; he that went like a base-viol, in a case of leather; the man, sir, that, when gentlemen are tired, gives them a fob, and 'rests them; he, sir, that takes pity on decayed men, and gives them suits of durance; he that sets Dro. S. I do not know the matter; he is 'rested up his rest to do more exploits with his mace, than on the case. Adr. What, is he arrested? tell me, at whose suit. Dro. S. I know not at whose suit he is arrested, well; But he's in a suit of buff, 16) which 'rested him, that can I tell: Will you send him, mistress, redemption, the money in the desk? Adr. Go fetch it, sister. - This I wonder at, Dro. S. No, no, the bell; 'tis time, that I were It was two ere I left him, and now the clock strikes one. Adr. The hours come back! that did I never hear. Dro. S. O yes, if any hour meet a sergeant, a'turns back for very fear. Adr. As if time were in debt! how fondly dost thou reason! Dro. S. Time is a very bankrupt, 18) and owes Nay, he's a thief too: Have you not heard men say, Ant. S. There's not a man I meet, but doth salute me And, show'd me silks that he had bought for me, Enter DROMIO of Syracuse. Dro. S. Master, here's the gold you sent me for: What, have you got the picture of Old Adam new a morris-pike, 21) Ant. S. What! thou mean'st an officer? Dro. S. Ay, sir, the sergeant of the band; he, that brings any man to answer it, that breaks his band; one that thinks a man always going to bed, and says, God give you good rest! Ant. S. Well, sir, there rest in your foolery. Is there any ship puts forth to-night? may we be gone? Dro. S. Why, sir, I brought you word an hour since, that the bark Expedition put forth to-night; and then were you hindered by the sergeant, to tarry for the hoy, Delay: Here are the angels that you sent for, to deliver you. Ant. S. The fellow is distract, and so am I; And here we wander in illusions; Some blessed power deliver us from hence! Enter a Courtezan. Cour. Well met, well met, master Antipholus. Dro. S. Nay, she is worse, she is the devil's dam; and here she comes in the habit of a light wench; and thereof comes, that the wenches say, God damn me, that's as much as to say, God make me a light wench. It is written, they appear to men like angels of light: light is an effect of fire, and fire will burn; ergo, light wenches will burn; Come not near her. Cour. Your man and you are marvellous merry, sir. Will you go with me? We'll mend our dinner here. 22) Dro. S. Master, if you do expect spoon-meat, or bespeak a long spoon. 23) Ant. S. Why, Dromio? Dro. S. Marry, he must have a long spoon, that must eat with the devil. Ant. S. Avoid then, fiend! what tell'st thou me of supping? Thou art, as you are all, a sorceress : I conjure thee to leave me, and be gone. Dro. S. Some devils ask but the paring 24) of A rush, a hair, a drop of blood, a pin, A nut, a cherry-stone; but she, more covetous, Master, be wise; an' if you give it her, The devil will shake her chain, and fright us with it. Cour. I pray you, sir, my ring or else the chain; I hope, you do not mean to cheat me so. Ant. S. Avaunt, thou witch! Come, Dromio, let us go. Dro. S. Fly pride, says the peacock: Mistress, that you know. [Exeunt ANT. S. and Dre. S. Cour. Now, out of doubt, Antipholus is mad, Ant. S. What gold is this? What Adam dost thou || Else would he never so demean himself: mean? A ring he hath of mine worth forty ducats, Dro. S. Not that Adam, that kept the paradise, || And for the same he promis'd me a chain; apparelled? 2o) Both one, and the other, he denies me now. Of his own doors being shut against his entrance. SCENE IV. The same. [Exit. Enter ANTIPHOLUS of Ephesus, and an Officer. Enter DROMIO of Ephesus, with a rope's end. Ant. E. But where's the money? Dro. E. Why, sir, I gave the money for the rope. Ant. E. Five hundred ducats, villain, for a rope? Dro. E. I'll serve you, sir, five hundred at the rate. Ant. E. To what end did I bid thee hie thee home? Dro. E. To a rope's end, sir; and to that end am I returned. Ant. E. And to that end, sir, I will welcome you. [Beating him. Off. Good sir, be patient. Dro. E. Nay, 'tis for me to be patient; I am in adversity. Off. Good now, hold thy tongue. Dro. E. I would I were senseless, sir, that I might not feel your blows. Ant. E. Thou art sensible in nothing but blows, and so is an ass. Dro. E. I am an ass, indeed; you may prove it by my long ears. 26) I have served him from the hour of my nativity to this instant, and have nothing at his hands for my service, but blows; when I am cold, he heats me with beating: when I am warm, he cools me with beating: I am waked with it, when I sleep; raised with it, when I sit; driven out of doors with it, when I go from home; welcomed home with it, when I return: nay, I bear it on my shoulders, as a beggar wont her brat; and, I think, when he hath lamed me, I shall beg with it from door to door. Enter ADRIANA, LUCIANA, and the Courtezan, with PINCH, and others. Ant. E. Come, go along; my wife is coming yonder. Dro. E. Mistress, respice finem, respect your end: or rather the prophecy, like the parrot, Beware the rope's end. Ant. E. Wilt thou still talk? [Beats him. Cour. How say you now? is not your husband mad? Adr. His incivility confirms no less. Good doctor Pinch, you are a conjurer; Establish him in his true sense again, And I will please you what you will demand. Luc. Alas, how fiery and how sharp he looks! Cour. Mark, how he trembles in his extacy! Pinch. Give me your hand, and let me feel your pulse. Ant. E. There is my hand, and let it feel your ear. Pinch. I charge thee, Satan, hous'd within this man, To yield possession to my holy prayers, And to thy state of darkness hie thee straight; Where 'would you had remain'd until this time, Dro. E. Sir, sooth to say, you did not dine at home. shut out. rest me. Adr. Alas! I sent you money to redeem you, By Dromio here, who came in haste for it. Dro. E. Money by me? heart and good-will you might. But, surely, master, not a rag of money. Ant. E. Went'st not thou to her for a purse of ducats? Adr. He came to me, and I deliver'd it. Luc. And I am witness with her, that she did. That I was sent for nothing but a rope! Dro. E. God and the rope-maker, bear me witness, Pinch. Mistress, both man and master is possess'd; to-day, And why dost thou deny the bag of gold? Ant. E. Dissembling harlot, thou art false in all; |