Imatges de pàgina
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CANTO II.

CONJURATIONS!

ARGUMENT.

THE Bard proceeds like one that's striving
To practise Arnall's art of diving;1
Presents sublime and strange narrations
Of wizards, ghosts, and conjuration s
Next towers in Della Cruscan style
Above old Homer half a mile ;
And flutters round in airy region,
Just like a wild goose or a pidgeon ;
Fir'd with the theme of Haygarth's praises
Until his rapture fairly blazes :
Then in a duel shows more prowess,
Than Vandal that e'er was, or now is.

BUT I'm a man so meek and humble,
I don't allow myself to grumble

"Not so bold ARNALL; with a weight of skull
Furious he drives precipitately dull;
Whirlpools and storms his circling arms invest,
With all the weight of gravitation blest."

Pope's Dunciad, book iii.

Am loth your patience thus to batter,
Though starving is a serious matter! 3

Another reason too, may't please ye,
Why thus I dare presume to tease ye;
If you my wrongs should not redress,
We all must be in one sad mess ! 4

2 But I'm a man so meek and humble.

If your worships have ever read the Eneid of one Virgil (which though possible is not very probable, as physicians in general rarely make themselves " mad,” by " too much learning") you will perceive a classical beauty in the commencement of this canto, which would escape the observation of the "ignoble vulgus." As I wish, however, that you might be able to relish some of the most obvious beauties of this my most exquisite poetical production you will hire some schoolmaster to show you how happily we have imitated the "At regina gravi" of Virgil, and the "But now t' observe romantick method" of Butler.

3 Though starving is a serious matter!

Many a worthy London alderman will most feelingly sigh a dolorous response to this pathetick complaint.

4 We all must be in one sad mess.

The sound is here a most correct echo to the sense; like the

Βη δ' ακέων παρα θινα πολυφλοίσβοιο θαλασσης

of HOMER; the

1

The credit of our craft is waning,

Then rouse at this my sad complaining;
For, though my fate now seem the rougher,
Still you as well as I must suffer.

Behold! A rising INSTITUTION,5
To spread Perkinean delusion;
Supported by a set of sturdy men,

Dukes, quakers, doctors, lords, and clergymen!

Quadrupedante putrem sonitu quatit ungula campum,

of VIRGIL; the

of BUTLER;

Many a lusty thwack and bang,

And ten low words oft creep in one dull line, of POPE, &c. Indeed, gentlemen, I shall almost be tempted to pronounce that person a sorry sort of a simpleton, who does not see, or seem to see, the lengthened visage and hanging lip of our learned Esculapian Fraternity, depicted with the phiz-hitting pencil of a Hogarth, in these eight beautiful and appropriate monosyllables.

5 Behold a rising INSTITUTION.

The builders of this second edition of the tower of Babel must be confounded; and that they will be, most certainly, provided the measures herein after recommended, be fully and manfully carried into effect. But as it may be safest to reconnoitre somewhat before we begin the attack we will introduce you into the midst of the enemy's encampment in our additional note No. 2.

Unblushing at the knavish trick,
I fear these fellows soon will kick
(A thing of all things most uncivil)
One half our physick to the devil!

And then, alas! your worships may
Be forc'd to moil the live long day,
With hammer, pickaxe, spade, or shovel,
And nightly tenant some old hovel.

Or, destitute of food and lodging,
Through dark and dirty lanes be dodging,
Unless t'avoid such dismal lurkings,
You put a powerful paw on PERKINS.

Behold what ought to raise your spleen high,
Perkins supposed by Aldini!

6 Perkins supported by Aldini !

These two wonder-working wizards are said to effect their necromantick manœuvres by the application of similar principles to the animal machine. But the latter does not in so great a degree, infringe on our privileges, for he begins where we leave off; that is, after the patient is dead; whereas Perkins, by his pretended easy and expeditious mode of curing those who ought to depend solely on "death and the doctor," is a more formidable foe to our profession. See additional note, No. 3.

It must have been most sad, foul weather,
From Italy to blow him hither.

My wrath, indeed, is now so keen, I
Ev'n wish, for sake of that Aldini,
This ink were poison for the wizard,

This pen a dagger in his gizzard!

:

For he ('tis told in publick papers)

Can make dead people cut droll capers;
And shuffling off death's iron trammels,
To kick and hop like dancing camels.

To raise a dead dog he was able,
Though laid in quarters on a table,

7

To raise a dead dog he was able.

" Dr. Aldini, now in London, lately exhibited, at the house of Mr. Hunter, some curious experiments on the body of a dog newly killed, by which the company then present were exceedingly astonished at the powers of Galvanism. The head of the animal was cut off. The head and the body were put beside each other on a table, previously rubbed with a solution of Ammonia. Two wires, communicating with the Galvanick trough, were then applied, the one in the ear, the other at the anus of the dead animal. No sooner had those applications been made than both head and body were thrown into the most animated muscular motions. The body started up with

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