7 That having met their final doom, 18 Say that the deepest politicians 18 They may have rest, we elbow room. If your worships have not read Mr. Malthus's Essay on the Principle of Population, I advise you to buy the book immediately, and set yourselves about something like an effort to comprehend its contents. You will there find, I cannot now recollect the page, that population has a tendency to increase in a geometrical ratio, but that subsistence must be limited to an arithmetical ratio. That the world would soon swarm with inhabitants in such a manner that in years of the greatest plenty we should be under the disagreeable necessity of turning anthropophagi, and, like the famous Pantagruel, eat pilgrims with our sallad, were not the principle of population restrained by two very useful predominant principles, viz. "VICE and MISERY;" the former of which is happily exemplified in the extravagance and luxury of your worships, and the latter correctly expressed in the poverty of your worships' petitioner. You will likewise find in the same volume, passim, that after war, pestilence, and famine have laid waste a country, there is an immediate increase of births, in consequence of the principle of population being let loose to take its natural operation in replenishing the earth; or, in other words, because there is more elbow room for the survivers. Now, this being correct reasoning, it must be wonderfully wrong to try to keep alive poor folks who are a dead weight on population, destroy the means of subsistence, prevent early marriages, and, by keeping themselves above ground, stand in the way of their betters. Bb Assist to overset the flummery Of Perkins' mischief-making mummery, Nor suffer tractoring rogues to cure Such sordid shoals of paltry poor, Of whom it truly may be said, For when the old Nick comes and fetches 19 'Twill lessen poor rates, worst of taxes. Mr. Malthus in his Essay on the Principle of Population, has the following remarks which go to corroborate my statement. "To remedy the frequent distresses of the common people, the poor laws of England have been instituted; but it is to be feared, that though they may have alleviated a little the intensity of individual misfortune, they have spread the general evil over a much larger surface. It is a subject often started in conversation, and mentioned always as a matter of great surprise, that notwithstanding the immense sum that is annually collected for the poor in England, there is still so much distress among them. Some think that the money must be embezzled; others that the church wardens and overseers consume the greater part of it in dinners. All agree that somehow or other it must be very ill managed. In short, the fact is, that nearly Say that those wights of skill surprising three millions are collected annually for the poor, and yet, that their distresses are not removed is the subject of continual astonishment. But a man who sees a little below. the surface of things would be very much surprised if the fact were otherwise than it is observed to be, or even if a collection, universally of eighteen shillings in the pound, instead of four, were materially to alter it. I will state a case which I hope will elucidate my meaning. "Suppose, that by a subscription of the rich, the eighteen pence a day, which men earn now, was made up five shillings; it might be imagined, perhaps, that they would then be able to live more comfortably, and have a piece of meat every day for their dinners. But this would be a very false conclusion. The transfer of three and six pence a day to every labourer would not increase the quantity of meat in the country. There is not at present enough for them all to have a decent share. What would then be the consequence? The competition among the buyers in the market of meat would rapidly raise the price from six pence or seven pence, to two or three shillings the pound; and the commodity would not be divided among many more than it is at present. When an article is scarce, and cannot be distributed to all, he that can show the most valid patent, that is, he that offers most money becomes the possessor. If we can suppose the competition among the buyers of meat to continue long enough for a greater number of cattle to be reared annually, this could only be done at the expense of the corn, which would be a very disadvantageous exchange; for it is well known that the country could not then support the same population." Who cook up most delicious farings, Will thank us when this paltry band And so contrive that every coffin, Now, our Columbian politicians would have told Mr. Malthus, that the only legitimate way of relieving the distresses of the poor of any country is for the government to send what he calls the " most valid patents," or in other words, the circulating medium, or what may be properly called the representative of property out of the country, by way of tribute to some foreign power, say France. This may go under colour of buying the right to govern (not the right of soil) certain lands in the moon, or such a tract as Louisiana. Then, if ever the right to govern should be disputed by the natives, or the purchased should attempt to exclude the purchasers even from the rights of citizenship, or disputes should arise about the boundaries, send them more "patents." These patents are to be obtained by imposts on such articles of commerce as are least easily dispensed with by the poor. This conduct, by introducing "Misery and Vice," will prevent matrimony, and thus diminish population and of course the number of the poor, Say Perkinism should be level'd; and thus finally terminate in an addition to the sum of human happiness. 20 For living child, a clever cradle. In the enumeration of my plans for universal improvements, in my first canto, I absolutely forgot to mention this scheme for publick economy. I do hope, trust, and believe, that, should it strike the eye or the ear of the generous and unassuming count Rumford, it will recommend me to his kind notice, and as much liberal patronage as he once extended to poor doctor Garnet. We are not very highly pleased to perceive that the Edinburgh Reviewers have made a most temerarious assault on this philosopher. They affirm that they "profess to be of the daily increasing number of those who do not think very highly of count Rumford's talents as a philosopher;" and then, with no small degree of impudence, make it appear that in a certain publication entitled an inquiry concerning the "nature of heat and the mode of its communication, Benjamin count Rumford, &c. &c. had made exactly the same discoveries which had been previously detailed by one Mr. Leslie. They then affirm that after a review of the whole work, if they were to state their opinion, they would say, that count Rumford had borrowed Mr. Leslie's leading discovery, without completely understanding its nature and extent; that he had pursued it imperfectly, and so mixed it up with errour and fanciful theory, as to disfigure it, and almost prevent one from recognizing the property." Edinburgh Review. |