fome distance from the General, though I am commonly of the fame fide of the House.

Lord D. is another brave Officer, at the head of one of his Majesty's troops of Guards, one of the tallest of his subjects, an ancient Peer, an able Senator, and (what is much to the honour of any Peer) an useful Magistrate in the country. I am always proud of meeting his Lordship at the Quarter Seffions; but I always take care to have the Chairman at leaft between us on the bench, that it may not be too visible to the country what a prodigious disparity there is in every respect between us.

But I will now divide my text, in order to discuss it more thoroughly; and will confider the natural confequences of Bodily Deformity; first, how it affects the outward circumstances; and, laftly, what turn it gives to the mind.

It is certain that the human frame, being warped and disproportioned, is leffened in ftrength and activity, and rendered lefs fit for its functions. Scarron had invented an engine to take off his hat; and I wish I could invent one to buckle my fhoe, or to take up a thing from the ground, which I can scarcely do without kneeling; for I can bend my Body no farther than it is bent by Nature. For this reason, when Ladies drop a fan or glove, I am not the first to take it up; and often restrain my inclination to perform those little fervices, rather than expose my fpider-like Shape. And I hope it will not be conftrued as pride, if I do not always rife from my seat when I ought; for, if it is low, I find some trouble in it; and my Center of gravity is fo ill

placed,

placed, that I am often like to fall back. Things, hanging within the reach of others, are out of mine; and what they can execute with ease, I want ftrength to perform. I am in danger of being trampled upon, or flifled in a crowd; where my Back is a convenient lodgement for the elbow of any tall person that is near. I can fee nothing; and my whole employment is to guard my Person. I have forborn to attend his Majesty in the House of Peers, since I was like to be squeezed to death there against the wall. I would willingly come thither when his Majesty commands, but he is too gracious to expect impoffibilities. Befides, when I get in, I can never have the pleasure of feeing, on the Throne, one of the best Princes who ever fat on it. These, and many others, are the inconveniences continually attending a Figure like mine. They may appear grievous to perfons not used to them; but they grow eafier by habit; and, though they may a little disturb, they are not sufficient to destroy, the Happiness of Life; of which, at an average, I have enjoyed as great a share as most men. And, perhaps, one proof of it may be my writing this Effay; not intended as a complaint against Providence for my lot, but as an innocent amusement to myself and others.

I cannot tell what effect Deformity may have on the Health; but it is natural to imagine that, as the inward parts of the body must in some measure comply with the outward mould, the form of the latter being irregular, the first cannot be fo well placed and disposed to perform their functions; and that, generally, Deformed perfons would not be healthy or long-lived. But this is a question best determined by facts; and in this case the instances are too few, or unobserved, to draw a general conclusion from

them.

them. And Health is, more than is commonly thought, in a man's own power, and the reward of temperance, more than the effect of constitution; which makes it ftill more difficult to pass a judgement. Æfop could not be young when he died; and might have lived longer, if he had not been murdered at Delphi. The Prince of Orange scarcely passed the meridian of life; and the Duke of Luxemburg died about the age of fixty-feven. The lord treasurer Burleigh (the honour of whofe company I claim on the authority of Osborn*) lived to seventy-eight; but his son, the Earl of Salisbury, who died about fifteen years after him, could not reach near that age. I have heard (but know not if it is true) that Mr. Pope's Father was deformed, and he lived to seventyfive; whereas the Son died in middle age, if he may be faid to die whose works are immortal. My Father was not deformed, but active, and my Mother a celebrated Beauty; and I, that am fo unlike them, have lived to a greater age, and daily fee my acquaintance of a stronger frame quitting the stage before me.

But I leave it to better Naturalifts to determine, whether Deformity, abstractedly confidered, is prejudicial to Health; for, in its confequences, I believe it is most commonly an advantage. Deformed perfons have a less share of strength than others, and therefore should naturally be more careful to preferve it; and, as Temperance is the great prefervative of Health, it may incline them to be more temperate. I have reason to think that my own weak frame and constitution have prolonged my life to this prefent date. But I should impofe upon my Reader, and affront

See Hiftorical Memoirs of Queen Elizabeth, by Francis Ofborn, Efq.

Heaven,

Heaven, if I ascribed that to Virtue which took its rife from Neceffity. Being of a confumptive difpofition, I was alarmed, when young, with spitting of blood; this made me abstain from wine, and all strong liquors, which now I have done for near thirty years. But

"Incidit in Scyllam cupiens vitare Charybdim."

By this I fell into another misfortune; and the ftone was the confequence of my drinking raw water; but care and perfeverance, with abstinence, have so far subdued that distemper, that at prefent it is but little interruption to my ease or happiness. And, weak as I am, I daily fee many dying before me, who were defigned by nature for a much longer life. And I cannot but lament that the generality of Mankind fo wantonly throw away Health (without which Life is not Life*) when it is so much in their own power to preserve it. If every Virtue, in its confequence, is its own reward, Temperance is eminently fo; and every one immediately feels its good effect. And I am perfuaded that many might arrive at Cornaro's age, if they did but follow his example. On thinking upon this fubject, I have adopted many maxims, which to the World will feem Paradoxes; as certain true Geographical Theorems do to those who are unacquainted with the Globe. I hold, as Articles of Faith (but which may be condemned as Herefies in many a General Council affembled about a large table), that the smallest Liquors are beft; that there never was a good Bowl of Punch, nor a good Bottle of Champaign, Burgundy, or Claret; that the best Dinner is one Dish; that an

"Non eft vivere, fed valere, vita." MART. L. vi. Ep. 70.

Enter

Entertainment grows worfe in proportion as the number of Dishes increase; that a Faft is better than a Lord Mayor's Feast; that no Connoiffeur ever understood good Eating; that no Minifter of State, or Ambassador, ever gave a good Entertainment; no King ever fate down to a good Table; and that the Peasant fares better than the Prince, &c. Being inspired with such sentiments, what wonder is it, if I fometimes break out into fuch ejaculations: O Temperance! thou Goddess moft worthy to be adored! thou Patronefs of Health! thou Protector of Beauty! thou Prolonger of Life! thou Infurer of Pleasure! thou Promoter of Business! thou Guardian of the Perfon! thou Preserver of the Understanding! thou Parent of every intellectual Improvement, and of every moral Virtue!

Another great prefervative of health is moderate exercise; which few Deformed Perfons can want ftrength to perform. I ever chofe long Journeys, and they have been fatiguing to me; but I never found myself the worse for fatigue, and (before I was troubled with the Stone) I have on occasion rode fifty miles in a day, or walked near twenty; and, though now flow in my motions, I can be on my feet the greatest part of the day, and cannot be faid to lead a fedentary life. As a Deformed Person is not formed for violent Exercife, he is lefs liable to fuch Disorders as are the natural confequence of it. He will alfo efcape many Accidents, to which men of athletic Make, and who glory in their Strength, are always expofing themselves, to make trial and proof of it. If he cannot carry an Ox, like Milo, he will not, like Milo, be hand-cuffed in the Oak, by attempting to rend it. He will not be the man that fhall ride from London to York in.