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Nor to her bed no homage do I owe:
Far more, far more, to you do I decline.
To drown me in thy sister's flood of tears:
, and I will dote:
And, in that glorious supposition, think
Let love, being light, be drowned if she sink !
That's my sister.
Luc. All this my sister is, or else should be.
O soft, sir, hold you still ;
DROMIO OF SYRACUSE. Ant. S. Why, how now, Dromio? where run'st thou so fast?
Dro. S. Do you know me, sir? am I Dromio? am I your man? am I myself?
Ant. S. Thou art Dromio, thou art my man, thou art thyself.
Dro. S. I am an ass, I am a woman's man, and beside myself. Ant. S. What woman's man? and how beside thyself?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, beside myself, I am due to a woman; one that claims me, one that haunts me, one that will Ant. S. What claim lays she to thee?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, such claim as you would lay to your horse: and she would have me as a beast; not that, I being a beast, she would have me; but that she, being a very beastly creature, lays claim to me.
Ant. S. What is she?
Dro. S. A very reverent body; ay, such a one as a man may not speak of without he say sir-reverence: I have but lean luck in the match, and yet is she a wondrous fat marriage.
Ant. S. How dost thou mean?-a fat marriage?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, she's the kitchen-wench, and all grease; and I know not what use to put her to, but to make a lamp of her, and run from her by her own light. I warrant, her rags, and the tallow in them, will burn a Poland winter: if she lives till doomsday, she 'll burn a week longer than the whole world.
Ant. S. What complexion is she of? Dro. S. Swart, like my shoe; but her face nothing like so clean kept: for why? she sweats, a man may go over shoes in the grime of it.
Ant. S. That's a fault that water will mend.
Dro. S. Nell, sir;—but her name and three quarters, that is an ell and three quarters, will not measure her from hip to hip.
Ant. $. Then she bears some breadth? Dro. S. No longer from head to foot than from hip to hip: she is spherical, like a globe: I could find out countries in her.
Ant. S. In what part of her body stands Ireland?
Dro. S. Marry, sir, in her buttocks: I found out by the bogs.
Ant. S. Where Scotland ? Dro. S. I found it by the barrenness; hard in the palm of the hand.
Ant. S. Where France ?
Dro. S. In her forehead; armed and reverted, making war against her hair.
Ant. S. Where England ?
Dro. S. I looked for the chalky cliffs, but I could find po whiteness in them: but I guess it stood in her chin, by the salt rheum that ran between France and it. Ant. S. Where Spain? Dro. S. Faith, I saw it not; but I felt it hot in her breath.
Ant. S. Where America—the Indies?
Dro. S. O, sir, upon her nose, all o'er embellished with rubies, carbuncles, sapphires, declining their rich aspect to the hot breath of Spain; who sent whole armadas of carracks to be ballast at her nose.
Ant. S. Where stood Belgia, —the Netherlands ?
Dro. S. 0, sir, I did not look so low. To conclude, this drudge or diviner laid claim to me; called me Dromio; swore I was assured to her; told me what privy marks I had about me, as the mark of my shoulder, the mole in my neck, the great wart on my left arm, that I, amazed, ran from her as a witch: and, I think, if my breast had not been made of faith and my heart of steel, she had transformed me to a curtail-dog, and made me turn i' the wheel.
Ant. S. Go, hie thee presently post to the road;
Dro. S. As from a bear a man would run for life,
Ang. I know it well, sir. Lo, here is the chain;
Ant. S. What is your will that I shall do with this?
Ang. Not once nor twice, but twenty times you have: Go home with it, and please your wife withal; And soon at supper-time I'll visit you, And then receive my money for the chain.
Ant. S. I pray you, sir, receive the money now, For fear you ne'er see chain nor money more.
Ang. You are a merry man, sir; fare you well. [Exit.
Ant. S. What I should think of this I cannot tell:
SCENE I.-The Same.
Enter a Merchant, ANGELO, and an Officer.
Ang. Even just the sum that I do owe to you
Ant. E. While I go to the goldsmith's house, go thou And buy a rope's end; that will I bestow Among my wife and her confederates, For locking me out of doors by day.But, soft; I see the goldsmith: get thee gone; Buy thou a rope, and bring it home to me. Dro. E. I buy a thousand pound a year! I buy a rope!
[Exit DROMIO. Ant. E. A man is well holp up that trusts to you: I promised your presence, and the chain;
But neither chain nor goldsmith came to me:
Ang. Saving your merry humour, here's the note,
Ant. E. I am not furnished with the present money;
Ang. Then you will bring the chain to her yourself?
enough. Ang. Well, sir, I will: have you the chain about you?
Ant. E. An if Í have not, sir, I hope you have,
Ang. Nay, come, I pray you, sir, give me the chain;
Ant. E. Good lord, you use this dalliance to excuse
Ant. E. Fie! now you run this humour out of breath: Come, where's the chain? I pray you, let me see it.
Mer. My business cannot brook this dalliance:
Ant. E. I answer you! What should I answer you?
Ang. You wrong me more, sir, in denying it: