« AnteriorContinua »
courage, it is well known I have more than cane to bis button; and by some lines of it lie once had sufficient witnesses of my drawing my should wear red-heeled shoes; which are essword both in tavern and playbouse. Dr. sential parts of the habit belonging to the order Wall * is my particular friend; and if it were of 'Smart Fellows.' any service to the public to compose the diffe- My familiar is returned with the following 'ence between Martin and Sintilaer the letter from the French king. bearl-driller, t I do not know a judge of more
• Versailles, June 13, 1709. experience than myself: for in that I may say
'Lewis XIV. to Isaac Bickerstaff, Esq. with the poet:
'SIR, • Quæ regio in vella nostri non plena laboris.'
'I have your epistle, and must take the liWhat street resounds not with my great exploits?
berty to say, that there has been a time, when 'I omit other less particulars, the necessary there were generous spirits in Great Britain, consequence of greater actions. But my reason who would not have suffered my name to be for troubling you at this present is, to put a treated with the familiarity you think fit to use. stop, if it may be, to an insinuating increasing I thought liberal men would not be such timeset of people, who, sticking to the letter of servers, as to fall upon a man because his your treatise, and not to the spirit of it, do friends are not in power. But, having some assume the name of Pretty Fellows ;' nay concern for what you may transmit to posterity and even get new names, as you very well hint. concerning me, I am willing to keep terms Some of them I have heard calling to one an. with you, and make a request to you, which other as I have sat at White's and St. James's, is, that you would give my service to the nineby the names of Betty, Nelly, and so forth. You teenth century (if ever you or yours reach see them accost each other with effeminate them,) and tell them, that I have settled all airs: they have their signs and tokens like matters between them and me by mousieur free-masons: they rail at woman-kind ; receive Bolieau. I should be glad to see you here.' visits on their beds in gowns, and do a thousand It is very odd, this prince should offer to inother unintelligible prettinesses that I cannot | vite me into his dominions, or believe I should tell what to make of. I therefore heartily de accept the invitation. No, no, I remember sire you would exclude all this sort of animals. too well bow he served an ingenious gentleman,
*There is another matter I foresee an ill a friend of mine, whom he locked up in the consequence from, that may be timely pre- Bastile for no reason in the world, but because vented by prudence; which is, that for the last he was a wit, and feared he might inention him fortnight, prodigious shoals of volunteers have with justice in some of his writings. His way gone over to bully the French, upon hearing is, that all men of sense are preferred, banished, . the peace was just signing; and this is so true, or imprisoned. He has indeed a sort of justice
that I can assure you, all ingrossing work about in him, like that of the gamesters; for if a the Temple is risen above three shillings in the stander-by sees one at play cheat, he has a pound for want of hands. Now as it is possible right to come in for shares, as knowing the some little alteration of affairs may bave broken mysteries of the game.* their measures, and that they will post back This is a very wise and just maxim ; and if again, I am under the last apprehension, that I have not lest at Mr. Morphew's, directed to these will, at their return, all set up for ‘Pretty me, bank bills for two hundred pounds, on or Fell:yws,' and thereby confound all merit and before this day seven-night, I shall tell how service, and impuse on us some new alteration Tom Cash got his estate. I expect three hunin our night-cap wigs and pockets, unless you dred pounds of Mr. Soilett, for concealing all can provide a particular class for them. I can the money be has lent to himself, and his not apply myself better than to you, and I am landed friend bound with him at thirty per sure I speak the mind of a very great number, cent. at his scrivener's. Absolute princes make as deserving as Diyself.'
people pay wbat they please in deference to The pretensjons of this correspondent are their power: I do not know why I should not worthy a particular distinction; he cannot in- do the same, ont of fear or respect to my deed be admitted as ' Pretty,' but is what we knowledge. I always preserve decorums and more justly call a 'Smart Fellow.' Never to civilities to the fair sex: therefore, if a certain pay at the play-house is an act of frugality lady, who left her coach at the New-exchange that lets you into his character ; and bis expe- door in the Strand, and whipt down Durhamdient in sending his children begging before yard into a boat with a young gentleman for they can go, are characteristical instances that Vauxhall;t I say, if she will send me word, that be belongs to this class. I never saw the gen. I may give the fan which she dropped, and I tleman; but I know by his letter, he hangs his
* Sir John Vanburghi, who was once confined in the Bas. • Three Practitioners in physic or surgery, of some note tile, is probably the person here alluded to. Ilis being called at that time for curing discases contracted by debauchery. * A term now become onintelligible.
+ This, in the original edition, is Foxhall.
a Wit,' seems to countenance the idea.
found, to my sister Jenny, there shall be no 'Yes, Sir," the new guest ans vered, “ I have more said of it. I expect hush-money to be left it in a very good cvodition and made my will regularly sent for every fully or vice any one the night before this occasion. “Did you read commits in this whole town ; and hope, I may it before you signed it?"" Yes, sure, Sir," said pretend to deserve it better than a chamber- the new comer. Socrates replies, Could a maid or a valet de chambre; they only whisper man, that would not give his estate without it to the little set of their companions; but I reading the instrument, dispose of his life san tell it to all men living, or who are to live. without asking a question ?" That illustrious Therefore I desire all my readers to pay their shade turned from him, and a crowd of imperQues, or mend their lives.
tinent goblins, who had been drolls and paWhite's Coffee-house, May 27.
rasites in their life-time, and were knocked on My familiar being come from France, with the head for their sauciness, came about my an answer to my letter to Lewis of that king fellow-traveller, and made themselves very dom, instead of going on in a discourse of wiat merry with questions about the words Carteand he had seen in that couri, be put on the im. Tierce, and other terms of fencers. But his mediate concern of a guardian, and fell to en
thoughts began to settle into reflection upon quiring into my thoughts and adventures since the adventure which had robbed him of his late bis journey. As short as his stay had been, 1 being; and, with a wretched sigh, said he," How I confessed I had had many occasions for his terrible are conviction and guilt, when they assistance in my conduct; but communicated
come too late for penitence!' to bim my thoughts of putting all my force
Pacolet was going on in his strain, but he against the horrid and senseless custom of duels. recovered from it, and told me, 'It was too 'If it were possible,' said he,'t laugh at
soon to give my discourse on this subject so things in themselves so deeply tragical as the
serious a turn ; you have chiefly to do with impertinent profusion of human life, I think I
that part of mankind which must be led into could divert you with a figure I saw just after reflection by degrees, and you must treat this
custom with humour and raillery to get an auiny death, when the philosopher threw me, as I told you some days ago, into the pail of water.
dience, before you come to pronounce sentence “You are to know that, when men leave the
upon it. There is foundation enough for raising body, there are receptacles for them as soon
such entertainments, from the practice on this
occasion. Do not you know that often a man as they depart, according to the manner in which they lived and died. At the very instant comb (with whom he would not keep company
is called out of bed to follow implicitly a cox. I was killed, there came away with me a spirit wbich had lost its body in a duel. We were
on any other occasion) to ruin and death?both examined. Me the whole assembly looked Then a good list of such as are qualified by the
laws of these unconrteous men of chivalry to at with kindness and pity, but, at the same time, with an air of welcome and consolation : bonour without common honesty ;) these, I say,
enter into combat (who are often persons of they pronounced me very bapry, who had died in innocence; and told me, a quite different
ranged and drawn up in their proper order, place was allotted for my companion ; there would give an aversion to doing any thing being a great distance from the mansions of
in common with such as men laugh at and
contemn. bols and innocents : though, at the same time,
But to go through this work, you suid one of the ghosts, there is a great affinity cursions from your theme : consider, at the
must not let your thoughts vary, or make exbetween an idiot who has been su for a long life, and a child who departs before maturity. treated by the ablest and greatest writers, yet
same time, that the matter has been osten But this gentleman who has arrived with you that must not discourage you : for the properis a fool of his own making, is ignorant out of choice, and will fare accordingly." The as
est person to handle it, is one who has rove sembly begav to fuck about him, and one said tunities (which I shall give you) of seeing these
into mixed conversations, and must have opporto him, Sir, I observed you came in through
sort of men in their pleasures and gratifications, the gate of persons murdered, and I desire to Know what brought you to your untimely end?" I among which they pretend to reckon fighting He said, “ be hari been a second.” Socrates
It was pleasantly enough said of a bully in who may be said to have been murdered by The king has taken away gaming and stage
France, when duels first began to be punished : he commonwealth of Athens) stood by and began to draw bear bim, in order, after his playing, and now fighting tow; how does luce manner, to lead him into a sense of his error
expect gentiemen shall divert themselves ?' by concessions in his own discourse. “Sir,' said that divine and amicable spirit, what was the No. 27.} Saturday, June 11, 1709. quarrel ?" He answered, “ We shall know very
Quieqnid agunt homines suddenly when the principal in the business
nostri est farrago libelli. Juv, Sat, i. 85, 87. comes, for he was desperately wounded before I
Whate'er men do, or say, or think, or drean, Tell.'' Sir," said the saye,“ had you an estate?" Our motley paper seizes for its theme.
towards six in the evening is caused by bis miWhite's Chocolate-house, June 9. mics and imitators. How ought men of sense Pacolet being gone a-strolling among the to be careful of their actions, if it were merely men of the sword, in order to find out the se- from the indignation of seeing themselves ill. cret causes of the frequent disputes we meet | drawn by such little pretenders ! Not to say with, and furnish me with materials for my he that leads is guilty of all the actions of hi treatise on duelling: I have room left to go on followers ; and a Rake has imitators whom you in my information to my country readers, would vever expect should prove so. Second wbereby they may understand the bright peo- hand vice, sure, of all is the most nauseous. ple whose memoirs I have taken upon me to | There is hardly a folly more absurd, or which write. But in my discourse of the twenty- seems less to be accounted for (though it is eighth of tbe last month, I omitted to mention what we see every day,) than that grave and the most agreeable of all bad characters, and honest natures give into this way, and at the that is, a Rake.
same time have good sense, if they thought fic A Rake is a man always to be pitied; and to use it; but the fatality (under which most if he lives, is one day certainly reclaimed; for men labour) of desiring to be what they are bis faults proceed not from choice or inclina- not, makes them go out ef a method in which tion, but from strong passions and appetites, they might be received with applause, and which are in youth too violent for the curb of would certainly excel, into one, wherein they reason, good sense, good manners, and good will all their lives have the air of strangers to nature : all which he must have by nature and what they aim at. education, before he can be allowed to be, or For this reason, I have not lamented the to have been of this order. He is a poor un- metamorphosis of any one I know so much as wieldy wretch that commits faults out of the of Nobilis, who was born with sweetness of redundance of his good qualities. His pity and temper, just apprehension, and every thing else compassion make him sometimes a bubble to that might make him a man fil for his order. all his fellows, let them be never so much below But instead of the pursuit of sober studies and pim in understanding. His desires run aw.ny applications, in which he would certainly be with him through the strength and force of a capable of inaking a considerable figure in the lively imagination, which hurries him on to noblest assembly of men in the world; I say, unlawful pleasures, before reason bas power to in spite of that good nature, which is his come in to his rescue. Thus, with all the good proper bent, he will say ill-natured things intentions in the world to amendment, this aloud, put such as he was, and still should be, creature sins on against heaven, himself, his out of countenance, and drown all the natufriends, and his country, who all call for a ral good in him, to receive an artificial ill better use of his talents. There is not a being character, in which he will never succeed; for under the sun so miserable as this: he goes on Nobilis is no Rake. He may guzzle as much in a pursuit he himself disapproves, and bas wine as he pleases, talk bawdy if he thinks fit; 30 enjoyment but what is followed by remorse; but he may as well drink water-gruel, and go Do relief from remorse, but the repetition of twice a-day to church, for it will never do. bis crime. It is possible I may talk of this I pronounce it again, Nobilis is no Rake. To person with too much indulgence; but I must be of that order, he must be vicious against repeat it, that I think this a character which his will, and not so by study or application. is the most the object of pity of any in the All ' Pretty Fellows' are also excluded to a world. The man in the pangs of the stone, man, as well as all inamuratoes, or persons o gout, or any acute distemper, is not in so de- the epicene gender, who gaze at one another plorable a condition, in the eye of right sense, in the presence of ladies. This class, of which as he that errs and repents, and repents and errs I am giving you an account, is pretended to on. The fellow with broken limbs justly de- also by men of strong abilities in drinking ; serves your alms for his impotent condition ; though they are such whom the liquor, not but be that cannot use his own reason is in the conversation, keeps together. Put blocka much worse state ; for you see him in miser- heads may roar, fight, and stab), and be never able circumstances, with his remedy at the the nearer; their labour is also lost; they same time in bis own possession, if he would, or want sense: they are no Rakes. could use it. This is the cause that, of all ill As a Rake among men is the man who lives ebaracters, the Rake has the best quarter in in the constant abuse of his reason, so a Co. the world; for when he is himself, and un- quette among women is one who lives in con ruffled with intemperance, you see his natural tinual misapplication of her beauty. The chief faculties exert themselves, and attract an eye of all whom I have the honour to be aeqnainted of favour towards his infirmities.
with, is pretty Mrs. Toss: she is ever in pracBut if we look round us here, how many tice of something which disfigures her, and doll rogues are there, that would fain be what takes from her charms, though all she does this poor man bates himself for? All the noise I tends to a contrary effect. She has naturally
a very agreeable voice and utterance, which she has changed for the prettiest lisp imagina
From my own Apartment, June 10. ble. She sees what she has a mind to see at
I have so many messages from young gen. half a mile distance; but poring with her eyes tlemen who expect preferment and distinction, half shut at every one she passes by, she be- that I am wholly at a loss in what manuer to lieves much more becoming. The Cupid on acquit myself. The writer of the following her fan and she have their eyes full on each letter tells me in a postscript, he cannot go other, all the time in which they are not both out of town until I have taken some notice of in motion. Whenever ber eye is turned from i him, and is very urgent to be somebody in it, tbat dear object, you may bave a glance, and before he returns to his commons at the uniyour bow, if she is in humour, returned as versity. But take it from himself. civilly as you make it; but that must not be in
* To Isauc Bickerstaff, Esq. Monitor General the presence of a man of greater quality: for
of Great-Britain. Mrs. Toss is so thoroughly well-bred, that the
Sheer-Lane, June 8. chief person present has all her regards. And
I have been above six months from the unishe whoʻgiggles at divine service, and laughs at her very mother, can compose herself at the versity, of age these three months, and so long
in town. I was recommended to one Charles approach of a man of a good estate.
Bubbleboy * near the Temple, who has supplied Will's Coffee-house, June 9.
me with all the furniture be says a gentleman A fine lady showed a gentleman of this com
ought to have. I desired a certificate thereof pany, for an eternal answer to all his addresses, from bim, which he said would require some a paper of verses, with which she is so capti time to consider of; and when I went yesterday vated, that she professed the author should be morning for it, he tells me, upon due consithe happy man in spite of all other pretenders. deration, I still want some tew odd things It is ordinary for love to make men poetical, more, to the value of threescore or fourscore and it had that effect on this enamoured man:
pounds, to make me complete. I have bespoke but he was resolved to try his vein upon some
them; and the favour I beg of you is, to know, of her confidants or retinue, before he ventured
when I am equippel, in what part or class of upon so high a theme as herself. To do other
men in this town you will place me. Pray send wise than so, would be like making an hervic
me word what I am, and you shall find me, poem a man's first attempt. Among the fa
Sir, your most humble servant,
• JETERY NICKNACK.' vourites to the fair one, he found her parrot not to be in the last degree: he saw Poll had I am very willing to encourage young beher ear, when his sighs were neglected. To ginners, but am exéremely in the dark how to write against him had been a fruitless labour; dispose of this gentleman. I cannot see either therefore he resolved to flatter him into bis his person or habit in this letter ; but I will interest in the following manner:
call at Charles's, * and know the shape of his To a Lady, on her Parrot.
snuff.box, by which I can settle his character. When nymphs were coy, and love could not prevail, | Though indeed, to know his full capacity, I 'The gods disguis'd were seldom known to fail;
ought to be informed whether he takes Spanish Leda was chante, but yet a feather 'd Jove
St. James's Coffee-house, June 10.
Letters from the Low Countries of the se-
venteenth iustant say, that the duke of MarlHenceforth the parrot be the bird of love.
borough and the prince of Savoy intended to
leave Ghent on that day, aud join the army It is indeed a very just proposition to give which lies between Pont d'Espiere and Cour. that honour rather to the parrot than the tray, their head-quarters being at Helchin. other volatile. The parrot represents us in the same day the Palatine foot were expected at the state of making love: the dove, in the Brussels. Lieutenant-general Dompre, with possession of the object beloved. But, instead!
a body of eigbt thousand men, is posted at of turning the dove off, I fancy it would be Alost, in order to cover Ghent and Brussels. better if the chaise of Venus had hereafter a The marshal de Villars was still on the plain parrot added (as we see sometimes a third of Lenz; and it is said the duke of Vendosme horse to a coach,) which might intimate, that to be a parrot, is the only way to succeed ; and
* Charles 11.ther, at that time an eminent toyman in to be a dove, to preserve your conquests. If the swain would go on successfully, be must † A great quantity of musiy snuff was captured in the imitate the bird he writes upon; for he who | Srulitect which was taken or burnt at Vigo in 1703; it
soon became fashionable to use no snuff bot what had this would be loved by women, must never be silent
musty Navour. Time, and the tricks of the tobacconists before the favour, or open liis lips after it. and perfumers, put an end at last to this absurd custom.
is appointed to command in cunjunction with a man to say, he allows a gentleman really to
one of their subjects handle this destructive
of mankind as understand the use of a whole No. 28.) Tuesday, June 14, 1709
skin so little, as to make a profession of exQuicqaid agunt homincs
posing it to cuts and scars. Dostri cät farrago libelli. Juv. Sal. i. 85, 86. But what need we run to such foreign inWhate'er men do, or say, or think, or dream,
stances ? Our own ancient and well governed Our motley paper beizes for its theme.
cities are conspicuous examples to all mankind White's Chocolate-house, June 13. in their regulation of military achievements. I HAD suspended the business of duelling to
The chief citizens, like the noble Italians, bire a distant time, but that I am called upon to
mercenaries to carry arms in their stead ; and declare myself on a point proposed in the fol- you shall have a fellow of a desperate fortune, lowing letter.
for the gain of one half-crown, go through all
the dangers of Tothill-Fields, or tbe Artillery• SIR,
June 9, at night. Ground, clap bis right jaw within two inches *I desire the favour of you to decide this of the touch-hole of a musquet, fire it off, and question, whether calling a gentleman a Smart huzza, with as little concern as he tears a pulFellow is an affront or not? A youth entering let. f Thus you see, to what scorn of danger a certain coffee house, with bis cane tied to his these mercenaries arrive, out of a mere love of button, wearing red-heeled shoes, I thought of sordid gain : but methinks it should take off your description, and could not forbear telling the strong prepossession men have in favour of a friend of mine next to me, " There enters a bold actions, when they see upon what low Smart Fellow.” The gentleman hearing it, had motives men aspire to them. Do but observe immediately a mind to pick a quarrel with me, the common practice in the government of and desired satisfaction; at which I was more those heroic bodies, our militia and lieutenanpuzzled tban at the other, remembering what cies, the most ancient corps of soldiers, permentiou your familiar makes of those tbat had haps, in the universe; I question, whether lost their lives on such occasions. The thing there is one instance of an animosity between is referred to your judgment; and I expect any two of these illustrious sons of Mars since you to be my second, since you have been the their institution, which was decided by comcause of our quarrel. I am, Sir, your friend bat? I remember indeed to have read the and bumble servant.'
chronicle of an accident which had like to have I absolutely pronounce, that there is no oc- occasioned bloodshed in the very field before casion of offence given in this expression ; for all the general officers, though must of them a ‘Smart Fellow' is always an appellation of were justices of the peace. Captain Crabtree praise, and is a man of double capacity. The of Birching-lane, haberdasher, bad drawn a true cast or mould in which you may be sure bill upon major-general Maggot, cheesemonger to know him is, when his livelihood or educa. in Thames-street. Crabtree draws this upon tion is in the civil list, and you see him express Mr. William Maggot and company. A country a vivacity or mettle above the way he is in by a little jerk in his motion, short trip in his
• Venice, which declined engaging in the war of the steps, well-fancied lining of his coat, or any Grand Alliance in 1702. other indications which may be given in a vi- + The state and discipline of the city train-bands at this
time was very justly a standing subject of ridicule to the gorous dress. Now, what possible insinuation
wits. Set a poem on this subjcct, ascribed to Swill, in the can Ibere be, that it is a cause of quarrel for Harleian. Misc. vol. 1. p. 206.