yet had been', the possessor of an umbrella', and substitute an upper benjamin' for the embarrassing folds of my Spanish сара." In my professional pursuits the use of an umbrella was preposterous';t and in the climate of my own country it rains so seldom', that to a man of leisure, having no business avocations to call him inauspiciously into the open air', the umbrella is also a useless and disagreeable encumbrance. But in England the case is otherwise; and a man without an umbrella' is as incomplete as a man without a nose.

LESSON CX.

COURTSHIP AND MARRIAGE.

On these subjects much advice is given, and very little taken. If asked at all, it is generally not until the mind is made up, the affections engaged', and perhaps the honor pledged.

There was one gentleman and lady in our village, who were commonly consulted on this business by all the prudent young people in the neighborhood. The first questions which they generally asked were, "Have you consulted your parents', and what do they think of it' ?-for you cannot expect happiness if you marry without the full consent of your own parents, and the parents of your intended partner." Very commonly the answer was, "I have spoken to my parents', and they advised me to consult you." These people had a way of making young persons themselves see and own if there was any thing imprudent or wrong', so as to induce them to give up the matter of their own accord.

My brother Richard, I remember, was in a great hurry to be married before he was out of his apprenticeship. Father and mother did all they could to persuade him to wait awhile, and it was well for him that they succeeded. The gentleman, too, of whom I have just spoken', talked kindly to him on the subject. "Don 't be too hasty', young man'; 'tis easy to marry in hasté and repent at leisure. I

* A cloak; pronounced capa; a as in father.
The author was an officer in the U. S. Navy.

would advise you not to think of marrying till you are settled in a fair way of getting a living. You don't wish to be a burden to, your parents', but to be able to provide for yourself, and those dependent on you'; and for some years to come it will be much better for you to have one plough going than two cradles. You may think that love and a little will be quite enough', but, let me tell you', love and nothing will be but sorry farè; and, 'When poverty comes in at the door', love flies out at the window.' You think, perhaps, that no such thing can happen to you': then let me tell you, that, if you think your love strong enough to bear poverty after marriage, you had better try its strength in waiting beforehand'. If you really love one another', I think that you will find it easy and pleasant to work and savé, that you may have something about you to make your home comfortable' when it is prudent for you to marry." My brother promised to wait a year or two, and every leisure hour he had', to work and save in good earnest for future comfort. But in less than three months' time', he came again to his friend in great trouble', and told him that Fanny was getting very shy of him', and had been seen walking with the 'squire's groom'; and now what was to be done' ?

"By all means let her go'," he replied", "and reckon it a very good miss for you. If she is tired of waiting', let her go on without you; and when she is gone', comfort yourself with remembering that there are as good fish left in the sea as ever were caught out of it."

This seemed hard doctrine at the timè, and Dick was half inclined to break his promise', and go after Fanny with an offer to marry directly'; but prudence prevailed.

After flirting about with three or four different young men, Fanny at last married William Stephens', the sawyer', and a poor, dressy, dawdle of a wife she made him. As for Richard', he soon found that he could do vastly well without her; and, I believe, he forgot all about marrying for four or five years', when he met with a steady, respectable young woman', whom all his friends approved', and who turned out an excellent partner to him, and a good mother to his children. When he looked at his decent, tidy wife. his well-furnished cottage', and his clean well-managed children', and contrasted them with those of his neighbor

Stephens', he sometimes went across the house humming the old ditty',

"Sic a wife as Willie had'!

I wadna gie* a button for her."

A second question which these friends used to ask the young people who came to consult them, was this': “What is it in the person of whom you speak', that makes you think that you should love him, (or her,) better than all the world beside'? You ought to be able to do this; for it is a very foolish action either to marry without love', or to love without reason. Is it beauty'? Beauty is only skin deep`, and sometimes covers a heart deformed by vice and ill temper. Beauty is a poor thing, unless it accompanies something far better than itself, and that will long outlive it. ry only for beauty, would be like buying a house for the nosegays in the windows. 'Favor is deceitful', and beauty is vain, but a woman that feareth the Lord', she shall be praised',' and chôsen toó, by the wise man who seeks a helpmate. Would you marry for money'? In seeking after a comfortable yoke-fellow, good conditions are more to be sought for than a great dowry.' 'Better have a fortune

in a wife', than a fortune with a wife.'

6

To mar

"Is it for genteel, attractive manners and polite accomplishments'? Don't be imposed upon'; 'all is not gold that glitters.' Beauty, and property, and pleasing manners, and polite accomplishments', are all very good make-weights to a bargain that is good independently of them', but would make a wretchedly bad bargain of themselves. In marrying, you want not only what will look well', and excite admiration when all goes on smoothly, but you want what will afford real comfort and support in the time of adversity."

Then they would ask', "How does the party behave in present relations'? Is he', (or she',) remarked as a dutiful, affectionate, attentive child'; a kind brother or sister'? for never yet was it found that the disobedient, rebellious son', or the pert, undutiful daughter', was fitted to make an affectionate, faithful, valuable husband or wife."

Then again', "Is the intended party of age', temper', and habits', suitable to your own'? for people may be very good in themselves who are not suitable to each other'; and

* Pronounced gee, g being hard; Scotch, for I would 'nt give.

two people who have been used to different ways of living', must have an uncommon share of good temper and forbearance', if ever they make each other happy in the married life. Remember, "Marriage with peace and piety is this world's paradisè; with strife and disagreement', it is this life's purgatory."

"Is the person humble, industrious, and contented'? If not', your present lot will not satisfy her'; still less will she be willing to descend to a low staté, if such should be the appointment of Providence.

"And then, how is it as to the one thing needful'? Whatever you do, don't let this' be overlooked. Without true religion, you lose the best sweetness and relish of prosperity, and you have no provision whatever for meeting trials and afflictions: besides, if you could live together a century in the tenderest affection', and the most unmingled comfort', what a dreadful thing to think of death coming and separating you forever! Be sure, then', you remember the scripture rulè, 'only in the Lord',' and expect not the blessing of God if you violate it. Ask the blessing of God on all your engagements. A prudent wife is of the Lord.' • In all your ways acknowledge Him', and He will direct your paths."

"When all these matters are satisfactorily settled, and your choice is fixed, be steady and faithful. Never act with levity', or say or do a thing that would give each other pain. Be very prudent and circumspect in your intercourse with each other. In this respect, your future comfort and confidence are at stake', as well as your fair character in the world. Let nothing that occurs now, furnish matter for reproach or regret at any future time."

66

To young married people, our friends would say', "Let your conduct be such as to render easy the duties of the other party." A wife is commanded to reverence her husband. Let his conduct be wise and holy', and then it will command' reverence. Husbands, love your wives';" then, wives should be truly amiable'; a man can hardly love a vixen or a slattern. If a wife wishes to keep her husband at home', she must make home comfortable to him': in order to this, she must be, as the apostle says', "discreet', chaste', a keeper at home." A giddy, gadding wife is sure to make a dissatisfied', if not a dissolute' husband. Seek to promote each other's comforts', so will you best secure your own.

"Let there be no secrets', and no separate interests. Do nothing that requires concealment', and never act in such a way as to provoke it. Many a partner, of a generous and open disposition, has been driven to practise concealment by the extravagance or unkindness of the associate."

To husbands they said'—"Treat your wife always with respect. It will procure respect to you not only from her, but from all who observe it. Never use a slighting expression to her even in jest, for slights in jest, after frequent handyings', are apt to end in angry earnest'." To both:"Remember the design' of your union to promote each other's honor, comfort, and usefulness in this life', and preparation for a better. You are to walk together as fellowtravelers through the paths of time', whether smooth or rugged'; and as fellow-heirs of the grace of life, helping each other by prayer, counsel, sympathy', and forbearance."

"Always keep in view the termination of your union',— 'till death do part us.' This will keep you sober and moderate in your worldly enjoyments and expectations', and at the same time will preserve you from such conduct as would embitter the parting moment', or add an unnecessary pang to the grief of the survivor.”

It was no uncommon thing for persons to carry to our good friends complaints against bad husbands', or bad wives. Such complaints generally met the reply', "Go back, then', and be thyself a better wife', (or husband',) and see if that do not prevail with him', (or her',) to be a better husband', (or wife.") Another sound piece of advice often given them was this: "Whenever differences arise, endeavor to persuade yourself that they must have arisen from some mistake or misunderstanding of your own; never suppose the other party in fault', or that any thing unkind could have been intended, but charge all the blame on yourself, and make it your business to promote reconciliation and preserve peace. This will at once mellow your own spirit', and win the other party to reconciliation and love." I remember being greatly pleased with a fable which I once read. It was something like this':-The sun and the north wind were trying which could soonest make a traveler part with his loose coat. The wind began', and, storming with all its force, tumbled and tossed the coat about the poor man's ears', but to no purpose, for the stronger it blew, the man held and wrapt his coat the closer about him. When the wind was