But wad ye see him in his glee,
For mekle glee and fun has he,

Then set him down, and twa or three

Gude fellows wi' him;

And port, O port! shine thou a wee,

And then ye'll see him!

Now, by the Pow'rs o' Verse and Prose!

Thou art a dainty chield, O Grose !—

Whae'er o' thee shall ill suppose,

They sair misca' thee;

I'd tak the rascal by the nose,

Wad say, Shame fa' thee.

EPIGRAM ON CAPTAIN FRANCIS GROSE,

THE CELEBRATED ANTIQUARIAN.

The following Epigram, written in a moment of festivity by Burns, was so much relished by Grose, that he made it serve as an excuse for prolonging the convivial occasion that gave it birth to a very late hour.

The Devil got notice that GROSE was a dying,

So whip! at the summons, old Satan came flying:
But when he approach'd where poor FRANCIS lay moaning,
And saw each bed-post with its burden a groaning
Astonished! confounded! cry'd Satan, by G-d,
I'll want 'im, ere I take such a dble load.

7

The Captain, it seems, was extremely fond of taking his porter of an evening at the King's Arms,* in Holborn, nearly opposite Newton-Street, a house distinguished for the company of wits, men of talent, and the most respectable tradesmen in the neighbourhood of BloomsburySquare. Mr. Quick was also a constant visiter at the King's Arms. Here the Captain was the hero of the tale; and often in turn shook his fat sides with laughter, at the number of "good things," in the shape of bon mots, repartees, &c. which nightly passed between the company at one table or the other.

The Captain had a man of the name of Batch, who was a sort of companion and servant united in the same per

*It is worthy of remark, that the King's Arms has, for upwards of the last forty years, been a tavern of the same description: and at the present period (1823), under the management of Mr. Dawson, it still retains its character in being the resort of men of literature: persons connected with the press; artists; distinguished performers belonging to the Theatres Royal; men of talent in general; and merchants and tradesmen of the highest respectability in society, where, after the fatigues of their various vocations are over for the day, they unbend, with that playfulness of disposition, and liberality of mind, which makes the remembrance of worthy and upright companions vibrate on the heart with magical effect. The late much-lamented and celebrated comedian, Mr. John Emery, till a short time before his decease, was a constant visiter: here his enlivening conversation, choice anecdotes, and humourous songs, never failed to "set the table in a roar." The King's Arms is also distinguished for an harmonic society of the most select description, denominated the HyGEIAN CLUB.

son. Batch and his master used frequently to start at midnight from the King's Arms, in search of adventures. The Back Slums of St. Giles's were explored again and again; and the Captain and Batch made themselves as affable and jolly as the rest of the motley crew among the beggars, cadgers, thieves, &c. who at that time infested the Holy Land!* The Scout-Kens, too, were often visited by them, on the "look-out" for a bit of fun; and the dirty" smoke-pipes" in Turnmill-Street did not spoil the Captain's taste in his search after character!

* A note cannot be deemed superfluous here, otherwise the sentence might remain a perfect paradox-the Holy Land, infested with thieves, &c. It most certainly is not the "Land of Promise;" neither can I vouch for the accuracy of the derivation, which states the meaning to be, that the inhabitants of the Holy Land (St. Giles's) are more holely in their garments than righteous in their conduct.-Sacer, in Latin, and Sacre, in French, are used in the double sense of holy or cursed!

Neither were the rough squad at St. Kitts, and "the sailor-boys cap'ring a-shore" at Saltpetre-Bank, forgotten in their nightly strolls by Batch and his master.

In short, wherever a "bit of life" could be seen to advantage, or the " knowledge-box" of the Captain obtain any thing like a "new light" respecting mankind, he felt himself happy, and did not think his time misapplied. It was from these nocturnal sallies, and the slang expressions which continually assailed his ears, that Captain Grose was first induced to compile a CLASSICAL DICTIONARY OF THE VULGAR TONGUE, intended for the amusement, if not for the benefit, of the public.

Batch, at the request of his master, was directed one evening to dress himself in the Captain's regimentals, in order to personate Mr. Grose on a particular occasion; but, like the character of FALSTAFF, he was obliged to be.

"stuffed" with pillows, &c. before he could play the part; the regimentals of the captain being big enough to contain two such fellows as Batch. But somewhat different from the old axiom of "like master, like man," poor Batch was scarcely dressed for the character, when attempting in the street to ascend the steps of a hackneycoach to join the party in which he was destined to represent the Captain, his foot slipped, and he was nearly rolling into the kennel. Batch felt so encumbered with the stuffing that he could not get upon his legs, and loudly solicited the assistance of Coachee once more to enable him to obtain his equilibrium. On Jervy's lifting him up, one of his hands sunk in, and appeared to be lost in the belly of the Captain; when he exclaimed with the greatest surprise, "By G-, I never felt any person in all my life half so soft; what the devil is the gemman made of?" while Mr. Grose, in his private clothes, stood, at Hooper's door, laughing at the ludicrous scene, and enjoying it beyond description.

Tom Cocking likewise used to relate many droll circumstances which befel the Captain in his travels: it being Tom's province, at night, to put two straps over his master, for the purpose of keeping the bed-clothes on him, Captain Grose being so bulky and uncomfortable to himself.