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Sir H. Draw, sir! what shall I draw?
facetious humour well enough; it shows courage and uncon. cern. I know you brave, and therefore use you thus. Draw your sword.
Sir H. Nay, to oblige you, I will draw; but the devil take me if I fight.- l'erhaps, colonel, this is the prettiest blade you have seen.
Colonel S. I doubt not but the arm is gooi; and therefore think both worth my resentment. Come, sir.
Sir H. But, prythee, colonel, dost think hat I am such a madman, as to send my soul to the devil and body to the worms-upon every fool's errand ?
(Aside. Colonel s. I hope you're no coward, sir.
Sir H. Coward, sir! I have eight thousand pounds a year, sir.
Colonel S. You fought in the army, to my knowledge.
Sir H. Ay, for the same reason that I wore a red coat ; because 'twas fashionable.
Colonel S. Sir, you fought a French count in Paris.
Sir H. True, sir, he was a beau, like myself. Now you're a soldier, colonel, and fighting is your trade; and I think it downright madness to contend with any man in his profession.
Colonel S. Come, sir, no more dallying ; I shall take very unseemly methods, if you don't show
yourself a gentleman.
Sir II. A gentleman! Why, there again now. A gentleman! I tell you once more, colonel, that I am a baronet, and have eight thousand pounds a year. I can dance, sing, ride, fence, understand the languages
-Now I can't conceive how runing you through the body should contribute one joe more to my gentility. But pray, colonel, I had forgot to ask you, what's the quarrel ? Colonel S. A woman,
Sir H. Then I put up my sword. Take her.
Sir H. Nay, if your honour be concerned with a woman, get it out of her hands as soon as you can.--An honourable lover is the greatest slave in nature: some will say, the greatest fool. Come, come, colonel, this is something about the Lady Lurewell, I warrant; I can give you satisfaction in that affair.
Colonel S. Do so then immediately.
Sir H. Put up your sword first: you know I dare fight, but I had much rather make you a friend than an enemy. I can assure you this lady will prove too hard for one of your temper. You have too much honour, too much in conscience, to be a favourite with the ladies.
Colonel S. I'm assured, sir, she never gave you any encouragement.
Sir H. A man can never hear reason with his stvord in his hand. Sheath your weapon; and then, if I don't satisfy you, sheath it in my body.
Colonel S. Give me but demonstration of her granting you any favour, and it is enough. Sir H. Will
take word ? Colonel S. Pardon me, sir, I cannot. Sir H. Will
s? Colonel S. 'Tis ten to one whether I shall or no; they have deceived me already.
Sir H. That's hard--but some means I shall de. vise for your satisfaction--[Noise. - We must fly this place, else that cluster of mob will overwhelm us.
(Exeunt. Enter Mob, Tom Errand's Wife hurrying in
CLINCHER SENIOR in ERRAND's Clothes. Wife. Oh! the villain, the rogue, he has murdered my husband. Ah, my poor Timothy!
Clinch. sen. Dem your Timothy !-your husband
has murdered me, woman; for he has carried away my fine jubilee clothes.
Mob. Away with him-away with him to the Thames.
Clinch. sen. Oh, if I had but my swimming girdle now!
Const. Hold, neighbours, I command the peace.
Wife. Oh! Mr Constable, here's a rogue that has murdered my husband, and robbed him of his clothes.
Const. Murder and robbery !—Then he must be a gentleman. -Hands off there; he must not be abused. Give an account of yourself. Are you a gentleman?
Clinch. sen. No, sir, I am a beau.
Const. A beau—Then you have killed nobody, I'm persuaded. How came you by these clothes, sir?
Clinch sen. You must know, sir, that walking along, sir, I don't know how, sir, I can't tell where, sir, and so the porter and I changed clothes, sir.
Const. Very well. The man speaks reason, and like a gentleman.
Wife. But pray, Mr Constable, ask him how he changed clothes with him.
Const. Silence, woman, and don't disturb the court. Well, sir, how did you change clothes ?
Clinch. sen. Why, sir, he pulled off my coat, and I drew off his : so I put on his coat, and he put on mine.
Const. Why, neighbour, I don't find that he's guilty : search him--and if he carries no arms about him, we'll let him go.
[They search his Pockets, and pull out his Pistolsa Clinch. sen. Oh, gemini! My jubilee pistols! Const. What, a case of pistols! Then the case is plain. Speak, what are you, sir? Whence came you, and whither go you?
Clinch. sen. Sir, I came from Russel Street, and am going to the jubilee.
Wife. You shall go to the gallows, you rogue.
Const. Away with him, away with him to Newgate, straight. Clinch. sen. I shall go the jubilee now, indeed.
[Exeunt. Enter Sir H. WILDAIR and COLONEL STANDARD.
Sir H. In short, colonel, 'tis all nonsense-fight for a woman! Hard by is the lady's house, if you please, we'll wait on her together : you shall draw
sword _I'll draw my snuff-box: you shall produce your wounds received in war- —I'll relate mine by Cupid's dart : you shall swear--I'll sigh: you shall sa, sa, and I'll coupee; and if she flies not to my arms like a hawk to its perch, my dancing-master deserves to be damned.
Colonel S. With the generality of women, I grant you, these arts may prevail.
Sir H. Generality of women! Why there again, you're out. They're all alike, sir: I never heard of any one that was particular, but one.
Colonel S. Who was she, pray?
Sir H. Penelope, I think she's called, and that's a poetical story too. When will
find a poet in our age make a woman so chaste ?
Colonel S. Well, Sir Harry, your facetious humour can disguise falsehood, and make calumny pass for satire ; but you have promised me ocular demonstration that she favours you: make that good, and I shall then maintain faith and female to be as inconsistent as truth and falsehood.
Sir H. But will you be convinced, if our plot succeeds ?
Colonel S. I rely on your word and honour, Sir Harry.
Sir H. Then meet me half an hour hence at the Shakspeare; you must oblige me by taking a hearty glass with me toward the fitting me out for a certain project, which this night I undertake.
Colonel S. I guess, by, the preparation, that woman's the design.
Sir H. Yes, 'faith. I am taken dangerously ill with two foolish maladies, modesty and love: the first I'll cure with burgundy, and my love by a night's lodging with the damsel: A sure remedy. Probatum est. Colonel S. I'll certainly meet you, sir.
[Exeunt severally. Enter CLINCHER JUNIOR and Dicky. Clinch. jun. Ah, Dick, this London is a sad place, a sad vicious place: I wish that I were in the country again. And this brother of mine I'm
he's so great a rake: I had rather see him dead than see him thus.
Dicky. Ay, sir, he'll spend his whole estate at this same jubilee.- Who d'ye think lives at this same jubilee?
Clinch. jun. Who, pray?
Clinch. jun. The devil he does! My brother go to the place where the Pope dwells ! He's bewitched, sure! Enter Tom ERRAND, in CLINCHER SENIOR's Clothes.
Dicky. Indeed, I believe he is, for he's strangely altered.
Clinch.jun. Altered ! Why, he looks like a Jesuit, already.
Tom. This lace will sell. What a blockhead was the fellow to trust me with his coat! If I can get cross the garden, down to the water-side, I am pretty
Clinch. jun. Brother?-O la! Oh, gemini! Are you my