T Th praise. Speak, Holy Father, and it shall be so. Yesterday, in conversation with a Christian friend or two, the divine presence so filled the place, and also my soul, as it is impossible to express. I adore the great meritorious Cause of these great privileges. O Lamb of God, what hast thou done for sinners! Eternity alone can develope the great mystery of thy inexpressible love. While in the body, how little are we capable of receiving. I December 17. Since the 8th instant, my spiritual enjoyments have rather increased, as have also my bodily strength and spirits. During this tedious illness, I have been kept dreading too great attention to the body; and have felt grateful, for some days past, to feel that I am gradually rising, by returning health, above these paltry concerns. would always live in a spirit of sacrifice. Still confined from the house of God, I feel my loss, and look forward with comfort to the enjoyment of that privilege. Of late I have found secret prayer, and searching the Scriptures, to be sources of increasing comfort. Yesterday, the Lord was sweetly present with me in the morning, and greatly comforted me through the channel of his word, and also while joining a few Christian friends in prayer, praise, and Christian conference. Afterward, in company with a larger circle, with gratitude I would acknowledge the goodness of the Lord, in giving a greater power to speak of the deep things of God than I expected, considering my present weakness. O that I might love him more! Speak, Lord, and it shall be so: kindle a stronger flame of divine love than ever in my heart: ever keep it alive. February 25, 1803. On taking up my pen, at this time, to make mention of the goodness of my God, I feel my heart going out after him, and all that degree of his fulness that the feeble powers of humanity can admit. O Lord, what is man that thou hast been so mindful of him; made such ample, yea, superabounding provision for his eternal welfare; and while in this vale of tears, dost so graciously and so frequently give him to drink of the brook by the way; whereby his head is lifted up, and a song of praise put in his mouth! Thou dost, blessed Lord, greatly magnify the riches of thy grace in thy dealings with thy people: O for a heart to praise thee! O let my every word, thought, and act, be praise! While detained last Lord's Day from his house, which I felt as a keen trial, I was favoured with the most delightful meditations upon, and enjoyment by faith of, future glory. It is impossible to express the clear and powerfully impressive views I had of the Father and the Son, seated on the throne of glory; but I look for far greater things, as it respects conformity to the divine image. This my soul thirsteth for with vehement desire. Condescend, Holy Father, to fulfil these desires; surely they are implanted by the Spirit. I enjoyed repeated opportunities, these days past, of endeavouring to do good to saints and sinners. Lord, thou canst bless the most inadequate means, and thereby render them effectual. On Thursday, I felt rather cast down, from various natural causes; I cried unto the Lord, who, in tender compassion, gave car unto my supplications, and dealt most bountifully with me, and those present. He made it a time of great refreshing, by a plenitude of the divine presence. My whole soul felt deeply solemnized. The vail of the temple seemed to be rent, and access given to enter into the holy of holies. I feel truly unworthy of all his goodness. Blessed Jesus, it is bestowed for thy sake; make and keep me humble. I bless God, I deeply feel my poverty; mercies bestowed do not make me high-minded. The higher I am raised by these frequent and precious manifestations, the deeper I seem to sink: may it ever be so. May 27. The increase of nearness to, and communion with Deity, with which I was favoured on Monday the 23d, through the goodness of my God, still continues, though the adversary has made various attempts to rob me of it. Yet, I am constrained to follow on; I cannot rest in what is already bestowed. My views grow more extensive of the privileges of Christians, of that holy familiarity with Deity, Christ has purchased for them; of those superior degrees of conformity to the divine image, those may expect, who through grace are determined to be all for God; to seek and find their all in him. My feeble pen cannot describe all I see by faith on this subject; I also sweetly taste of it. O that both may continue and increase! September 23. The Lord God Omnipotent reigneth. Here is a solid source of consolation, amidst all these shakings of the nations, these violent attempts for the subversion of all order and good government; these subtle, various, and satanical endeavours to destroy the belief of the truth as it is in Jesus; yea, to undeify the great Author of life and salva-tion; and thereby, if possible, to rob the Christian of his wellgrounded hope of eternal happiness. How vain are all these feeble attempts! "He that sitteth in the heavens shall laugh, the Lord shall have them in derision; He shall break them with a rod of iron, and dash them in pieces like a potter's vessel." The foundation Jehovah hath laid for the hope of his people, standeth sure: the gates of hell shall never prevail against it. Lord, open the eyes of deluded sinners, before their feet stumble upon the dark mountains; and O may I praise thee now, and through all eternity, that thou hast opened mine, not only to see my danger, but to escape it; and hast also allowed me such delightful communion and fellowship with the Father and the Son, and still keepest me pressing on. Lord, quicken my pace. 1804-7. Diary continued. JANUARY 27. Still am I a monument of sparing mercy, and still much cause given me to say, "Bless the Lord, O my soul," for past and present favours. How grateful ought I to be! Last Lord's Day morning, in secret, I was led to plead for much of the divine presence. In my way to the house of God, I looked up for the answer of prayer, and not in vain. The Sacred Three drew divinely near; and still nearer, when singing the praises of my God. In public, I seemed to get in spirit above all created good; my soul soared beyond the skies. The subject under discussion afforded much profit and delight: the Lord shone gloriously upon my soul, and my spiritual enjoyment was exquisite. I proved my union with the Lord Jesus to be inexpressibly intimate and close; while my views of the Father and the Holy Spirit were as clear, to the eye of faith, as the sun in his meridian brightness; and, at the same time, most impressive: this continued for some days. May 25. I have been confined to the house with a severe cold, but had much cause to bless the Father of Mercies that he gave me health to attend at the annual examination of my week-day school. I had the satisfaction of dismissing a goodly number of scholars well taught, and of putting into the hand of each, that sacred volume, which, with the blessing of the Lord, is able to make them wise to salvation. O God, seal the truth it contains upon each of their hearts; and, O give thy peculiar countenance to those now received to supply their place! Without this, all my attempts to profit my fellow-creatures, whether old or young, September 28. I have reason to think, that the work of grace in my soul is going forward. My intercourse with Deity increases; my God deals most tenderly and liberally with me. May I to the utmost improve his condescending goodness. He has, in a sensible manner, heard my prayer, put up on the 2d instant. I do feel more independent of the creature; of course, I rely more on the Creator; and not in vain. Lord, I would, more closely and humbly than ever, walk with thee. Increase my power. I have had several sweet seasons since last date. Yesterday, especially, my heart felt lifted up, when speaking of the things of God. I was deeply impressed with a sense of his astonishing love, in the redemption of sinners; and enjoyed unusual liberty of speech, when dwelling on the pleasing, the delightful theme. But, O, how little of that vast plan can our limited powers take in; even angels themselves, those bright intelligences, far superior to man, are represented as desiring to look into and deeply to consider this stupendous mystery. Surely Jehovah himself alone knows the height and depth of it. October 19. The God of all grace and consolation still remembers his unworthy creature for good. On Lord's Day morning, in public, I did not wait upon my God in vain. On Monday, all day, I enjoyed a plenitude of the gracious |
